Part 8fr:  Rescue dogs and cats out of the bag.

We left Phil and Frankie kneeling nervously beside  Mister Gordon after Phil had accidentally knocked him unconscious with a snow shovel.

“You didn’t kill him, Curly.  Look, his eyelids are twitching.”

“Mr. Gordon.  Mr.Gordon.  Speak to me.  Are you all right?”

Mr. Gordon opened his eyes, looked at Phil and Frankie and said:
“What hit me?”

“It was me Mr. Gordon.  I’m so sorry.  I did it with the shovel.  Oh, it was an accident.  Please, will you forgive me?”

“That’s all right, Mister, Mister…?”

“My name is Phil Wellbright, and this is my friend Frankie Elliott, and the only reason we’re wearing these orange jumpsuits is because we found them in the closet and we needed some clothes to keep us warm.”

“I forgive you Mr.Wellbright.  I should have known better than to approach you with that tree blocking your view.  I wanted to come over here to apologize to you gentlemen.”

“You, apologize to us?”

“Yes. When I saw you two earlier today wearing those orange jumpsuits, I assumed you two were a couple of patients from our nearby rest home who had wandered away.  That accounts for my less than cordial  behavior when we met earlier.  After I telephoned Morning Rise, and the people there assured me they had no patients missing, I remembered that Bill Travers, who used to live in this house, had two of those jump suits that he used to wear up north.  I do hope you gentlemen will forgive me.”

“That’s quite all right Mr. Gordon.  Anyone could make the same mistake.  Officer Carson thought we were from Morning Rise, and even that kind Mrs. Springington thought so, until you called and cleared the whole thing up.  Here, let us help you up.”

“Thank you, I think I’ll sit a moment longer.  I’m still feeling a bit dizzy.”

“Say Mr. Gordon, I just realized something.  How come nobody thought we were escaped prisoners in these orange jumpsuits?”

“The county jail uses orange with white stripes.  If I had seen you wearing those, I would have brought Bessie with me.”

“Bessie, huh?  Reminds me of some of the old timers I know back home who name their shootin’ irons.”

“Bessie isn’t a gun, she’s a dog.”

“A dog?  Oh, I get it, like one of those guard dogs or something?”

“Yes, she’s a trained Rottweiler.”

“Pretty mean, is she?”

“No.  Bessie has a sweet disposition.  But on command she can take a man down and hold him until any threat has been neutralized.”

“I’ll sure glad Bessie wasn’t with you just now.  She might have thought I was some kind of threat, after I konked you on the head with this shovel.”

“Yes, well, I normally don’t take her on a social call.  I don’t really know her that well.”

“You mean you own a dog that on command can take a man down, and you hardly know her?  I don’t get it.”

“Bessie isn’t my dog.  I’m caring for her until we find her a new home.  That’s an interest of mine;  sort of rescuing dogs and cats who’ve been neglected or abused, and finding new homes for those pets whose owners can no longer keep them.”

“You do that, just on your own?”

“Yes.  We all have our strengths and weakness you know.   I find that I’m not much good with people; I am actually rather shy you see, and I’m afraid that often makes me  comes off as stuffy and aloof; and I am also aware that my  appearance, no matter how much I try to soften it,  does not exactly cause people to warm up to me.”

“Oh now Mr. Gordon, I don’t think so at all.”

“That’s very kind of you to say, Mr. Wellbright, but I am well aware of the fact that I look like what some people would call a sourpuss.”

Blushing deeply, Frankie could only say:

“Can you imagine that?”

“Yes.  I am happy to say that dogs don’t seem to mind my appearance, and thanks to them I am able to do some good in my own small way.  With a face like this, it is good to be an animal lover.  Oh, here comes my wife.”

“She must be an animal lover too.”

“Frankie!”

Frankie answered aside to Phil: “Sorry, it just slipped out.  The last time I saw a face like that it was looking into a crystal ball at Dorothy and her dog Toto.”

Phil answered in a hushed tone, “Quiet will ya?  He’ll hear you.”

Frankie cleared his throat and spoke again to Mr. Gordon:

“What I meant was, you know, common interest between husband and wife.”

“Yes, I’m sure.  While Mrs. Gordon does share my affection for animals, she is a nurse and spends much of her time giving first aid classes.  When she isn’t doing that, she busies herself primarily in our town’s arts and literature society you know, always finding writers and poets and artists to come and give talks at luncheons.”  Mrs. Gordon joined the group.  “Hello dear.  This is Mr. Wellbright and Mr. Elliott.  Gentlemen, my wife.”

“Pleased to meet you Mrs. Gordon.”

Mrs. Gordon nodded  to Phil and Frankie:

“Merry Christmas, gentlemen.  Oswald, this is no time to be playing in the snow.  We have a lot to do yet, and you’re not even wearing your gloves.”

“I wasn’t playing dear.  I had an accident.  If you gentlemen will give me a hand,  I think I can stand up now.”  Phil and Frankie helped Mr. Gordon to his feet.  As they brushed the snow from Mr. Gordon, Phil said to Mrs. Gordon:

“I sure think it’s wonderful what your husband does to help neglected dogs and cats, Mrs. Gordon.  You must feel pretty good, knowing you’re caring for those animals until you can find them a new home.  I have a dog too, Petey  is his name, and the thought of him being neglected or abused would practically break my heart.  By the way, I’m you’re new neighbor.  I just rented this house.  I’d love to have you and Mr. Gordon come over and meet Petey sometime.  He’s a good dog, and very friendly.”

“Thank you Mr. Wellbright.   We’ll be glad to take you up on your invitation.  We must have you over for dinner one night to welcome you to the neighborhood, perhaps sometime between now and the New Year.   Wellbright…Wellbright?  Seems I know that name from somewhere, oh well, I’m sure it will come to me.  Mr. Elliott, haven’t I seen you around our town?”

“Oh sure.  I’m from around here myself.  Just Curly here is new to the neighborhood.”

“Seems you’re some kind of musician, aren’t you?”

“That’s right.  I’m sort of in between engagements right now.”

“I’m glad to hear that, it means you have plenty of free time.”

“Oh, well, I’m no good at giving lectures on my art, if that’s what you have in mind.”

“No, that’s not what I was going to suggest.  I’d like you to come to one of my first aid classes.  We could always use an extra dummy.”

“A what?”

“I beg your pardon.  It’s just that our local department store usually let’s us borrow any of their extra  mannequins to practice wrapping bandages on, but during the Christmas season they never have any to spare.”

“Oh, well, sure, I’d be glad to lend a hand.  Or an arm.  Pick a limb, any limb.”

“I was thinking about doing a lesson on treating head injuries next time.  Tell me, Mr. Elliott, were you by any chance ever dropped on your head as a child?”

“On my head!  All my childhood traumas occurred at the other end, if you’ll pardon the expression, courtesy of my old man’s leather belt.”

“My mistake. I guess my crystal ball must have been a little cloudy.”

“You’re crystal ball!”

Mr. Gordon said:

“That, Mr. Elliott, is my wife’s sense of humor.  You see, both she and I do make jokes occasionally.”

“Oh, well, that’s a good one on me.  I feel a little embarrassed now.”

Mrs. Gordon seemed not to mind any further and spoke to her husband:

“We must get going, Oswald; I need your help with the tree.  Did you hurt your head?”   They started to turn to go and Phil said:

“Merry Christmas, Mr. and Mrs. Gordon.  Just stop in anytime.  You don’t need to stand on ceremony with me.  Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Mr. Wellbright, Mr. Elliott.  Oh, and Mr. Elliott, I’m sorry about my little joke about being dropped on your head.  By the way, I’ve heard that you really are a very capable and versatile musician.  I would so love you to come to one of our luncheons and play for us.  You wouldn’t have to give a lecture at all.”

“Thank you Mrs. Gordon.  I’ll take you up on that.  Merry Christmas.”  Frankie answered as  Mr. and Mrs. Gordon walked back toward their house.  “You know, they really are a couple of nice people.  I’m sorry I called Mr. Gordon a sourpuss earlier and made that crack about the crystal ball just now.  I didn’t think either one of them could hear me.  Guess I was wrong.  I feel like a heel.”

“Why don’t you go tell then you’re sorry?  They both apologized to you, you should do the same, if you really are sorry.”

