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Ski bums and Sagbutts– A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 5fb)

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We left Phil and Frankie in Mr. Gordon’s cabin.  While Mr. Gordon dozed after being buried in a small avalanche, the boys  carried on a conversation that turned to love.  The tail -end of their talk went something like this as Phil asked:

“I want you to take a good look at me.   Go ahead.  Take your time.  Look at my face.  Do you think that in the eyes of a fine, beautiful, intelligent woman like Alice I would look like a dope?”

“Curly, that’s asking an awful lot, even as your best friend.”

“Let me have it Frankie.”

“Honestly?”

“I can take it.”

“All right,  you asked for it. . .”

We now resume our tale,   with Phil awaiting Frankie’s pronouncement:

“No.”

“What a relief!”

“Not  a dope exactly.”

“Huh?”

“Of course you’re not exactly Cary Grant.”

“Hold on a minute. I didn’t ask you if I looked like Cary Grant.”

“Or Robert Taylor, or Tyrone Power.”

“That’s aiming awful high Frankie.  I just want to make sure you think I stand a chance-”

“Or Edward Everett Horton.”

“Edward Everett Horton?   Wait a minute, are you saying I’m not as handsome a man as Edward Everett Horton?”

“You have to admit,  he’s a great actor.”

“I know he’s a great actor.  He’s one of the funniest guys on the screen.  And do you know why he’s so funny?  Because his character is usually some sort of confused, not-too-bright, busy body,  which in anybody’s book is a type of dope.”

“But you have to admit, he’s loveable.”

“Well, maybe, in a sorry sort of way.  I mean, some of those faces he makes, like in Top Hat, right before Helen Broderick socks him in the eye.”

Edward Everett Horton about to get socked in the eye by Helen Broderick in the RKO motion picture Top Hat.

“Ouch.   What was that line Fred Astaire’s character used to describe the shiner she gave him?  It was something to do with eggs.”

“Eggs?  What eggs?  The line was that his eye looked “Like a sunrise by Maxfield Parrish.”

“Yeah, that’s it;  reminds me of eggs: sunny-side up.”

“Sometimes I wonder how your brain works.   Does any thought ever go from Point A to Point B, or are you always taking the scenic route by way of Kalamazoo, Chattanooga,  Anaheim, Azusa and Cucamonga ?”

“I guess it’s just my artistic temperament.  You ought to know about that, Curly.  Speaking of Top Hat, Erik Rhodes plays a dope, and he is handsome.”

“Sure he’s handsome, but his characters are always some ridiculous caricature.  It’s a good thing I’m not bald, or you’d start comparing me to Eric Blore.”

“What’s wrong with that?  I have an uncle who looks like Eric Blore.  He’s a great guy.  Does a wonderful impression of Eric Blore too.”

Three very funny men: Erik Rhodes as Beddini, Edward Everett Horton as Horace Hardwick (with “shiner” just visible on left eye), and Eric Blore as Bates in the RKO motion picture Top Hat.

“You’ve got someone in your family that looks like everyone.  Remind me never to go see a Frankenstein movie with you because you’ll probably have a cousin or someone who looks just like Karloff.”

“With or without the make-up?”

“Cut it out, will you?  All I asked you was a simple question, and right away you have to start comparing me to Hollywood leading men.  Robert Taylor,  Tyrone Power, Cary Grant.  What chance does a guy have?”

“Cary Grant can look like a dope.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Sure, remember in Bringing Up Baby, he played that dopey scientist named Bone or something.”

“Yeah, except Bone wasn’t really his name.  That’s just what Katherine Hepburn’s character told her aunt.”

“Sure, sure, but that’s not the point.  The point is that even a handsome leading man like Cary Grant can look like and act like a dope.”

“You’re right Frankie.”

“All they had to do was throw a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles on him, and there you have it: instant dope!”

Cary Grant holding the phone and the bone in the RKO motion picture Bringing Up Baby.

“Yeah.  With horn-rimmed spectacles, even Cary Grant can look like a dope.  Wait a minute Frankie.  I don’t wear spectacles, horn-rimmed or otherwise.”

“That’s okay Curly, you don’t need spectacles to look like a dope.”

“I don’t? ”

“No, you’re a natural.”

“A natural?  Really?”

“Sure.  If you don’t believe me, just look in that mirror over there.”

“Okay–hey, wait a minute, what’s going on here?  I thought you were my best pal, now you’ve got me talked into wanting to look like a dope.

“Not just any dope Curly; a Cary Grant-ish dope.”

“Well, I suppose that’s all right then.  Still, I don’t think it’s too much for a guy to ask  his best pal to give him some encouragement about being worthy of the girl of his dreams.”

“You told me to be honest.”

“Yeah, yeah, I suppose I asked for it. ”

“Hey Curly, cheer up will you?  You can’t be serious about this.  You’re talented, smart,  and handsome; and  you have one of those hearts of gold you’re always talking about.  You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Really Frankie, no kidding?”

“No kidding.  I was just pulling your leg about being a natural.  It’s ridiculous to think of you, of all people, being insecure.   On top of everything else, you’ve made a name for yourself, and you’ve got plenty of dough  Most guys would give their eye teeth to trade places with you.”

“Gosh Frankie, I never thought of that.”

“Of course you didn’t, Curly, because as if looks, brains, talent, wealth and fame weren’t enough, you’re also humble.  I guess that’s why it’s so easy for me to rib you along so far.  If you could see yourself the way other people do, you wouldn’t need any encouragement from me.  So stop worrying.  Alice has it for you just as bad as you have it for her.”

“She does?  Has she told you so?”

“She doesn’t have to tell me.  I can see it in her eyes every time  you two are together.  Plus, if that weren’t enough  Olivia has dropped some hints too.”

“Olivia?  Hints about Alice’s feelings for me?  What did she tell you?”

“I can’t remember her exact words, but it was something pretty good.  Sounded kind of definite.”

“Thank you Ol’ Professor Kyser.  That was most informative.  “Pretty good” and “Kind of definite” he says.

“I tell you Curly, stop worrying about this.  Any girl would be glad to have you interested in her.”

“I’m not interested in any girl but  Alice.”

“You might not be interested in them, but they’ll be interested in you. What will Alice think?”

“What will Alice think?  What will Alice think about what?”

“About the other women.”

“Other women?  What other women?  Frankie, what are you going on about?  Who said anything about other women?”

“I did Curly, for your own sake.  You got me thinking about this and  I suddenly realized that a fellow like you has got to take care; to make sure he doesn’t get himself entangled.”

“Entangled?  Who’s gonna get entangled?  I told you Frankie, I’m done chasing.”

“You don’t have to do the chasing.  They’ll do it for you.”

“They?  Who they?”

“The other women.”

There was a knock at the door of the cabin.

“Who could that be?  I’ll get it.”  Phil rejoined the thread of their conversation as he walked to the door.  “Now stop going on about other women, will you?  I tell you there are no other women in my life, and there aren’t going to be any.  Not even one.”  He opened the door.  “Oh, Hello, uh,  Miss?

 

To be continued. . .

Cover painting: Sunrise by Maxfield Parrish.

Click here to read Ski bums and sagbutts: A madcap frolic in the snow. (Part 1fb).

Click here to read Ski bums and Sagbutts: A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 2fb).

Ski bums and Sagbutts: A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 3fb).

Ski bums and Sagbutts– A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 4fb).

 

Copyright 2017 r.k.morris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ski Bums and Sagbutts- A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Parts 1 to 4)

Note:  These four segments were originally published separately in a series.  They are brought together here to be read, if desired, as a single piece.

 

Part One:   Strange sounds in the snow.

As we look across a snowy winter landscape, we see miles of hills and evergreen trees, with nary a house or other building in sight.  The sky above is thick with grey clouds, but no snow is falling at the moment, while a bright glow shining through the clouds to the west shows us it is late afternoon.  Back on the ground, we see two men wearing snowshoes trudging along a trail in the valley between the hills.  On a closer look we discover that these two are our friends Phil Wellbright and Frankie Elliot.  Let’s join them as they take in the brisk, clean, northern air.

“What did I tell you Curly, isn’t this great?”

“Sure, it’s wonderful.  I didn’t know there were winter resorts like this in the Midwest.”

“Well, it’s no Sun Valley, but it’s a way for folks  around here to get out and enjoy the snow without having to travel half way across the country.  I figure we can hit the slopes first thing tomorrow.”

“That’ll be fine. There’s just one thing I don’t understand.”

“What’s that?”

“What I am doing here?”

“You’re snow-shoeing.”

“Frankie, you know  what I mean.  I want to know why it was so important for you to get me up here with you.”

“What’s the matter, don’t you like it here?”

“Sure, like I said, it’s wonderful.   But I was content back at my new home, living next door to  A-  to the Springingtons.  I wasn’t even settled in yet, and you come along and drag me up into the woods.”

“Well Curly, I got this offer kind of suddenly, and so I had to rush right up here.”

“Sure, you had to, but what about me?  I’m not working here.”

“You’re my best friend Curly, so I wanted you here to share my good fortune.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Frankie, but, well, to tell you the truth, I was just getting to know Alice, and , well, I just sort of miss her.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.  I know, it probably sounds kind of silly, I mean, we only met  a month ago or so.”

“It doesn’t sound silly Curly.”

“No?”

“No, not at all.”

“Thanks Frankie.  I’m glad you understand.”

“Nothing silly about a guy missing a nice girl like Alice.  Especially if that guy happens to be kind of sweet on her.”

“That’s me all right.  ”

“Truth is, I miss Olivia.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, seeing her again was like having a light go on in my life.”

“Did you think you were going to miss her before you came up here?”

“Yes, I did.  That’s why I wanted you to come with me, so I wouldn’t get lonely.”

“Did you ever stop to think I might miss Alice?”

“As a matter of fact, that thought did cross my mind, but I figured we could both miss them together, that way it wouldn’t be so bad for either one of us.”

“Yeah, but Frankie, I didn’t have to leave.  You’re the one who got the job at the resort.  I could be spending time with Alice right now.”

“I’m sorry Curly.  I just didn’t want to leave Olivia behind and come up here all by myself.  If you ever have to leave Alice behind to go on a trip, I’ll do the same for you someday, I swear I will.”

“Okay Frankie.  I guess it’s a worthy cause to help my best pal get along with out his girl for a few days, even if it does mean I have to be away from the girl I–from the girl I’m sweet on in the meantime.”

“Thanks Curly.  You know, just talking about Olivia makes missing her seem less, you know, less of a burden.”

“You’re right Frankie.  Talking about Alice has kind of eased the pangs for me too.”

Both men sighed at  exactly the same time.

Frankie said dreamily “Women.”

“Ain’t they something?”

“The best thing since sliced bread.”

“Better.”

“Best thing since a shave and a haircut.”

“You mean with the steaming hot towel wrapped around your face?”

“Yeah, and that great smelling after shave that only the barbers seem to have.”

“Yeah, even better than that… with your cheeks feeling so soft and smooth–”

“Like a baby’s bottom after a warm bath.”

“Yeah.”  Phil absently raised a hand and stroked his cheek with the back of his fingers.  There was an audible scraping as his knuckles  rubbed across his whiskers. He dropped his hand suddenly and seemed to stir out of a dream.   ” I think I’ll shave when I get back to the room.”

“Yeah.  Come to think of it, the last time I saw a baby’s bottom was when I was babysitting for my sisters kid when he was just a little thing, and that wasn’t for any bath.”

“Well, what’d you expect?  A baby’s got to be changed.”

“Poor little fellow.  He had a terrible rash after that night.”

“What did you do to the kid?”

“That’s just it, I didn’t do anything.  Every time the kid cried I thought he was hungry so I just kept offering him more of that mush babies eat.  He’d just look at it and turn away and cry some more.  It was very confusing.”

“What finally tipped you off?”

“I was holding a spoonful of mush in front of his mouth,  and  balancing him on my knee, and somehow, something just didn’t feel right.”

“Stop right there.  I get the picture.”

“Poor little guy.  I got the feeling as I looked into his eye that he wanted to reach out and punch me in the nose for leaving him in so much discomfort for so long.”

“I bet your nephew and you are great pals now.”

“What Johnny?  Sure he and I are like that.  He doesn’t hold a grudge against Ol’ Uncle Frankie.  Funny thing though, whenever I walk into a room he stands up, real sudden like.”

“Cut it out Frankie, you’re just foolin’ with me.  I have to admit though that changing babies diapers, well, that’s probably the only thing that kind of, you know, makes me a little scared of marriage and fatherhood.”

“Marriage and fatherhood?  Curly, you have got it bad.”

“Yeah, Frankie.  I’ve got it bad, and that’s good.”

“Does Alice know?”

“No.  I don’t want to frighten her.  We’ve known each other such a short time.”

“This is  kind of sudden news for me.   I hope I haven’t made any unseemly remarks, but if I do, you  know, based on our past association,  just let me know, would you?  I wish you all the best, Curly.”

“Thanks Frankie.  Don’t make it sound like I’ve jumped off a cliff and left you behind or something.  What about that light that’s gone on in your life?”

“What, Olivia?  She’s a wonderful girl, Curly.  I’m lucky just to have met up with her again, but I think she would never really take a guy like me seriously.”

“What do you think, she’s just playing you?  Just having fun?”