“I’ll do it.  Thanks Curly.”  Then calling to  Mr. and Mrs. Gordon, “Mr. and Mrs. Gordon, would you wait for me a moment?  I’ll be right there.”  Turning back to Phil he said:  “Hey Curly before I go, do you realize you told Mr. Gordon your real name,  and Mrs. Gordon knows it too, and she’s always looking for writers and artists to talk at their society luncheons?   I think you just blew your own cover.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Frankie.  I guess in my panic after knocking Mr. Gordon unconscious, I forgot I was pretending not to be me.  I heard the way Mrs. Gordon said she knew my name from somewhere too.  Looks like I let the cat out of the bag.  I ‘d better go tell Mrs. Springington my real name.  I wouldn’t want that nice woman to find out from someone else.”

“Okay Curly.  I’ll catch up with you after I finish telling  Mr. and Mrs.Gordon how sorry I am.”

“Okay Frankie.”  Phil started back towards the Sprinington house when he noticed something on the ground.  “What’s this?  One of Mary  Elizabeth’s mittens must have fallen out of her pocket.  I’ll give this to Mrs. Springinton when I tell her I used a phony name.  I hope she isn’t too disappointed in me.”

Phil walked up the front step and rang the bell, but instead of Mrs. Springington,  the door was opened a much younger woman.

Phil didn’t speak at first.  He gazed at her a moment, then seemed to remember himself:

“Hello. ”

“Hello.”

“Where did you come from?”

To be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part  Seven fb:  A heart of gold.

We left Phil, Frankie, and Officer Carson in the Springinton kitchen with Mrs. Springinton and Mary Elizabeth.  The boys had just realized the confusion they had created by donning those orange jumpsuits, and were sharing a laugh with Officer Carson, while they all enjoyed some of Mrs. Springinton’s cookies and hot cocoa.  Officer Carson had just finished a still-warm-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookie when he asked:

“There is one thing I don’t understand.  Why were you two so determined to complete that snowfamily of yours today?  When I asked you to come to the station with me, it was like I was trying to pry you away from your own child.  What was up with that?”

“Officer Carson, I’m afraid that is the second, and I hope final confusion in a series of ongoing blunders that I have been making today.  You see, last night, while I was out walking my dog Petey, I happened to be on the sidewalk in front of the Springintons house here when Mary Elizabeth’s mother brought her home from that play she was in, except I didn’t know that was Mary Elizabeth’s mother, and I didn’t know she was in a play.  What I saw was a woman dressed as a nurse carrying what I supposed to be a sick little child into the house.  Then I heard Mr. and Mrs. Springington speaking to the nurse about a big cast of some kind, and, well I imagined the sick little girls mother had been in some sort of terrible accident, and was in a big cast.  Then I heard someone say they didn’t know where Mary Elizabeth’s father was, or if he would be home for Christmas.  I thought he had skipped out on his own family.  I suppose I was wrong about that too?”

“Yes, my son-in-law is in the Navy on some kind of assignment; you, know, he can’t really tell us about it.  We only found out today that he will be coming home to spend Christmas with us.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.  Anyway, so here I was, the night before Christmas Eve, and here was this poor, sick little girl, her mother in a bed of pain after suffering some terrible injuries, and her irresponsible father nowhere to be found.  I wanted to do something to cheer the little girl up, to brighten what I thought was going to be a pretty sad Christmas for her, so I decided to build a snowman for her, and that it had to finished before it got dark on Christmas Eve.”

Officer Carson noted that:

“When I got there, you already had one snowman built and were talking about making a whole family.”

“That’s because Frankie here decided to help.  You see, I’ve never spent a winter in the north,  in fact I’ve never built a snowman, so when Frankie heard my story about the sick little girl, he offered to help, and even insisted we build a whole snowfamily to cheer her up.”

Mrs. Springinton  said:

“That is so sweet of you gentlemen.  I’m glad to have you as a neighbor Mr. Webster, and Mr. Elliot, you must feel free to stop in as often as you like.”

“Thank you Mrs. Springington.  Curly and I are great pals, so I’m sure I’ll be around.   These cookies are delicious, do you mind if I have another?”

“Help yourself.  Please, everybody, help themselves.  Officer Carson, are you leaving so soon?”

“I’d love to stay and visit with you Mrs. Springington, but I’m still on duty.  Thanks for the cookies and cocoa.”

“We should be going too, Mrs. Springington.  I want to change out of these orange jumpsuits before we create any more confusion.  Thank you for your hospitality.  You have a lovely grand-daughter.”

“Thank you Mr. Webster.  It’s too bad you didn’t get a chance to meet the rest of the family, but my husband is picking up Robert, that’s Mary Elizabeths father, and my daughters are both at the theatre.”

“Oh, you have more than one daughter in the play?”

“Yes,  my younger daughter Alice is in the show too.”

“Well, perhaps we’ll get to meet them all soon.”

“Yes, I certainly hope so.  Good day gentleman.”

“Good bye Mrs. Springington.  Thanks again.”

Phil, Frankie, and Officer Carson stepped out of the Springinton house into the late afternoon air.  As the three reached the sidewalk, Phil said:

“What a nice woman.  So thoughtful and kind.  She seems sort of dizzy at first, but I don’t know…”

To which Officer Carson replied:

“Yeah, I thought she was a little flighty when I first met her myself ; but now I think that’s just her way of setting a comforting tone, you know, to help others feel at ease.    Although she may act like she’s up in the air, I believe Mrs. Springington has both feet on the ground, and not some shifting quicksand either, but firm, steady rock.”

“I think you’re right Officer Carson, there’s something  solid behind that dizzy exterior.”

“Solid is right,  and she’s got a heart of gold.”

“A heart of gold, did you say?”

“Yeah, one of the purest.  Well, I’ve got to go the other way down the block. Nice meeting you,  Mr. Webster, Mr. Elliot.”

“Just call me Phil.”

“Or Curly, that’s what I call him.”

“Yeah, or Curly.  Just don’t call me Babe.”

“And you can just call me Frankie.”

“Okay, Phil, Frankie, it was nice meeting you.  Merry Christmas.”

To which Phil and Frankie both answered:

“Merry Christmas. ”

“Come on Curly, let’s get out of these orange danger signs before we cause any more confusion.”

“Yeah, I suppose there’s no longer any hurry on finishing the rest of that snow family.  You go ahead up to the house, Frankie, I’m going to grab that shovel. ”

“After we get out of these coveralls, maybe we could take Petey for a walk.”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll be right there.”  Phil reached the snow shovel that was stuck in a deep bank of snow.  “Here’s how Paul Bunyan would swing it up and over his shoulder–”

The still, quiet afternoon air was disturbed by a clanging sound, as of a large, metal object striking something hard.

“Oops,  guess I was a little too close to that tree.”

Frankie, who had just stepped inside, popped back out.  “Hey Curly, what was that?  It sounded like my old man when he used to call the dogs in by banging a soup bone on a cast iron skillet.”

“It was just me, Frankie.  I must have hit that tree trunk with this shovel when I swung it up onto my shoulder, you know, Paul Bunyan style again.”

“Tree trunk nothing!  Look behind you Curly.”

“Why?  What did I–  Mr. Gordon!  Oh no, Frankie, come here, quick, it’s Mr. Gordon.”

“Well Paul Bunyan, you felled him with one swipe of your mighty shovel.”

“Frankie, this is no laughing matter.  I think I killed him!  Oh, poor Mr. Gordon.”

To be continued…

 

Part 6: Cold hands and warm hearts.

We left our friends Phil and Frankie, in the company of Officer Carson and  Mary Elizabeth.  Phil has just realized that Mary Elizabeth is the sick little girl from next door, except she isn’t sick at all, and her mother has not been in a terrible accident.  We rejoin them with Phil feeling foolish, just as they are about to enter the home of Mary Elizabeth’s grandparents:

“Grandma, I brought Officer Carson and these other two nice gentlemen for some Christmas cookies, just like you asked me to.”

“Welcome gentlemen, and Merry Christmas.  Please come in.  Officer Carson, it’s so nice to see you again.  I hope everything is well with you.”

“Yes, Mrs. Springington, I’m fine.  Allow me to introduce my friends here, this is Paul Bunyan, and this is Curly.  Guys, this is Mrs. Springington.”

To which Phil and Frankie replied:

“Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Springington.”

“Nice to meet you, gentlemen.  Paul Bunyan and Curly, my what unusual names you have.  Are you by any chance familiar with the legend of Paul Bunyan, the lumberjack, and his blue ox Babe?”

Officer Carson interrupted  to say:

“Yes, Mrs. Springinton, of course they are familiar with that, but the fact is, we can’t stay long, I only, that is we only wanted to see that Mary Elizabeth made it home all right.”

“Made it home all right?  Why, whatever could you mean by that?  I could see all of you the whole time right out the kitchen window.”