“I don’t think that Curly.   It just seems too good to be true.  All I know is when I’m with Olivia, it’s the best feeling I’ve ever known.  I guess I’m just afraid to think about the future because this all seems like a dream and I’m going to wake up at any moment.”

“Now it’s my turn to ask you if you’ve told Olivia how you feel.”

“What, and scare her off?”

“A fine couple of Romeo’s we are, too timid to press our suits.”

“What’s that?’

“Just something I read or heard somewhere.  It means we’re afraid to tell the girls we’re in love with that we’re in love with them.”

” What do we do?”

“I guess we just have to be patient and see how things work out, and in the meantime, do our best to keep the girls interested till we can tell them our feelings without, you know, without it being too much of a shock.”

“I suppose that’s a good plan.”

“Hey Frankie, speaking of plans, how much further till we get back?”

“According to the trail map, we should be coming to a turn off any time.”

“Which way?”

“To the left takes us down to the lodge. ”

“What about that turn off we passed a little while ago?”

“I didn’t notice it.  I guess I must have had my mind on something else.”

“Uh -huh,  fine time to be daydreaming.  What do we do, turn back?”

“The trail is curving to the left anyway.  Let’s follow it around this bend and see where that leads us.”

“Lead on, Meriwether.”  They walked in silence for a few moments till Phil said, “Sure is quiet out here.”

“Yeah, not a house, or a building anywhere in sight .”

“Look at the trail, Frankie .  Looks like nobody has been out this way in quite some time.”

“Yeah,  ours are the only tracks.  Of course we did get a fresh snow last night.  That would have covered any tracks from yesterday.

“That’s right.  Probably there were a lot of tracks here before that snowfall last night.”

“Yeah, after all this is the main trail.  Probably lot’s of people walk this way all the time.”

“Of course.  You’re sure this is the main trail, aren’t you Frankie?”

“Sure I’m sure.  At least, I was sure.  Anyway, It’s not like we’re actually lost.”

“No, not actually.”

“I mean, even if we don’t know where we are right now, we know the lodge is just over that way.”

“Probably just a mile or so away, don’t you think?”

“Sure a mile or so, maybe. ”

“Sure is quiet though.”

A sudden sound stopped the boys in their tracks.  It was a loud sound, unfamiliar and somewhat like a deep musical note blown on some fantastic kind of horn.

Phil looked at Frankie, “What was that?”

“I don’t know.  Sounded like the mating call of a moose.”

“Do you have moose around here?”

“No.  I was just kidding.  There are no moose around here.  At least I don’t think there are.  Anyway, what if it was?  Aren’t mooses vegetarians?”

“Yeah, that’s right, they are.  So what do you think it was?”

“I don’t know.”

“There it goes again.  Say, what’s bigger than a moose?  That sure is a loud sound.”

“I don’t know.  I think it’s coming from up ahead,  just around this bend.”

“Maybe it’s one of those wooly mammoth things.”

“You mean those things like hairy elephants?  Aren’t those extinct?”

“Yeah, that’s right.  I guess I’m just letting my imagination run away with me.  Besides the people at the resort would  have noticed a thing like a big hairy elephant roaming around in the woods.  I mean, what are the odds that you and I could  arrive last night and out of a clear blue, without even looking for it, be the first one’s to discover a giant animal like that, trumpeting and stomping around here in the woods?  The mere thought of such a thing is ridiculous.”

“You’re right Curly, that would be ridiculous; our first day here and we discover a mammoth roaming the woods.  Somebody else would have seen him first.  Anyway aren’t elephants vegetarians too?”

“Yeah, but did you ever see  one of those Tarzan movies and the way the elephants pick up the poachers or the ivory hunters or whoever they’re angry at with their trunks and just kind of toss them around like they were a child’s doll?”

“You don’t suppose it thinks we’re ivory hunters, do you Curly?”

“I don’t know.”

“I mean, we don’t look like a couple of poachers or ivory hunters, do we?”

“Not to me we don’t, but maybe the mammoth has never seen a Tarzan movie.  Frankie look!”

“A cabin!”

“Do you think that sound came from in there?”

As if in answer to Phil’s question, the sound repeated.

“I guess that answers that.”

“What do you suppose it could be?  That cabins too small for a mammoth.”

“I don’t know Frankie.  I guess we’d better go find out.”

“Might be some kind of wild animal that’s hurt in there, calling to its mate.”

“Or its pack.”

“Its pack?  You mean as in wolf pack?  Curly, I don’t think there are any wolves around here either.”

“Yeah, and you also thought mammoths were extinct, but we still haven’t figured out what could be making that noise.”

“Do you think maybe it’s a small mammoth?”

“You mean like a baby, calling for its mother?”

“That’s it Curly, like a baby calling to its mother.”

“If it is, then for our sake I hope the mother is nowhere nearby. ”

“Gosh, you’re right!  I don’t see anything.  I think we’d hear her crashing through the trees if she were charging us.”

“We’re almost there Frankie.”

“What if it’s an injured wolf?  I’ve heard  wild animals that are injured and feel cornered can be the most dangerous.”

“We’ll soon find out.  Duck down below these windows.  We’re almost to the door.”

“Curly, I think I saw those trees move!  Wait… wait… I guess it was just the wind.”

“Keep your voice low Frankie.  Don’t want the wolf, or the mammoth–”

“Don’t forget the moose!”

All right.  The wolf, or the mammoth, or the moose, or whatever  is in there, to hear us.  My hand is on the door.  It doesn’t seem to be locked.  I’m going to gently push it open.  Stay to the side and give whatever frightening beast is in there plenty of room to charge out.”

“Right. ”

“Ready? ”

“I can’t look.  Tell me when  to run.”

“You’ve  got your eyes closed Frankie?  Okay.  Here goes.  The door is swinging open and I can see… I can see… Mr. Gordon!”

“Mr. Gordon?”

To be continued. . .

Part Two: Snow way to treat a friend

We left Phil and Frankie standing at the open doorway of a remote cabin.  They had been tracking the source of a strange sound, which they supposed to be made by some frightening animal, but were surprised to find themselves facing not a wild beast, but Phil’s neighbor,  Mr. Gordon.  With equal surprise, Mr. Gordon’s first words as he sees the boys are:

“Mr. Wellbright, Mr. Elliott!  How did you two find me?”

“We weren’t looking for you, Mr. Gordon.  We didn’t even know you were up here.”

“That’s right.  We kept hearing a strange sound, and we followed it here to this cabin.”

“You must be referring to my sagbutt.”

“Gosh no, Mr. Gordon  I wasn’t referring to you at all.  Like I said, we heard this strange sound–. ”

“Let me try again.  This is my sagbutt.  I was practicing on it.  That is the sound  you and Mr. Elliott must have heard.”