“Well, anyway, I told Paul Bunyan and Curly here that I would help them go look for Moe and Larry.”

“Oh, I get it, you’re playing a game.  I have time for just one round.  Let’s see, I’ll pretend to be Ingrid Bergman, and you can help me go find Humphrey Bogart and Dooley Wilson, then, after we find them, we’ll all sit by the piano and one of us can play As Time Goes By.  I hope one of you gentlemen can play the piano, because I don’t know As Time Goes By.”

“Mrs. Sprinington, this is not a game, it’s like this, you see they, I mean we–.”

At which point Phil broke in saying:

“You see, Mrs. Springington, it’s very important that we get Officer Carson here down to the station to look for some friends of his, isn’t that right Officer Carson?”

“Yes-I mean no!  It’s very important that I get you down to the station to look for some friends of yours, Curly.  Or am I talking to Babe now?”

“Babe?  Where does Babe come into this?”

“Now, now,  Curly don’t get excited.”

“That’s right Officer Carson.  I mustn’t get excited.  None of us must get excited.  If you want to talk to Babe, you go right ahead.  Paul Bunyan is right here, so Babe must be nearby.  We can search for Babe when we go to look for Moe and Larry.”

“You gentlemen all seem a little confused.”

“No, Mrs. Springington, I’m not confused.  If I could only make you understand without exciting anybody–”

“We’re not confused either Mrs. Springington.  It’s Officer Carson here, I’m sure he’s been working very hard lately, and he probably just needs a rest, and we want to make sure, that is we–”

“Excuse me gentlemen, the telephone is ringing.   See if you can sort this out while I answer….Hello…?  Oh, hello  Mr. Gordon… Merry Christmas to you too…Officer Carson?  Yes, he’s here, just a moment…Officer Carson, Mr. Gordon is on the telephone, he wishes to speak to you.”

“Thanks Mrs. Springinton.  Now we’ll see who’s confused.  Hello, Carson here…Yes, you got a hold of them, all right.  What did they say?…Yes, yes said they would get right on it, good… wanted to make sure who was missing, good… head count…What!…they couldn’t find anyone missing?…all accounted for!  Ask them to check again…you did?…Still all accounted for? …All right.  Thank you Mr. Gordon… I’m afraid I owe you two an apology.  That was Mr. Gordon on the phone, and he just told me that Morning Rise Rest Home is not missing any patients.”

To which Frankie replied:

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“No, you don’t understand.  You see, Mr. Bunyan, I thought that you two were, say, what is your real name anyway?”

“Me?  You mean you know I’m not really Paul Bunyan?”

“Of course I know that.  What do you think I am, mixed up?”

“To tell you the truth Officer Carson, we thought that you thought that we really were Paul Bunyan and Curly Howard.”

“No kidding?  I thought that you two thought that you really were Paul Bunyan, and Curly Howard.  Except I thought that you sometimes thought you were Babe the blue ox.”

“Whatever gave you an idea like that?”

“You mean you don’t know?  It’s the jumpsuits.”

“These hunting coveralls, what about them?”

“Those aren’t hunting coveralls.  Turn around, here it is stenciled right across your back Property of M.R.R.H.’

“We were wondering about this Mister R.H.  Is he some kind of mental case?”

“M.R.R.H. is not a person, it’s a place:  Morning Rise Rest Home, it’s a big place  just a few miles outside of town. They care for people who’ve had nervous breakdowns and who are, well, confused and such.”

“Oh, so you thought that we were..?”

“Yes, and you two thought that I was..?

“Yes.”

Mrs. Springington placed a large tray with an assortment of Christmas cookies on the kithcen table, followed by another tray with four cups of steaming cocoa and said:

“Well gentlemen, now that that’s all settled, as soon as you’ve finished laughing, would you care for some  cookies?   Be careful, I think the cocoa is still very hot . Mary Elizabeth, you may have some too, but only one cookie, it’s getting close to dinner time. Officer Carson, there are some chocolate chip, I believe they are your favorites.  I took them out of the oven only a few moments before you gentlemen came in. ”

“Chocolate chip?  Just out of the oven?  Gentleman, I think you’ll agree that few things in life are more enjoyable than a chocolate chip cookie that is still warm and gooey from the oven.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Say what are your real names anyway?”

“My name is Paul, uh,  Webster, and my friend here is Frankie Elliot.”

“Well, nice to meet the two of you for real.  But I’m surprised you didn’t know what people would think when they saw you wearing those orange jumpsuits.  Every one in town knows about Morning Rise.”

“I just arrived in town yesterday, never been here before that.”

“What about you, Mr. Elliot?”

“I guess in the excitement of welcoming Phil here, and wanting to help him build that snowfamily, I just forgot.”

“Well, no harm done.  But seriously, where did you guys get those things?”

“We found them in the closet of my new house.  I’m from Arizona and don’t have any winter clothes yet, so we put them on. ”

Mrs. Springington said:

“Our next door neighbor, Bill Travers used to work at Morning Rise, and he was allowed to take some of the old jumpsuits.  I believe he and his brother used to wear them went they went up north.   He moved away not long ago.  I wonder if he’s having a nice Christmas?”

“Then you must have known, Mrs. Springington, that Frankie and I weren’t really from Morning Rise.”

“Must I? Why?”

“Because I just moved into the house next door.”

“You did?  Good gracious, welcome to the neighborhood.  I must apologize for not getting over with Arthur, that’s Mr. Springinton, and bidding you a proper welcome, oh it’s just with all the baking, and the preparation, and then the show too.  I do hope you’ll forgive me, Mr. Webster.”

“That’s quite all right Mrs. Springington,  I  understand;  you probably remember how we unmarried men don’t mind if we miss out on those kind of niceties.”

“Yes, I know.  That’s why you need someone to watch after you.”

“That’s very kind of you Mrs. Springinton, but are you saying that you didn’t know that I had moved into the house next door?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“And so you thought that Frankie and I were really patients at Morning Rise who had wandered off somehow?”

“Yes.  I recognized the jump suits, just like Officer Carson.  I do hope you’ll forgive me for jumping to conclusions.”

“That’s all right, Mrs. Springington.  But, you  thought we were really patients from the rest home, and yet you invited us in to have cookies, you even started an extra batch for us, before Officer Carson arrived to make sure it was, well, to make sure we behaved ourselves.  Weren’t you concerned?”

“Of course I was.  That’s why I invited you in.  I saw you two gentlemen out there in the snow,  and I thought, if that was someone in my family, some person I loved, I would want someone to offer them to come in out of the cold and have some cookies and hot cocoa, especially on Christmas Eve.”

“That’s not what I meant.  I meant, weren’t you  concerned for Mary Elizabeth or yourself?”

“Good heavens no.   I  asked Mary Elizabeth to go out only after I saw that  Officer Carson had arrived.  I could tell by the actions of all three of you that there was no cause for alarm.  I just saw two kind and gentle- looking men who appeared to be lost, who needed someone to provide them rest and warmth.  I did what I would do for any neighbor.”

Neighbor?  But I thought you said you didn’t know I had moved into the house next door.”

“I didn’t mean neighbor as in someone who lives near me.  Any person who is affected by my actions is my neighbor.”

“That includes a lot of people in some way or another, Mrs. Springington.”

“Yes, I suppose it does.”

“Don’t you get tired, worrying about how to treat so many people?”

“Good gracious no, I never worry about it.  I just do the right thing.”

To be continued…

Part 6: Cold hands and warm hearts.

We left our friends Phil and Frankie, in the company of Officer Carson and  Mary Elizabeth.  Phil has just realized that Mary Elizabeth is the sick little girl from next door, except she isn’t sick at all, and her mother has not been in a terrible accident.  We rejoin them with Phil feeling foolish, just as they are about to enter the home of Mary Elizabeth’s grandparents:

“Grandma, I brought Officer Carson and these other two nice gentlemen for some Christmas cookies, just like you asked me to.”

“Welcome gentlemen, and Merry Christmas.  Please come in.  Officer Carson, it’s so nice to see you again.  I hope everything is well with you.”

“Yes, Mrs. Springington, I’m fine.  Allow me to introduce my friends here, this is Paul Bunyan, and this is Curly.  Guys, this is Mrs. Springington.”

To which Phil and Frankie replied:

“Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Springington.”

“Nice to meet you, gentlemen.  Paul Bunyan and Curly, my what unusual names you have.  Are you by any chance familiar with the legend of Paul Bunyan, the lumberjack, and his blue ox Babe?”

Officer Carson interrupted  to say:

“Yes, Mrs. Springinton, of course they are familiar with that, but the fact is, we can’t stay long, I only, that is we only wanted to see that Mary Elizabeth made it home all right.”

“Made it home all right?  Why, whatever could you mean by that?  I could see all of you the whole time right out the kitchen window.”

“Well, anyway, I told Paul Bunyan and Curly here that I would help them go look for Moe and Larry.”

“Oh, I get it, you’re playing a game.  I have time for just one round.  Let’s see, I’ll pretend to be Ingrid Bergman, and you can help me go find Humphrey Bogart and Dooley Wilson, then, after we find them, we’ll all sit by the piano and one of us can play As Time Goes By.  I hope one of you gentlemen can play the piano, because I don’t know As Time Goes By.”

“Mrs. Sprinington, this is not a game, it’s like this, you see they, I mean we–.”

At which point Phil broke in saying:

“You see, Mrs. Springington, it’s very important that we get Officer Carson here down to the station to look for some friends of his, isn’t that right Officer Carson?”

“Yes-I mean no!  It’s very important that I get you down to the station to look for some friends of yours, Curly.  Or am I talking to Babe now?”

“Babe?  Where does Babe come into this?”

“Now, now,  Curly don’t get excited.”

“That’s right Officer Carson.  I mustn’t get excited.  None of us must get excited.  If you want to talk to Babe, you go right ahead.  Paul Bunyan is right here, so Babe must be nearby.  We can search for Babe when we go to look for Moe and Larry.”

“You gentlemen all seem a little confused.”

“No, Mrs. Springington, I’m not confused.  If I could only make you understand without exciting anybody–”

“We’re not confused either Mrs. Springington.  It’s Officer Carson here, I’m sure he’s been working very hard lately, and he probably just needs a rest, and we want to make sure, that is we–”

“Excuse me gentlemen, the telephone is ringing.   See if you can sort this out while I answer….Hello…?  Oh, hello  Mr. Gordon… Merry Christmas to you too…Officer Carson?  Yes, he’s here, just a moment…Officer Carson, Mr. Gordon is on the telephone, he wishes to speak to you.”

“Thanks Mrs. Springinton.  Now we’ll see who’s confused.  Hello, Carson here…Yes, you got a hold of them, all right.  What did they say?…Yes, yes said they would get right on it, good… wanted to make sure who was missing, good… head count…What!…they couldn’t find anyone missing?…all accounted for!  Ask them to check again…you did?…Still all accounted for? …All right.  Thank you Mr. Gordon… I’m afraid I owe you two an apology.  That was Mr. Gordon on the phone, and he just told me that Morning Rise Rest Home is not missing any patients.”

To which Frankie replied:

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“No, you don’t understand.  You see, Mr. Bunyan, I thought that you two were, say, what is your real name anyway?”

“Me?  You mean you know I’m not really Paul Bunyan?”

“Of course I know that.  What do you think I am, mixed up?”

“To tell you the truth Officer Carson, we thought that you thought that we really were Paul Bunyan and Curly Howard.”

“No kidding?  I thought that you two thought that you really were Paul Bunyan, and Curly Howard.  Except I thought that you sometimes thought you were Babe the blue ox.”

“Whatever gave you an idea like that?”

“You mean you don’t know?  It’s the jumpsuits.”

“These hunting coveralls, what about them?”

“Those aren’t hunting coveralls.  Turn around, here it is stenciled right across your back Property of M.R.R.H.’

“We were wondering about this Mister R.H.  Is he some kind of mental case?”

“M.R.R.H. is not a person, it’s a place:  Morning Rise Rest Home, it’s a big place  just a few miles outside of town. They care for people who’ve had nervous breakdowns and who are, well, confused and such.”

“Oh, so you thought that we were..?”

“Yes, and you two thought that I was..?

“Yes.”

Mrs. Springington placed a large tray with an assortment of Christmas cookies on the kithcen table, followed by another tray with four cups of steaming cocoa and said:

“Well gentlemen, now that that’s all settled, as soon as you’ve finished laughing, would you care for some  cookies?   Be careful, I think the cocoa is still very hot . Mary Elizabeth, you may have some too, but only one cookie, it’s getting close to dinner time. Officer Carson, there are some chocolate chip, I believe they are your favorites.  I took them out of the oven only a few moments before you gentlemen came in. ”

“Chocolate chip?  Just out of the oven?  Gentleman, I think you’ll agree that few things in life are more enjoyable than a chocolate chip cookie that is still warm and gooey from the oven.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Say what are your real names anyway?”

“My name is Paul, uh,  Webster, and my friend here is Frankie Elliot.”

“Well, nice to meet the two of you for real.  But I’m surprised you didn’t know what people would think when they saw you wearing those orange jumpsuits.  Every one in town knows about Morning Rise.”

“I just arrived in town yesterday, never been here before that.”

“What about you, Mr. Elliot?”

“I guess in the excitement of welcoming Phil here, and wanting to help him build that snowfamily, I just forgot.”

“Well, no harm done.  But seriously, where did you guys get those things?”

“We found them in the closet of my new house.  I’m from Arizona and don’t have any winter clothes yet, so we put them on. ”

Mrs. Springington said:

“Our next door neighbor, Bill Travers used to work at Morning Rise, and he was allowed to take some of the old jumpsuits.  I believe he and his brother used to wear them went they went up north.   He moved away not long ago.  I wonder if he’s having a nice Christmas?”

“Then you must have known, Mrs. Springington, that Frankie and I weren’t really from Morning Rise.”

“Must I? Why?”

“Because I just moved into the house next door.”

“You did?  Good gracious, welcome to the neighborhood.  I must apologize for not getting over with Arthur, that’s Mr. Springinton, and bidding you a proper welcome, oh it’s just with all the baking, and the preparation, and then the show too.  I do hope you’ll forgive me, Mr. Webster.”

“That’s quite all right Mrs. Springington,  I  understand;  you probably remember how we unmarried men don’t mind if we miss out on those kind of niceties.”

“Yes, I know.  That’s why you need someone to watch after you.”

“That’s very kind of you Mrs. Springinton, but are you saying that you didn’t know that I had moved into the house next door?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“And so you thought that Frankie and I were really patients at Morning Rise who had wandered off somehow?”

“Yes.  I recognized the jump suits, just like Officer Carson.  I do hope you’ll forgive me for jumping to conclusions.”

“That’s all right, Mrs. Springington.  But, you  thought we were really patients from the rest home, and yet you invited us in to have cookies, you even started an extra batch for us, before Officer Carson arrived to make sure it was, well, to make sure we behaved ourselves.  Weren’t you concerned?”

“Of course I was.  That’s why I invited you in.  I saw you two gentlemen out there in the snow,  and I thought, if that was someone in my family, some person I loved, I would want someone to offer them to come in out of the cold and have some cookies and hot cocoa, especially on Christmas Eve.”

“That’s not what I meant.  I meant, weren’t you  concerned for Mary Elizabeth or yourself?”

“Good heavens no.   I  asked Mary Elizabeth to go out only after I saw that  Officer Carson had arrived.  I could tell by the actions of all three of you that there was no cause for alarm.  I just saw two kind and gentle- looking men who appeared to be lost, who needed someone to provide them rest and warmth.  I did what I would do for any neighbor.”

Neighbor?  But I thought you said you didn’t know I had moved into the house next door.”

“I didn’t mean neighbor as in someone who lives near me.  Any person who is affected by my actions is my neighbor.”

“That includes a lot of people in some way or another, Mrs. Springington.”

“Yes, I suppose it does.”

“Don’t you get tired, worrying about how to treat so many people?”

“Good gracious no, I never worry about it.  I just do the right thing.”

To be continued…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We left Phil and Frankie conversing with Officer Carson, who is convinced the boys have wandered away from a rest home.  He is attempting to tactfully remind them of this by asking how they got there orange jump suits, to which question Frankie replies:

“We didn’t steal them, if that’s what you mean.”

“Why no  Paul, of course not.  I wasn’t suggesting that you stole them.  It’s obvious that they belong to you and that you, well, you belong in them.”

“Excuse me, Officer Carson, did you just call him Paul?”

“That’s right Curly, I did.”

“You know my name is Curly, and his name is..?”

“His name is Paul Bunyan, that’s right Curly  If you come with me, I think we might be able to find Moe and Larry down at the station having some Christmas cookies.”

“Just a moment please, Officer Carson, I have to talk to Frankie,  I mean Paul.  Excuse me…  Frankie, Frankie, hold on a second, listen to this.  I think that Officer Carson is missing a few brass buttons.”

“What are you talking about Curly?”