“Oh, that’s a- a sag butt, did you say?  It looks sort of like an over -grown trombone.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s one way to describe it.  The sagbutt is a predecessor to the modern trombone so favored by todays jazz musicians.  You gentlemen might as well take off your snow shoes and  come in.  Be careful when you close the door though, there is a great deal of snow on the roof and we don’t want to cause an avalanche.  I plan on going out later to rake it off.”

” Look at that, must be at least ten inches of snow up there.”  Said Phil.

“I’ll bet that would make quite a pile if it all came down at once.”  Frankie added.

“Let me save you the trouble Mr. Gordon.”  Phil said “I’m already dressed up warm, with boots and hat and coat and gloves.  You just take it easy and let me do this for you.”

“Thank you,  Mr. Wellbright, that’s very kind.  The rake is right there beside the door.”

“Is there another one of those things around, Mr. Gordon?  I’d be glad to help.”

“I’m afraid not, Mr.  Elliott, but thanks anyway.”

“While Phil’s doing that, do you mind if I take a look at that musical instrument of yours?”

“Certainly, help yourself.”  Then stepping into the open doorway he addressed Phil again.  “I certainly appreciate this, Mr. Wellbright.  .  Just try to drag the snow so it doesn’t fall in front of the door.”

“I’ll start down at the other end and work my way back, then I’ll have a clear area on the roof to drag the snow to the side before I bring it down.”

“Good idea.”

“Mr. Gordon, have you been playing the sagbutt for long?”  Frankie asked.

“No, Mr.  Elliott, I’m still just a neophyte.”

“Oh, uh huh.  Mind if I give it a try?”

“Be my guest.”

After the note subsided, Phil said, “You’ll probably think this is pretty stupid, but when we heard you blowing on that thing, we thought I was some kind of strange animal.”

“Yes.  That is,  compared to the sound Mr. Elliott was able to produce, I’m sure mine must have sounded rather like a wounded water buffalo.”

Frankie responded, “Don’t be ridiculous,  Mr. Gordon.  Everyone knows there aren’t any water buffalo around here.”

“We were thinking more of a love-sick moose.”  Said Phil.

“Or a mammoth.”  Frankie added.

“A mammoth?  Of course.  A mammoth is much more plausible.  What brings you gentlemen here to the north country?”

“Frankie got a job playing at the resort.  He talked me into coming with him.  What about you Mr. Gordon?  What brings you up here?”

“Mrs. Gordon suggested, and I agreed with her, that I could use a little rest, and some peace and quiet.”

“You couldn’t have picked a better place for it.  What could disturb you in a remote place like this?”

“I was just thinking the same thing myself.”

“You ought to get plenty of rest and peace, especially now that we’re here.”

“Now that you’re here?  What did you have in mind?”

At this point perhaps I should pause the narrative to inform those readers who may be unfamiliar with the prior history of Phil and Frankie and Mr. Gordon, of what happened on the very first day they met, and also to give a brief summary to all readers of certain events that had transpired since the day of their first meeting.  It was on Christmas Eve, that Phil and Frankie first met Mr. Gordon, and on that day  Phil accidentally knocked Mr. Gordon unconscious with a snow shovel.  Mr. Gordon regained consciousness in no more than a moment, and immediately forgave Phil for his unintended action; such was the character of Mr, Gordon.  Although he could forgive, it was more difficult for Mr, Gordon to forget.  For one thing there was the lump on his head that lasted several days and made putting on a hat something of a delicate procedure until well after the New Year.  More than that though, there were Phil’s efforts, usually accompanied by Frankie, to do something kind for Mr. Gordon, that never seemed to go as intended.

First there was the Pumpkin Pie incident, in which Phil and Frankie eagerly insisted on delivering the pie Mrs. Springinton had baked for the Gordon’s the day after Christmas.  The two friends paraded across the street, locked arm in arm, carefully holding the pie up in front of them, singing Deck the Halls.  Mrs Gordon, having been alerted by a telephone call from Mrs. Springinton, was waiting at the front door, which she swung open as Phil and Frankie reached the porch.  Still shoulder to shoulder and still singing, the two men marched across the threshold and tripped over each others feet.  Walking from the kitchen to greet his guests, Mr. Gordon had the briefest of moments to glimpse  the pie, looking like a miniature harvest moon, sailing toward him.  Always one to look on the bright side, he was at least able to honestly say that it was delicious.

Then there was the day that Phil and Frankie helped the Gordon’s take down their Christmas tree, and no one has yet been able to figure out how the trunk of the tree came to be fully inserted into Mr. Gordon’s  coat, entering at the bottom and coming out at the collar.  The tinsel icicles hardly bothered him, nor did the occasional cranberry or piece of popcorn.  What  made the experience most unbearable for Mr, Gordon were the dry and scratchy evergreen needles that fell off the tree by the hundreds and seemed to work their way into every stitch of clothes he was wearing, including even his undergarments, where they caused him a great deal of discomfort; and he too polite a host, or too modest, to excuse himself to change clothes until his guests had completed their mission and bade farewell.

The final incident, and one that I am happy to say ended without injury thanks to the abundant layer of snow on the ground, happened when the boys were helping Mr. Gordon take down the garlands  around the outside of the house and Frankie forgot one of the cardinal rules of moving a ladder, which is  to always look up first.  Indeed, the only thing that finally alerted Frankie to Mr. Gordons presence was a sound, not unlike the wail of a wounded water buffalo strangely enough, followed by a glimpse out of the corner of his eye of  Mr. Gordon coming to earth.

With all of this, you can readily understand how Mr. Gordon began to feel like a hunted animal as far as Phil and Frankie were concerned.  He knew the two men meant him no harm, but he began to feel decidedly unsafe in their presence.  Mrs. Gordon could see the toll this was having on her husband, and gave him the sage advice to remove himself to a locale far from Phil and Frankie,  with the hope that their zeal for doing her husband good deeds would abate in his absence.

You can also doubtless understand why Mr, Gordon sounded as though he were being pursued when he first saw Phil and Frankie at his door, and why now, he seems to be nervous at their presence.  Imagine yourself in his shoes, or slippers, balancing the conflicting emotions of dread that something terrible must be about to happen to you, and relief that something terrible hasn’t just happened to you.  Such a strain would surely unnerve the stoutest of us.

To get back to the story, Mr. Gordon had just asked Phil what he had in mind, to which Phil replied:

“I mean doing these little chores for you, so you can relax, take it easy.  Let us do the work.”

“Of course.  I’m sorry if I seem a bit nervous, I hope I haven’t behaved inhospitably.  It’s just that seeing you two gentlemen here came as quite a surprise.”