” He thinks you’re really Paul Bunyan, and he wants us to help him go find Moe and Larry from the Three Stooges.”

“Gee, this is a tough spot.  Better humor him.  Maybe if we let him think he’s taking us to the station, the other policemen can subdue him without anybody getting hurt.”

“I suppose that’s the best thing to do, but I hate to leave off building this snowfamily.  Still, we can’t let  a policeman wander around in his state of mind.  Look at him,  poor sap.  If it wasn’t for the uniform, he’d look just like any other big, dumb cluck.  Still, in a way, I envy him Frankie.  He’s not jaded, not cynical like so many of the rest of us; just believing in his fantasy world with childish innocence.  That’s what the world has lost, Frankie; that childish innocence.  We’ve got to fight to regain that, and then hold onto it, so we don’t all end up jaded, selfish, destructive, lonely people.”

“Yeah, but there’s got to be some rational ground between being jaded and selfish and walking around believing in fairy-tale characters.  You want to have some innocence, all right, but you can’t be foolish and believe everything, otherwise you end up like Officer Carson there.”

“I suppose you’re right, Frankie.  Still, there’s got to be a way to  believe in truth, to retain at least that much innocence,  without believing in fairy tales.  Poor Officer Carson.  On Christmas Eve too.”

“We’d better let him take us in.  He’s starting to look antsy, like he’s expecting the paddy wagon to come and take him away or something.”

“Okay, here goes.  Oh Officer Carson, Paul Bunyan and I have decided we will help you go and look for Moe and Larry at the station.”

“That’s great, say you’ll love the Christmas cookies too.  The sarge’s wife has been baking all week, and boy are her cookies and treats delicious.”

Unnoticed by Phil, Frankie, or Officer Carson, a young girl had just  joined them.

“Excuse me, Mr. Policeman.”

“Yes, who’s that?”

“It’s me, Mary Elizabeth.”

“Merry Christmas, Mary Elizabeth.  It’s nice to meet you, but, you shouldn’t be here–I mean, you shouldn’t be out in the cold without your mittens.  Does your mother know you’re out here?”

“No,  but my grandmother sent me out to invite you and these other two gentlemen in for some  hot cocoa and Christmas cookies.  She just put a fresh batch in the oven.  And see ,  my mittens are right here in my pocket. Besides, if my fingers get cold, you’ll hold my hands to keep them warm, won’t you?”

“Well, sure I  will Mary Elizabeth, but some other time.  I really think you should be running along now.  These gentlemen and I were just going down to the station–”

“Please Mr. Policeman, my grandmother will be so happy; she saw these two nice gentlemen here building the snowman and so she decided to make an extra batch, just for them, and then she saw you too and wanted to make sure you came into the house so she could wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“Well,   I wouldn’t want to disappoint your grandmother.  Maybe I could walk you back to the house and wish your grandmother a Merry Christmas, and grab a few cookies for myself and these other gentlemen while they wait here. What do you  guys say to that?”

“Mary Elizabeth  seems to really want us to go with her, and besides, her grandmother put in an extra batch just for us.  We would be ungrateful if we didn’t go and accept her kindness and wish her a Merry Christmas.   I think it best that we should escort Mary Elizabeth back to her grandmother’s house while you wait here.  We would be glad to bring you some cookie’s, Officer Carson.”

“No.  As long as you’re going with Mary Elizabeth, I think it best that I escort her too.”

“All right then, that’s settled.”

“Come on, my grandmother’s house is right next door.”

“Excuse me Mary Elizabeth, did you say your grandmother’s house is right next door?”

“Yes, see, we’re almost there already.”

“Well, do you have a sister, or a girl cousin staying with your grandmother?”

“I’ve got lot’s of girl cousins, but I’m the only one staying with my grandmother and grandfather right now.”

“Then who was that sick little girl I saw being carried into the house by a nurse last night?”

“That was no sick little girl, that was me.  I was tired, that’s why my Mommy was carrying me.”

“Your Mommy?  I thought your Mommy was in a terrible accident.”

“No sir, she wasn’t in an accident, she was in a play.”

“A play?  Why was she dressed like a nurse?”

“That’s her character.  Mommy was cast as nurse Mary Lee in the play Christmas in Connecticut.”

“She was cast in the play.  Oh brother, was I ever mistaken!  I feel like an idiot.”

“That’s okay Mister, everybody makes mistakes.  Come on in and have some of Grandma’s Christmas cookies, that will make you feel better.”

To be continued…

If you have read this and like it,  please  remember to “Like”  and “Share” with friends on social media.

Notes on  first version:  As with Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head. I acknowledge a debt to the Golden Age of Radio for inspiration in the development of the story line and characters in this piece.  I would like to specifically mention the outstanding Phil Harris and Alice Faye Show  as the basis of the dynamic between the two friends to whom you have just been introduced.  In recognition of the inspiration provided by the Harris and Fay Show, I have named the characters Phil “Curly”, and Frankie, after Phil “Curly” Harris, as himself, and Frankie Remley, who was a real life musician in Phil’s band, but whose character on the show was played by Elliott Lewis.  I hope you shall meet a character named Alice a little later in the story.

To my lovely wife Sarah, thank you for your ongoing support, patience and encouragement.  Thank you for listening to my thoughts and ramblings.  I am grateful  for your feedback, input, and ideas, all of which I value and treasure.

To listen to or find out more about the great radio shows of the past,    I recommend Sirius/XM Radio Classics channel 148 ,   http://www.radiospirits.com  , or http://GregBellMedia.com.

Part Five:   A Yuletide snowball of confusion.

Phil and Frankie were busily building the snowfamily in earnest, when they had an unexpected visit from a neighbor.  The boys are  afraid someone might think they have stolen the coveralls they are wearing, so Phil has decided to do the talking until they find out what the man wants.  We rejoin our friends just after Phil has greeted the man with a “Merry Christmas.”  and the man replies:

“Good afternoon gentlemen, and Merry Christmas.”

“Nice day for Christmas Eve, isn’t it?  All this snow.”

“Yes.”

“We’re building a snowman.  Actually a whole snowfamily.”

“I see.  It seems that you two may have lost your way.”

“Lost our way?  How do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, shouldn’t you be somewhere else?”

“No.  This is the spot I’ve chosen.  I’m not leaving until we’ve finished building this snowfamily.  They have to be finished tonight, it’s very important!”

“Very well, I didn’t mean to excite you.   Your friend seems to be having trouble rolling that giant snowball.”

“Oh, excuse me.  Hey, Mr. Bunyan, you want some help with that?”

“Sure Babe, I could use a hand.”

“Excuse me, mister, I need to give him a hand.”

“Of course, but first, did you just call him Mr. Bunyan?”

“Sure, you know as in Paul Bunyan.”

“And he called you Babe?”

“Yeah, you know the blue ox.  Of course that’s not my real name, I just let him call me that, you know, to humor him.”

“Come on Curly, this thing’s getting heavy!”

“Now he called you Curly.”

“Yeah, that’s what he usually calls me.”

“Are Moe and Larry around somewhere?”

“Moe and Larry?  Ha ha, that’s a good one, mister.  Listen, I’d  love to stop and chat, but  I really want to get this done.”

“One more thing,  tell me, how did you happen to get here?”

“What here?  We just walked out the front door.”

“Just walked out?”

“Yeah, the front door, same as any other normal person.  Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, no, not at all.  I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t–that is, that there is anything unusual about you walking out the front door.  Oh, look, here comes Officer Carson.  Perhaps he would like to hear all about your snowfamily.  Merry Christmas, Officer Carson.”

“Merry Christmas Mr. Gordon, gentlemen.  Mr. Gordon, I have those toys  we collected at the station all ready, I wonder if you could relay a message to Mrs. Gordon?”

“Certainly, excuse us gentlemen…   I don’t think they can hear us over here.  They seem harmless enough, but they refuse to consider leaving until they finish building their snowfamily.”

“This is a tough spot.  I wonder  how they got out?”

“When I asked them they said that they just walked out the front door.”

“Seriously?  Somebody must have slipped to let that happen.  Listen, you go back to your house and call Morning Rise, tell them two of their guests are missing.    It’s a good thing the Rest Home provides all their patients with those orange jump suits; makes them real easy to spot whenever any of them wander off like those two.   Look at them, poor souls, just out playing in the snow.  I kind of envy them in a way.  You know, when you’ve been a cop for a  few years, you see some pretty unpleasant things; the things people do, I mean, and some days you wonder if the whole world has become nasty and mean and uncaring.  Some days I ask myself where all the innocence has gone.  Seeing those two reminds of what it was like to be a kid, and how nice I thought the world would be when all us kids grew up and changed it.  Instead it seems the world changed us.  Just look at those  happy souls, they haven’t got a clue.  Why if it weren’t for those orange suits, they’d just look like a couple of poor, dumb lugs who never grew up. ”

“Yes, but they are wearing the suits, and it’s no mistake.  You can see the stencils:  Property of M.R.R.H;  Morning Rise Rest Home.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  They’re a couple of patients all right. I’ll stay here and  try to humor them.  Most of the residents there are harmless, just so long as you keep them calm.   I’ll try to talk these two into coming down to the station with me, but I won’t push it if they start to get excited, so  just keep an eye on us.  Try to let me know how soon the wagon will get here to pick them  up.”

“Right.  Be careful though, that one thinks he’s Paul Bunyan, and the other one has a split personality between Babe the blue ox and Curly from the Three Stooges.”

“Thanks for the heads up.  I wouldn’t want him to get a hold of an axe and think I was a tree.   Oh well, the only thing I see that he might go for is that snow shovel stuck in the bank over there. Here I go… Well, you two sure have been busy.  That’s a mighty big snowman you’ve built there.  How many more are you going to make.”

“A Mama and a sister and a brother.”

“Well, that’s very nice, a whole family.  Say, it’s getting cold out here.  Why don’t you fellows come with me to the station.  We’ve got homemade Christmas cookies, and plenty hot to drink.  That will warm us all up.  What do you say?”

“You got ahead.  We’ve got to finish this snowfamily.”

“You’ve got to finish?  Well, then if you can stand the cold, so can I.  I’ll just stay with you.”

“Would you like to give us a hand?”

“I think I’d better keep both hands free.”

“What’s that?  I didn’t hear you.”

“I said I’m not free to help.  Normally I love to build snowmen, same as you, but, I’m on duty, and well you know, the uniform and all.  I wouldn’t want to get it all soaked building a snowman.”

“Sure, sure.  Too bad you don’t have a nice pair of coveralls like these to keep you dry.”

“Yes,  they certainly do look like they keep you dry.   I don’t think I’ve ever seen a set of coveralls like that in a store.  Do you mind telling me where you got them?”

 

Continued in Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part 5b)

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time. (Part One.).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part Two).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer, A Tale of Christmas Time (Part Three).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part 4 rev.)

 

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time. (Part One.).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part Two).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer, A Tale of Christmas Time (Part Three).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part 4 rev.)

Part Five:   A Yuletide snowball of confusion.

Phil and Frankie were busily building the snowfamily in earnest, when they had an unexpected visit from a neighbor.  The boys are  afraid someone might think they have stolen the coveralls they are wearing, so Phil has decided to do the talking until they find out what the man wants.  We rejoin our friends just after Phil has greeted the man with a “Merry Christmas.”  and the man replies:

“Good afternoon gentlemen, and Merry Christmas.”

“Nice day for Christmas Eve, isn’t it?  All this snow.”

“Yes.”

“We’re building a snowman.  Actually a whole snowfamily.”

“I see.  It seems that you two may have lost your way.”

“Lost our way?  How do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, shouldn’t you be somewhere else?”

“No.  This is the spot I’ve chosen.  I’m not leaving until we’ve finished building this snowfamily.  They have to be finished tonight, it’s very important!”

“Very well, I didn’t mean to excite you.   Your friend seems to be having trouble rolling that giant snowball.”

“Oh, excuse me.  Hey, Mr. Bunyan, you want some help with that?”

“Sure Babe, I could use a hand.”

“Excuse me, mister, I need to give him a hand.”

“Of course, but first, did you just call him Mr. Bunyan?”

“Sure, you know as in Paul Bunyan.”

“And he called you Babe?”

“Yeah, you know the blue ox.  Of course that’s not my real name, I just let him call me that, you know, to humor him.”

“Come on Curly, this thing’s getting heavy!”

“Now he called you Curly.”

“Yeah, that’s what he usually calls me.”

“Are Moe and Larry around somewhere?”

“Moe and Larry?  Ha ha, that’s a good one, mister.  Listen, I’d  love to stop and chat, but  I really want to get this done.”

“One more thing,  tell me, how did you happen to get here?”

“What here?  We just walked out the front door.”

“Just walked out?”

“Yeah, the front door, same as any other normal person.  Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, no, not at all.  I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t–that is, that there is anything unusual about you walking out the front door.  Oh, look, here comes Officer Carson.  Perhaps he would like to hear all about your snowfamily.  Merry Christmas, Officer Carson.”

“Merry Christmas Mr. Gordon, gentlemen.  Mr. Gordon, I have those toys  we collected at the station all ready, I wonder if you could relay a message to Mrs. Gordon?”

“Certainly, excuse us gentlemen…   I don’t think they can hear us over here.  They seem harmless enough, but they refuse to consider leaving until they finish building their snowfamily.”

“This is a tough spot.  I wonder  how they got out?”

“When I asked them they said that they just walked out the front door.”

“Seriously?  Somebody must have slipped to let that happen.  Listen, you go back to your house and call Morning Rise, tell them two of their guests are missing.    It’s a good thing the Rest Home provides all their patients with those orange jump suits; makes them real easy to spot whenever any of them wander off like those two.   Look at them, poor souls, just out playing in the snow.  I kind of envy them in a way.  You know, when you’ve been a cop for a  few years, you see some pretty unpleasant things; the things people do, I mean, and some days you wonder if the whole world has become nasty and mean and uncaring.  Some days I ask myself where all the innocence has gone.  Seeing those two reminds of what it was like to be a kid, and how nice I thought the world would be when all us kids grew up and changed it.  Instead it seems the world changed us.  Just look at those  happy souls, they haven’t got a clue.  Why if it weren’t for those orange suits, they’d just look like a couple of poor, dumb lugs who never grew up. ”

“Yes, but they are wearing the suits, and it’s no mistake.  You can see the stencils:  Property of M.R.R.H;  Morning Rise Rest Home.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  They’re a couple of patients all right. I’ll stay here and  try to humor them.  Most of the residents there are harmless, just so long as you keep them calm.   I’ll try to talk these two into coming down to the station with me, but I won’t push it if they start to get excited, so  just keep an eye on us.  Try to let me know how soon the wagon will get here to pick them  up.”

“Right.  Be careful though, that one thinks he’s Paul Bunyan, and the other one has a split personality between Babe the blue ox and Curly from the Three Stooges.”

“Thanks for the heads up.  I wouldn’t want him to get a hold of an axe and think I was a tree.   Oh well, the only thing I see that he might go for is that snow shovel stuck in the bank over there. Here I go… Well, you two sure have been busy.  That’s a mighty big snowman you’ve built there.  How many more are you going to make.”

“A Mama and a sister and a brother.”

“Well, that’s very nice, a whole family.  Say, it’s getting cold out here.  Why don’t you fellows come with me to the station.  We’ve got homemade Christmas cookies, and plenty hot to drink.  That will warm us all up.  What do you say?”

“You got ahead.  We’ve got to finish this snowfamily.”

“You’ve got to finish?  Well, then if you can stand the cold, so can I.  I’ll just stay with you.”

“Would you like to give us a hand?”

“I think I’d better keep both hands free.”

“What’s that?  I didn’t hear you.”

“I said I’m not free to help.  Normally I love to build snowmen, same as you, but, I’m on duty, and well you know, the uniform and all.  I wouldn’t want to get it all soaked building a snowman.”

“Sure, sure.  Too bad you don’t have a nice pair of coveralls like these to keep you dry.”

“Yes,  they certainly do look like they keep you dry.   I don’t think I’ve ever seen a set of coveralls like that in a store.  Do you mind telling me where you got them?”

Frankie, who had been keeping quiet until now replied:

“We didn’t steal them, if that’s what you mean.”

“Why no  Paul, of course not.  I wasn’t suggesting that you stole them.  It’s obvious that they belong to you and that you, well, you belong in them.”

“Excuse me, Officer Carson, did you just call him Paul?”

“That’s right Curly, I did.”

“You know my name is Curly, and his name is..?”

“His name is Paul Bunyan, that’s right Curly  If you come with me, I think we might be able to find Moe and Larry down at the station having some Christmas cookies.”

“Just a moment please, Officer Carson, I have to talk to Frankie,  I mean Paul.  Excuse me…  Frankie, Frankie, hold on a second, listen to this.  I think that Officer Carson is missing a few brass buttons.”

“What are you talking about Curly?”

” He thinks you’re really Paul Bunyan, and he wants us to help him go find Moe and Larry from the Three Stooges.”