“That’s okay Mr. Gordon,  Frankie and I were surprised to see you too.  Hey,  this snow is starting to pile up.  Have you got one of those snow shovels around here?  I’ll clear a walkway when I’m finished.”

“Thank you Mr.  Wellbright.  Yes, there is a snow shovel, I believe it’s around by the back door .”

“Okay.  You sure you trust me with it?”

“What’s that?  Oh yes.”  Mr. Gordon rubbed his head.

“I still can’t tell you enough how sorry I am about that, Mr. Gordon.”

“It’s quiet all right.  You needn’t apologize any further, but, just to ease your fear of doing me bodily injury, I’ll stay in here with Mr. Elliott, where it’s safe.”

Then, just at that moment, a most singular thing occurred.  I suppose if Frankie and Mr. Gordon had been a couple of highly trained acrobats, or perhaps two skilled precision dancers it would have taken them hours of rehearsal and many  a run through to accomplish what they were about to do, but they did it and did it well on the very first try.   Frankie definitely had the lesser demanding of the two roles.  For his part, he started with his back to Mr. Gordon, holding the sagbutt downward, then, as he started to play, he turned, took a step toward the door and Mr. Gordon, raised the instrument, and extended the slide as he blew a note.  While Frankie was executing this movement, Mr. Gordon turned with impeccable timing, and, leading with his chin into the room, was greeted with stupendous effect by the extending slide of the sagbutt.  It is not easy to say which of the following difficult elements Mr, Gordon performed with the greatest degree of excellence.  Was it the explosive recoil  as he reeled from the glancing blow of the sagbutt to his chin, the seemingly effortless way in which he went from upright to head -over- heels in backwards flight, the velocity he achieved while in the air, the distance he travelled, or the landing in a mound of snow beneath the eaves directly in front of the open door?  I suppose if one were a judge at the Winter Olympic Games, one would have to give him all perfect scores, although if one were looking for any deficiency, one would have to admit that his landing did result in a great burst of snow being thrown up, something, I believe, for which the judges usually take at least a minor deduction.

In any event, Mr. Gordon sat there with a sort of dumbfounded expression on his face, like an athlete who’s Olympic dream has just come true, but doesn’t know what to make of it yet.  His reverie lasted only a moment before the deafening roar of the crowd, in the form a Frankie’s frantic shouting  roused him to semi-awareness:

“Mr. Gordon! I’m sorry!”

Mr. Gordon looked at Frankie, or, from Mr. Gordon’s perspective, looked at two of Frankie.  “What, what happened?”

“Let me help you.”  Frankie rushed forward and in his flight through the doorway instinctively grabbed the door handle and pulled it forcefully closed behind him.  There followed in a moment a rumbling sound, as of a great weight letting loose and shifting above…

To be continued…

Part Three:  Suspicious Behavior of Swiss Yodelers (from Switzerland)

We left Mr. Gordon dazed and sitting in a mound of snow outside the cabin.  You may recall that Frankie  rushed from the house and pulled the door solidly closed behind him, which action was followed instantaneously by a loud rumbling from above, much like the sound made by one of those avalanches that cause an entire ski party to scatter and seek cover.  Frankie, being for the moment a party of one, could not have scattered  unless he were suddenly endowed with the knowledge of the  Eastern mystics, who, according to the brilliant P.G. Wodehouse, are said to have possessed the ability to cause their physical bodies to disassemble in one place and to reassemble at will in another place.  Being neither Eastern, nor mystic, Frankie was compelled to remain in status quo with regards to his physical body, and that may have been a good thing, because, being under the eaves of the roof, he was in a place of shelter.   Mr. Gordon, however, was not so fortunate in his choice of real estate, for he had landed directly below the very edge of the roof, and so, in the direct path of the coming  onslaught.  Had an Eastern mystic been near at hand, Mr. Gordon could perhaps have implored the kind fellow to use his ability tout suite  for his, Mr. Gordon’s, benefit.  Nothing spectacular, like transporting him to Calcutta or Bombay, or even to Capistrano with the swallows, just a minor disappearance and re-manifestation,  of only ten feet or so in almost any direction would have done the trick.  Eastern mystics, always a rare breed, are especially scarce in the American north woods, particularly  in mid-winter and so it is that one was not nearby in this case,  I suppose a cowboy, skillful with the lasso could have helped Mr.Gordon out of this predicament, as could have a tumbling gymnast or an agile sumo wrestler, but the landscape was conspicuously devoid of such  individuals at this moment, and so Mr. Gordon was left to endure the coming ordeal with none to offer him physical aid, and only Phil and Frankie to suffer with him in spirit.

The ordeal itself lasted only a moment, and indeed the whole thing was over in much less time than it has taken you to read this far, but I have lingered here, at the outset, in an attempt to set the stage and create the right sense of pathos for dear Mr. Gordon and his unhappy predicament.

Let us resume the narrative of events with Frankie, just as he has pulled the door of the cabin closed.  He heard the sound above his head as he turned from the door to resume his rush to Mr. Gordon.   Their eyes met for an instant, then Frankie saw Mr. Gordon look up, perhaps snapped out of his dizziness by the magnitude of the rumblings so near above his head;  and as he looked he seemed to shrink back into his pile of snow, like a groundhog which has seen its shadow.  As Frankie stepped forward  he was stopped in his tracks by a sudden solid curtain of  snow that descended from above, and for a moment made everything go white before his eyes.  Frankie reeled backward from the avalanche, so sudden and violent was it’s appearance, then, when it was over, he found himself gazing at the same pile of snow from which Mr. Gordon had been looking at him, and upon which there was an even larger pile of snow, but of Mr. Gordon there was not a trace.

“Mr. Gordon?  Mr. Gordon?!”

There was a muffled response of several unintelligible syllables, and the pile of snow appeared to heave slightly.

“Mr. Gordon, are you there?  Is that you under there?

Phil had by this time arrived, running from the side of the house.  “Of course it’s him under there Frankie, who did you think it would be? Come on, give me a hand digging him out before he suffocates.”

“Do you hear that Mr. Gordon?  We’ll have you out in a jiffy.  Just sight tight and don’t worry about a thing.  Frankie and Curly are here, and you’re going to be all right.  Just leave everything to us.”

“There he is Frankie.  There, wipe that snow off his nose, I’ll clear a space around his mouth.  There, at least he can breathe now.”

“Yeah, that’s got his head clear.  How do you feel Mr. Gordon?”

“What?  How do I feel?”  Mr. Gordon looked at Frankie for several seconds before seeming to recognize him.  “Mr. Elliott, is that you?”

“I’m right here, Mr.Gordon.  You’re going to be all right.”

“I seem to remember you playing on the sagbutt.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Then I turned and you were there blowing a note and something hit me on the chin.”