“Gee, this is a tough spot.  Better humor him.  Maybe if we let him think he’s taking us to the station, the other policemen can subdue him without anybody getting hurt.”

“I suppose that’s the best thing to do, but I hate to leave off building this snowfamily.  Still, we can’t let  a policeman wander around in his state of mind.  Look at him,  poor sap.  If it wasn’t for the uniform, he’d look just like any other big, dumb cluck.  Still, in a way, I envy him Frankie.  He’s not jaded, not cynical like so many of the rest of us; just believing in his fantasy world with childish innocence.  That’s what the world has lost, Frankie; that childish innocence.  We’ve got to fight to regain that, and then hold onto it, so we don’t all end up jaded, selfish, destructive, lonely people.”

“Yeah, but there’s got to be some rational ground between being jaded and selfish and walking around believing in fairy-tale characters.  You want to have some innocence, all right, but you can’t be foolish and believe everything, otherwise you end up like Officer Carson there.”

“I suppose you’re right, Frankie.  Still, there’s got to be a way to  believe in truth, to retain at least that much innocence,  without believing in fairy tales.  Poor Officer Carson.  On Christmas Eve too.”

“We’d better let him take us in.  He’s starting to look antsy, like he’s expecting the paddy wagon to come and take him away or something.”

“Okay, here goes.  Oh Officer Carson, Paul Bunyan and I have decided we will help you go and look for Moe and Larry at the station.”

“That’s great, say you’ll love the Christmas cookies too.  The sarge’s wife has been baking all week, and boy are her cookies and treats delicious.”

Unnoticed by Phil, Frankie, or Officer Carson, a young girl had just  joined them.

“Excuse me, Mr. Policeman.”

“Yes, who’s that?”

“It’s me, Mary Elizabeth.”

“Merry Christmas, Mary Elizabeth.  It’s nice to meet you, but, you shouldn’t be here–I mean, you shouldn’t be out in the cold without your mittens.  Does your mother know you’re out here?”

“No,  but my grandmother sent me out to invite you and these other two gentlemen in for some  hot cocoa and Christmas cookies.  She just put a fresh batch in the oven.  And see ,  my mittens are right here in my pocket. Besides, if my fingers get cold, you’ll hold my hands to keep them warm, won’t you?”

“Well, sure I  will Mary Elizabeth, but some other time.  I really think you should be running along now.  These gentlemen and I were just going down to the station–”

“Please Mr. Policeman, my grandmother will be so happy; she saw these two nice gentlemen here building the snowman and so she decided to make an extra batch, just for them, and then she saw you too and wanted to make sure you came into the house so she could wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“Well,   I wouldn’t want to disappoint your grandmother.  Maybe I could walk you back to the house and wish your grandmother a Merry Christmas, and grab a few cookies for myself and these other gentlemen while they wait here. What do you  guys say to that?”

“Mary Elizabeth  seems to really want us to go with her, and besides, her grandmother put in an extra batch just for us.  We would be ungrateful if we didn’t go and accept her kindness and wish her a Merry Christmas.   I think it best that we should escort Mary Elizabeth back to her grandmother’s house while you wait here.  We would be glad to bring you some cookie’s, Officer Carson.”

“No.  As long as you’re going with Mary Elizabeth, I think it best that I escort her too.”

“All right then, that’s settled.”

“Come on, my grandmother’s house is right next door.”

“Excuse me Mary Elizabeth, did you say your grandmother’s house is right next door?”

“Yes, see, we’re almost there already.”

“Well, do you have a sister, or a girl cousin staying with your grandmother?”

“I’ve got lot’s of girl cousins, but I’m the only one staying with my grandmother and grandfather right now.”

“Then who was that sick little girl I saw being carried into the house by a nurse last night?”

“That was no sick little girl, that was me.  I was tired, that’s why my Mommy was carrying me.”

“Your Mommy?  I thought your Mommy was in a terrible accident.”

“No sir, she wasn’t in an accident, she was in a play.”

“A play?  Why was she dressed like a nurse?”

“That’s her character.  Mommy was cast as nurse Mary Lee in the play Christmas in Connecticut.”

“She was cast in the play.  Oh brother, was I ever mistaken!  I feel like an idiot.”

“That’s okay Mister, everybody makes mistakes.  Come on in and have some of Grandma’s Christmas cookies, that will make you feel better.”

To be continued…

If you have read this and like it,  please  remember to “Like”  and “Share” with friends on social media.

Notes on  first version:  As with Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head. I acknowledge a debt to the Golden Age of Radio for inspiration in the development of the story line and characters in this piece.  I would like to specifically mention the outstanding Phil Harris and Alice Faye Show  as the basis of the dynamic between the two friends to whom you have just been introduced.  In recognition of the inspiration provided by the Harris and Fay Show, I have named the characters Phil “Curly”, and Frankie, after Phil “Curly” Harris, as himself, and Frankie Remley, who was a real life musician in Phil’s band, but whose character on the show was played by Elliott Lewis.  I hope you shall meet a character named Alice a little later in the story.

To my lovely wife Sarah, thank you for your ongoing support, patience and encouragement.  Thank you for listening to my thoughts and ramblings.  I am grateful  for your feedback, input, and ideas, all of which I value and treasure.

To listen to or find out more about the great radio shows of the past,    I recommend Sirius/XM Radio Classics channel 148 ,   http://www.radiospirits.com  , or http://GregBellMedia.com.

 

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time. (Part One.).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part Two).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer, A Tale of Christmas Time (Part Three).

Click here to read Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part 4 rev.)

 

Part Five:   A Yuletide snowball of confusion.

Phil and Frankie were busily building the snowfamily in earnest, when they had an unexpected visit from a neighbor.  The boys are  afraid someone might think they have stolen the coveralls they are wearing, so Phil has decided to do the talking until they find out what the man wants.  We rejoin our friends just after Phil has greeted the man with a “Merry Christmas.”  and the man replies:

“Good afternoon gentlemen, and Merry Christmas.”

“Nice day for Christmas Eve, isn’t it?  All this snow.”

“Yes.”

“We’re building a snowman.  Actually a whole snowfamily.”

“I see.  It seems that you two may have lost your way.”

“Lost our way?  How do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, shouldn’t you be somewhere else?”

“No.  This is the spot I’ve chosen.  I’m not leaving until we’ve finished building this snowfamily.  They have to be finished tonight, it’s very important!”

“Very well, I didn’t mean to excite you.   Your friend seems to be having trouble rolling that giant snowball.”

“Oh, excuse me.  Hey, Mr. Bunyan, you want some help with that?”

“Sure Babe, I could use a hand.”

“Excuse me, mister, I need to give him a hand.”

“Of course, but first, did you just call him Mr. Bunyan?”

“Sure, you know as in Paul Bunyan.”

“And he called you Babe?”

“Yeah, you know the blue ox.  Of course that’s not my real name, I just let him call me that, you know, to humor him.”

“Come on Curly, this thing’s getting heavy!”

“Now he called you Curly.”

“Yeah, that’s what he usually calls me.”

“Are Moe and Larry around somewhere?”

“Moe and Larry?  Ha ha, that’s a good one, mister.  Listen, I’d  love to stop and chat, but  I really want to get this done.”

“One more thing,  tell me, how did you happen to get here?”

“What here?  We just walked out the front door.”

“Just walked out?”

“Yeah, the front door, same as any other normal person.  Is that so hard to believe?”

“No, no, not at all.  I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t–that is, that there is anything unusual about you walking out the front door.  Oh, look, here comes Officer Carson.  Perhaps he would like to hear all about your snowfamily.  Merry Christmas, Officer Carson.”

“Merry Christmas Mr. Gordon, gentlemen.  Mr. Gordon, I have those toys  we collected at the station all ready, I wonder if you could relay a message to Mrs. Gordon?”

“Certainly, excuse us gentlemen…   I don’t think they can hear us over here.  They seem harmless enough, but they refuse to consider leaving until they finish building their snowfamily.”

“This is a tough spot.  I wonder  how they got out?”

“When I asked them they said that they just walked out the front door.”

“Seriously?  Somebody must have slipped to let that happen.  Listen, you go back to your house and call Morning Rise, tell them two of their guests are missing.    It’s a good thing the Rest Home provides all their patients with those orange jump suits; makes them real easy to spot whenever any of them wander off like those two.   Look at them, poor souls, just out playing in the snow.  I kind of envy them in a way.  You know, when you’ve been a cop for a  few years, you see some pretty unpleasant things; the things people do, I mean, and some days you wonder if the whole world has become nasty and mean and uncaring.  Some days I ask myself where all the innocence has gone.  Seeing those two reminds of what it was like to be a kid, and how nice I thought the world would be when all us kids grew up and changed it.  Instead it seems the world changed us.  Just look at those  happy souls, they haven’t got a clue.  Why if it weren’t for those orange suits, they’d just look like a couple of poor, dumb lugs who never grew up. ”

“Yes, but they are wearing the suits, and it’s no mistake.  You can see the stencils:  Property of M.R.R.H;  Morning Rise Rest Home.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  They’re a couple of patients all right. I’ll stay here and  try to humor them.  Most of the residents there are harmless, just so long as you keep them calm.   I’ll try to talk these two into coming down to the station with me, but I won’t push it if they start to get excited, so  just keep an eye on us.  Try to let me know how soon the wagon will get here to pick them  up.”

“Right.  Be careful though, that one thinks he’s Paul Bunyan, and the other one has a split personality between Babe the blue ox and Curly from the Three Stooges.”

“Thanks for the heads up.  I wouldn’t want him to get a hold of an axe and think I was a tree.   Oh well, the only thing I see that he might go for is that snow shovel stuck in the bank over there. Here I go… Well, you two sure have been busy.  That’s a mighty big snowman you’ve built there.  How many more are you going to make.”

“A Mama and a sister and a brother.”

“Well, that’s very nice, a whole family.  Say, it’s getting cold out here.  Why don’t you fellows come with me to the station.  We’ve got homemade Christmas cookies, and plenty hot to drink.  That will warm us all up.  What do you say?”

“You got ahead.  We’ve got to finish this snowfamily.”

“You’ve got to finish?  Well, then if you can stand the cold, so can I.  I’ll just stay with you.”

“Would you like to give us a hand?”

“I think I’d better keep both hands free.”

“What’s that?  I didn’t hear you.”

“I said I’m not free to help.  Normally I love to build snowmen, same as you, but, I’m on duty, and well you know, the uniform and all.  I wouldn’t want to get it all soaked building a snowman.”

“Sure, sure.  Too bad you don’t have a nice pair of coveralls like these to keep you dry.”

“Yes,  they certainly do look like they keep you dry.   I don’t think I’ve ever seen a set of coveralls like that in a store.  Do you mind telling me where you got them?”

Frankie, who had been keeping quiet until now replied:

“We didn’t steal them, if that’s what you mean.”

“Why no  Paul, of course not.  I wasn’t suggesting that you stole them.  It’s obvious that they belong to you and that you, well, you belong in them.”

“Excuse me, Officer Carson, did you just call him Paul?”

“That’s right Curly, I did.”

“You know my name is Curly, and his name is..?”

“His name is Paul Bunyan, that’s right Curly  If you come with me, I think we might be able to find Moe and Larry down at the station having some Christmas cookies.”

“Just a moment please, Officer Carson, I have to talk to Frankie,  I mean Paul.  Excuse me…  Frankie, Frankie, hold on a second, listen to this.  I think that Officer Carson is missing a few brass buttons.”

“What are you talking about Curly?”

” He thinks you’re really Paul Bunyan, and he wants us to help him go find Moe and Larry from the Three Stooges.”

“Gee, this is a tough spot.  Better humor him.  Maybe if we let him think he’s taking us to the station, the other policemen can subdue him without anybody getting hurt.”

“I suppose that’s the best thing to do, but I hate to leave off building this snowfamily.  Still, we can’t let  a policeman wander around in his state of mind.  Look at him,  poor sap.  If it wasn’t for the uniform, he’d look just like any other big, dumb cluck.  Still, in a way, I envy him Frankie.  He’s not jaded, not cynical like so many of the rest of us; just believing in his fantasy world with childish innocence.  That’s what the world has lost, Frankie; that childish innocence.  We’ve got to fight to regain that, and then hold onto it, so we don’t all end up jaded, selfish, destructive, lonely people.”

“Yeah, but there’s got to be some rational ground between being jaded and selfish and walking around believing in fairy-tale characters.  You want to have some innocence, all right, but you can’t be foolish and believe everything, otherwise you end up like Officer Carson there.”

“I suppose you’re right, Frankie.  Still, there’s got to be a way to  believe in truth, to retain at least that much innocence,  without believing in fairy tales.  Poor Officer Carson.  On Christmas Eve too.”

“We’d better let him take us in.  He’s starting to look antsy, like he’s expecting the paddy wagon to come and take him away or something.”

“Okay, here goes.  Oh Officer Carson, Paul Bunyan and I have decided we will help you go and look for Moe and Larry at the station.”

“That’s great, say you’ll love the Christmas cookies too.  The sarge’s wife has been baking all week, and boy are her cookies and treats delicious.”

Unnoticed by Phil, Frankie, or Officer Carson, a young girl had just  joined them.

“Excuse me, Mr. Policeman.”

“Yes, who’s that?”

“It’s me, Mary Elizabeth.”

“Merry Christmas, Mary Elizabeth.  It’s nice to meet you, but, you shouldn’t be here–I mean, you shouldn’t be out in the cold without your mittens.  Does your mother know you’re out here?”

“No,  but my grandmother sent me out to invite you and these other two gentlemen in for some  hot cocoa and Christmas cookies.  She just put a fresh batch in the oven.  And see ,  my mittens are right here in my pocket. Besides, if my fingers get cold, you’ll hold my hands to keep them warm, won’t you?”

“Well, sure I  will Mary Elizabeth, but some other time.  I really think you should be running along now.  These gentlemen and I were just going down to the station–”

“Please Mr. Policeman, my grandmother will be so happy; she saw these two nice gentlemen here building the snowman and so she decided to make an extra batch, just for them, and then she saw you too and wanted to make sure you came into the house so she could wish you a Merry Christmas.”

“Well,   I wouldn’t want to disappoint your grandmother.  Maybe I could walk you back to the house and wish your grandmother a Merry Christmas, and grab a few cookies for myself and these other gentlemen while they wait here. What do you  guys say to that?”

“Mary Elizabeth  seems to really want us to go with her, and besides, her grandmother put in an extra batch just for us.  We would be ungrateful if we didn’t go and accept her kindness and wish her a Merry Christmas.   I think it best that we should escort Mary Elizabeth back to her grandmother’s house while you wait here.  We would be glad to bring you some cookie’s, Officer Carson.”

“No.  As long as you’re going with Mary Elizabeth, I think it best that I escort her too.”

“All right then, that’s settled.”

“Come on, my grandmother’s house is right next door.”

“Excuse me Mary Elizabeth, did you say your grandmother’s house is right next door?”

“Yes, see, we’re almost there already.”

“Well, do you have a sister, or a girl cousin staying with your grandmother?”

“I’ve got lot’s of girl cousins, but I’m the only one staying with my grandmother and grandfather right now.”

“Then who was that sick little girl I saw being carried into the house by a nurse last night?”

“That was no sick little girl, that was me.  I was tired, that’s why my Mommy was carrying me.”

“Your Mommy?  I thought your Mommy was in a terrible accident.”

“No sir, she wasn’t in an accident, she was in a play.”

“A play?  Why was she dressed like a nurse?”

“That’s her character.  Mommy was cast as nurse Mary Lee in the play Christmas in Connecticut.”

“She was cast in the play.  Oh brother, was I ever mistaken!  I feel like an idiot.”

“That’s okay Mister, everybody makes mistakes.  Come on in and have some of Grandma’s Christmas cookies, that will make you feel better.”

 

To be continued…

If you have read this and like it,  please  remember to “Like”  and “Share” with friends on social media.

Notes on  first version:  As with Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head. I acknowledge a debt to the Golden Age of Radio for inspiration in the development of the story line and characters in this piece.  I would like to specifically mention the outstanding Phil Harris and Alice Faye Show  as the basis of the dynamic between the two friends to whom you have just been introduced.  In recognition of the inspiration provided by the Harris and Fay Show, I have named the characters Phil “Curly”, and Frankie, after Phil “Curly” Harris, as himself, and Frankie Remley, who was a real life musician in Phil’s band, but whose character on the show was played by Elliott Lewis.  I hope you shall meet a character named Alice a little later in the story.

To my lovely wife Sarah, thank you for your ongoing support, patience and encouragement.  Thank you for listening to my thoughts and ramblings.  I am grateful  for your feedback, input, and ideas, all of which I value and treasure.

To listen to or find out more about the great radio shows of the past,    I recommend Sirius/XM Radio Classics channel 148 ,   http://www.radiospirits.com  , or http://GregBellMedia.com.