“I’m awful sorry about that, Mr. Gordon.  You’re all right now. There was just this little avalanche off the roof right there, it sort of fell right on top of you when I,  that is, well, when I pulled the door closed.”

“You caused the avalanche too?”

“Yeah, I guess I pulled the door a little too hard.”

“Where is Mr. Wellbright?”

“Here I am, Mr. Gordon.”

“Mr. Wellbright, I’d like to move my right arm, can you dig it out please?”

“You’re right arm?  Sure Mr. Gordon, we’ll have your arm out in no time.  Come on Frankie, give me a hand.  There, there it is Mr.Gordon, can you move it all right.”

“Yes, yes I can move it.  Now, could you dig out my left arm please?”

“Your left arm Mr. Gordon?  Of course, here, we’ll have that out in another minute or two. . .  There, there it is.  How does that feel?”

“That’s fine.  I can move both of my hands and arms, and all of my fingers.  I don’t think I can stand up yet.  Mr.  Elliott, would you lean a little closer to me please?”

“Sure Mr. Gordon, anything you say.”

“Thank you, that’s it.  I just want to get both my hands around your neck and squeeze as hard as I can before you get another chance to kill me!”

“Mr. Gordon!  Mr. Gordon, let go of Frankie.  That’s it, let go.  Now, take a deep breath, stay calm, don’t exert yourself, just take it easy.  We’ll have you out of there in not time.  You need to lie down and rest inside.  Let us finish digging you out of this snow.  Just relax.”

“Yes, thank you Mr. Wellbright.  I’m sorry Mr. Elliott I don’t know what came over me just then.  I suppose it was just some primitive impulse for self -preservation.”

“That’s okay Mr.Gordon.  Like Curly said, you just need to lie down and relax.  You’ve been through a trying experience.  Strangling me won’t make it any better.”

“Won’t it?  I mean, of course it won’t.  I am sorry Mr. Elliott.  I feel quite ashamed of myself.  I hope you will forgive me.”

“Sure Mr. Gordon I forgive you.  Besides, you had every right to lose your temper.  Now just take a deep breath and let Curly and I get you out of that snow and into your cabin.”

Unnoticed by our trio, a pair of men on skis had approached.

“Helmut?”  One of them called, ” Helmut, is that you?”

“Helmet? ”  Phil replied as he turned to face the newcomers.  “I don’t have a helmet.  Mr. Gordon, do you have a helmet?”

“No, but I could have used one a few minutes ago.”

“Sorry bud, no helmets here.”

“Sorry,”  The man  said, “I was mistaken.  I thought you were our friend, our friend Helmut.  He is staying in a cabin near this place.  We came  here to meet him.”

“Your friend Helmut isn’t here.  My name’s Phil Wellbright, my pal here is Frankie Elliott, and our host  is Mr. Gordon.   We had a little accident and we’re just getting Mr. Gordon inside.   Would you two mind giving us a hand?”

The two strangers exchanged glances, then the one who had done all the talking said  “Ya, we will help.  But then we must be going.  We must find Helmut.”

The two men stepped out of their bindings and stuck theirs skis into the snow,   “Your friend here was caught in the avalanche?”

“Yes, from the roof.  It wasn’t that bad really, but he had just suffered a fall before that.”

“You should be more careful.  Always you Americans are a careless people.  You will find yourself getting hurt that way.”

“I suppose we should be more careful.  Thanks for the warning.  I take it you and your friend  are not Americans.  Mind telling us  your business here?”

“Our business?  We are . . . entertainers, hired below, at the lodge.”

“At the lodge? ”  Frankie said, “Me too, I’m a musician.  Are you guys in the orchestra too?”

“Ni- no, we are not in the orchestra.  We are yodelers.”

“Yodelers?”

“Ya, Swiss yodelers.  From Switzerland.”

“From Switzerland.”

“That is right.  Allow me to introduce myself.  To my friends I am known simply as Conrad.  Hans  and I have come here to find our friend Helmut to rehearse together.  Helmut, he is also a yodeler.”

“A Swiss yodeler.”  Hans added.

“Yes, Hans is right.  Helmut is also from Switzerland, like us.”

“You two seem awful keen to make sure we know you are from Switzerland.  What’s up with that?”

Conrad  answered. “Oh, well, it is just that we grow tired of the way you Americans confuse our country with Sweden.  So many times when we say we are Swiss, and our kind American hosts say “Ah, Sweden, ”  and we have to correct them and say “No, not Sweden, Switzerland. ”

Hans added. “Sweden is on the Baltic Sea, and borders Norway and Finland.  Switzerland has no coast, but is situated among the Alps, and is surrounded by  many  neighbors:  France, Italy, Austria and of course, Germany.”

“That’s a rough neighborhood to be in these days.   What do you guys think about what  Hitler has done to Poland?”

“How the Fuhrer choses to deal with the Slavic peoples to the east is not a concern for Switzerland.”  Conrad responded.

“Nor for the British or French.  Or the Americans.”  Hans said.

“Hans!”

“Well, thanks for the geography lesson, and thanks for helping us get Mr. Gordon inside.  We won’t detain you from your rehearsal any longer.”

“I hope your friend recovers from his accident.  Please be more careful, all of you, to avoid danger.   Good day.”

Phil closed the door behind Conrad and Hans, and watched through the window as they put on their skis and glided away.

“There’s something suspicious about those guys Curly.”

“You noticed it too?”

“Yeah.   They sure went out of their way to convince us that they were Swiss yodelers, and not Swedish yodelers.  Well I’ve got news for Conrad and Hans, and Helmut too, wherever he is:  we might  look like just a couple of dumb Americans, but I guess we look too dumb for their good, because even a couple of guys like us know there’s no such thing as a Swedish yodeler.”

To be continued . . .

Part Four: Friendly or Faux?  Unravelling the Suspicious Behavior of the  Swiss Yodelers

We left Phil and Frankie discussing the suspicious behavior of the  Swiss yodelers, who claimed they wanted to make sure they were not confused by Americans as being from Sweden, an occurrence, they indicated, had happened to them regularly.  After these men  departed from Mr. Gordon’s cabin,  Frankie put his finger on the nub with the brilliant observation,  “There’s no such thing as a Swedish yodeler.”

To which Phil replied:

“Are you sure about that?”

“I was hoping you would know.”

“I suppose not.  They don’t have Alps in Sweden.  All the yodelers I  ever heard of came from the Alps. ”

“There you have it. No Alps.  That proves it.”

“That they’re not Swiss?”

“That they’re not yodelers.  I knew there was something phony about that Hans, the way he kept glancing around, real cagey like.”

“Frankie, I don’t know if the fact that they’re yodelers or not is important, you could be right, and I don’t want to discourage you, but I was thinking that they were lying to us when they kept saying they were from Switzerland.  I don’t think those guys are Swiss at all.”

“Not Swiss?  What makes you say that, Curly?”

“Something about the way Conrad said the Führer, almost like he was in awe.”

“The Führer, who’s that?”

“Frankie, don’t you pay attention to anything going on in the world.  The Führer is Hitler.  You do know who Hitler is, don’t you ?”

“Sure Curly, I know.  I guess I don’t pay that much attention because it seems like we have enough troubles of our own right here without getting mixed up in the problems of the rest of the world.  You have to agree with that, don’t you?”

“Yes, Frankie, and no.  Sometimes the problems of the rest of the world get so big that they become our problems too, and then we have to get mixed up in it, whether we want to or not.  So I figure each of us should pay attention,  stay informed, and know what’s going on in the world.”

“You sound serious Curly.  What is going on in the world?”

“You asked me Frankie, just remember that.  I think we’re going to end up in another war.”

“I thought the World War ended all that.”

“So did a lot of other people.  I guess that was just a case of mass wishful thinking.  They’re at war right now over in Europe.”

“Things have quieted down since last fall, haven’t they?”

“No, Frankie, it’s just that there isn’t much shooting going on right now  since Hitler and  Stalin took over Poland.  Not only that, but look at the past several years:  Italy attacked Ethiopia. Japan  invaded China. Spain had a civil war.  Things aren’t quiet at all.  Sure, we don’t feel it here much yet; we have a big country and we’re separated by two big oceans from most of the world.  We also have good neighbors like Canada and Mexico, instead of being surrounded by fascists and communists, so things seem pretty calm to a lot of people here;  but the fact is, if you look east or west across those two big oceans, the world is at war again and as far as I can tell, it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

“I didn’t know it was that bad.  I’m kind of sorry I asked.”

“Don’t be, Frankie.  I think a lot of us Americans want peace so bad that we won’t even acknowledge there’s a war going on unless it hits us in our own back yard.”

“So what do you figure all this has  to do with those two guys posing as Swiss yodelers?”

“I don’t know Frankie.  While we may not be at war with anyone,  a lot of countries are at war, and some of them may already think of us as enemies.  That’s why I can’t get over why a man who is supposedly Swiss would speak of the Führer in such a reverent tone.   I think it was all he could do to keep from clicking his heels and coming to attention as he said it.”

“So what do you think the truth is about those guys?”

“I almost hate to say it Frankie, but I believe those guys are Nazis.”

“Nazis?”

“Yep. Nazi agents.  That’s the only thing that could explain their behavior.”

“Gee, and I thought they were posing as yodelers to get a job.”

“Frankie, why would anyone go to so much trouble and then pretend to be a yodeler of all things?”

“If you don’t have a job and you’re not a citizen, they deport you.”

“They do?”

“Yeah, it happened to my second cousin Cyril.  He came over from England one summer to stay with my aunt and uncle –”

“The story of your cousin–”

“Second cousin.”

“All right, your second cousin, Cyril will have to wait.  Right now let’s go in the kitchen and see if can find something  warm to fix for Mr. Gordon.”

“I don’t think he needs it now, he’s asleep.”

“So he is.  Out like a light.  Frankie,  put another log on the fire, would you, while I cover him up with this blanket. . . There, nice and cozy.”

“Look at him, like a big  puppy curling up with his blanket.”

“Yeah.  Petey does the same thing with his blanket.  He gets that same look too, like he’s smiling.  He almost looks sort of, well, cute, doesn’t he, Frankie?”

“I guess so, as long as I  think of him as a big puppy.  You know, he kind of reminds me of Regalo in a way too.”

“What, your little Chihuahua?  How’s that?”

“His eyebrows.”

“His eyebrows? What about them?”

“I just noticed the resemblance, how  Regalo does the same thing sometimes, raises his eyebrows just enough to give him those wrinkles in his forehead.  Sort of makes him look intelligent.”

“Yeah , I suppose it does.”

“If only people could really be as intelligent as dogs look.”

“Yeah–hey, that reminds me, what was that crack you said a while ago about you and I looking like just a couple of dumb Americans?”

“Well, what about it?  I was just trying to make a point.”

“Count me out next time you make a point like that.  When it comes to dumb looks, speak for yourself .”

“All right, all right.  It’s just that you’re my best friend and I didn’t want you to feel left out.”

“Left out, he says.”

“I hear you. Take it easy would you? Calm down.”

“I am calm.”

“No need to get  testy.”

“Who’s testy?”

” You are Curly.  Just listen to you.  Do you want to wake Mr. Gordon?”

“All right.  I’m calm.  I’m quiet.  And I am not testy.  All I was trying to say was I don’t look that dumb.”

“How do you know?”

“How do I know?  What do you mean how to I know?  I’ll tell you how I know.  Among other things, Alice says my appearance is indicative of a deep and perceptive soul well-suited to the pursuit and expression of my artistic abilities.”

“Alice said that?”

“Yes.”

“She actually used the word indicative in a sentence?”

“Well, maybe not that exact word.  I forget just how she put it but I know what she meant.”

“And what Alice meant was that you’re no dope.”

“That’s right.”

“And she doesn’t think you look like one either.”

“Right again.”

“Then  you’ve got nothing to worry about, Curly;  your worries are over.  Alice is stuck on you sure as Mr. Gordon was stuck in that pile of snow.”

“How do you know?”

“Women are blind to the faults of the men they love, Curly.  Didn’t you know that?”

“They are?”

‘Sure.  So when Alice says you don’t look like a dope, well, there you have it.”

“Yeah, you’re right Frankie.  This is great news!  I can hardly wait to see Alice again so I can tell her how I feel about her.  Wait, wait, I just thought of something.”

“What’s that?”

“What if she is just one of those protective types, you know, who feels sorry for a guy and wants to make him feel better about himself, but it’s nothing personal, you know, no emotion other than  pity.”

“I never thought of that  Curly, you’ve got something there.”

“Frankie, I gotta ask you something, and you gotta tell me the truth as my best friend, even if you think it will hurt me.  Do you promise?”

“Okay Curly, I promise.  What is it?”

“I want you to take a good look at me.   Go ahead.  Take your time.  Look at my face.  Do you think that in the eyes of a fine, beautiful, intelligent woman like Alice I would look like a dope?”

“Curly, that’s asking an awful lot, even as your best friend.”

“Let me have it Frankie.”

“Honestly?”

“I can take it.”

“All right,  you asked for it. . .”

To be continued. . .

Copyright 2017 r.k.morris

 

Ski bums and Sagbutts– A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 4fb)

Part Four: Friendly or Faux?  Unravelling the Suspicious Behavior of the  Swiss Yodelers

We left Phil and Frankie discussing the suspicious behavior of the  Swiss yodelers, who claimed they wanted to make sure they were not confused by Americans as being from Sweden, an occurrence, they indicated, had happened to them regularly.  After these men  departed from Mr. Gordon’s cabin,  Frankie put his finger on the nub with the brilliant observation,  “There’s no such thing as a Swedish yodeler.”

To which Phil replied:

“Are you sure about that?”

“I was hoping you would know.”

“I suppose not.  They don’t have Alps in Sweden.  All the yodelers I  ever heard of came from the Alps. ”

“There you have it. No Alps.  That proves it.”

“That they’re not Swiss?”

“That they’re not yodelers.  I knew there was something phony about that Hans, the way he kept glancing around, real cagey like.”

“Frankie, I don’t know if the fact that they’re yodelers or not is important, you could be right, and I don’t want to discourage you, but I was thinking that they were lying to us when they kept saying they were from Switzerland.  I don’t think those guys are Swiss at all.”

“Not Swiss?  What makes you say that, Curly?”

“Something about the way Conrad said the Führer, almost like he was in awe.”

“The Führer, who’s that?”

“Frankie, don’t you pay attention to anything going on in the world.  The Führer is Hitler.  You do know who Hitler is, don’t you ?”

“Sure Curly, I know.  I guess I don’t pay that much attention because it seems like we have enough troubles of our own right here without getting mixed up in the problems of the rest of the world.  You have to agree with that, don’t you?”

“Yes, Frankie, and no.  Sometimes the problems of the rest of the world get so big that they become our problems too, and then we have to get mixed up in it, whether we want to or not.  So I figure each of us should pay attention,  stay informed, and know what’s going on in the world.”

“You sound serious Curly.  What is going on in the world?”

“You asked me Frankie, just remember that.  I think we’re going to end up in another war.”

“I thought the World War ended all that.”

“So did a lot of other people.  I guess that was just a case of mass wishful thinking.  They’re at war right now over in Europe.”

“Things have quieted down since last fall, haven’t they?”

“No, Frankie, it’s just that there isn’t much shooting going on right now  since Hitler and  Stalin took over Poland.  Not only that, but look at the past several years:  Italy attacked Ethiopia. Japan  invaded China. Spain had a civil war.  Things aren’t quiet at all.  Sure, we don’t feel it here much yet; we have a big country and we’re separated by two big oceans from most of the world.  We also have good neighbors like Canada and Mexico, instead of being surrounded by fascists and communists, so things seem pretty calm to a lot of people here;  but the fact is, if you look east or west across those two big oceans, the world is at war again and as far as I can tell, it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

“I didn’t know it was that bad.  I’m kind of sorry I asked.”

“Don’t be, Frankie.  I think a lot of us Americans want peace so bad that we won’t even acknowledge there’s a war going on unless it hits us in our own back yard.”

“So what do you figure all this has  to do with those two guys posing as Swiss yodelers?”

“I don’t know Frankie.  While we may not be at war with anyone,  a lot of countries are at war, and some of them may already think of us as enemies.  That’s why I can’t get over why a man who is supposedly Swiss would speak of the Führer in such a reverent tone.   I think it was all he could do to keep from clicking his heels and coming to attention as he said it.”

“So what do you think the truth is about those guys?”

“I almost hate to say it Frankie, but I believe those guys are Nazis.”

“Nazis?”

“Yep. Nazi agents.  That’s the only thing that could explain their behavior.”

“Gee, and I thought they were posing as yodelers to get a job.”

“Frankie, why would anyone go to so much trouble and then pretend to be a yodeler of all things?”

“If you don’t have a job and you’re not a citizen, they deport you.”

“They do?”

“Yeah, it happened to my second cousin Cyril.  He came over from England one summer to stay with my aunt and uncle –”

“The story of your cousin–”

“Second cousin.”

“All right, your second cousin, Cyril will have to wait.  Right now let’s go in the kitchen and see if can find something  warm to fix for Mr. Gordon.”

“I don’t think he needs it now, he’s asleep.”

“So he is.  Out like a light.  Frankie,  put another log on the fire, would you, while I cover him up with this blanket. . . There, nice and cozy.”

“Look at him, like a big  puppy curling up with his blanket.”

“Yeah.  Petey does the same thing with his blanket.  He gets that same look too, like he’s smiling.  He almost looks sort of, well, cute, doesn’t he, Frankie?”

“I guess so, as long as I  think of him as a big puppy.  You know, he kind of reminds me of Regalo in a way too.”

“What, your little Chihuahua?  How’s that?”

“His eyebrows.”

“His eyebrows? What about them?”

“I just noticed the resemblance, how  Regalo does the same thing sometimes, raises his eyebrows just enough to give him those wrinkles in his forehead.  Sort of makes him look intelligent.”

“Yeah , I suppose it does.”

“If only people could really be as intelligent as dogs look.”

“Yeah–hey, that reminds me, what was that crack you said a while ago about you and I looking like just a couple of dumb Americans?”

“Well, what about it?  I was just trying to make a point.”

“Count me out next time you make a point like that.  When it comes to dumb looks, speak for yourself .”

“All right, all right.  It’s just that you’re my best friend and I didn’t want you to feel left out.”

“Left out, he says.”

“I hear you. Take it easy would you? Calm down.”

“I am calm.”

“No need to get  testy.”

“Who’s testy?”

” You are Curly.  Just listen to you.  Do you want to wake Mr. Gordon?”

“All right.  I’m calm.  I’m quiet.  And I am not testy.  All I was trying to say was I don’t look that dumb.”

“How do you know?”

“How do I know?  What do you mean how to I know?  I’ll tell you how I know.  Among other things, Alice says my appearance is indicative of a deep and perceptive soul well-suited to the pursuit and expression of my artistic abilities.”

“Alice said that?”

“Yes.”

“She actually used the word indicative in a sentence?”

“Well, maybe not that exact word.  I forget just how she put it but I know what she meant.”

“And what Alice meant was that you’re no dope.”

“That’s right.”

“And she doesn’t think you look like one either.”

“Right again.”

“Then  you’ve got nothing to worry about, Curly;  your worries are over.  Alice is stuck on you sure as Mr. Gordon was stuck in that pile of snow.”

“How do you know?”

“Women are blind to the faults of the men they love, Curly.  Didn’t you know that?”

“They are?”

‘Sure.  So when Alice says you don’t look like a dope, well, there you have it.”

“Yeah, you’re right Frankie.  This is great news!  I can hardly wait to see Alice again so I can tell her how I feel about her.  Wait, wait, I just thought of something.”

“What’s that?”

“What if she is just one of those protective types, you know, who feels sorry for a guy and wants to make him feel better about himself, but it’s nothing personal, you know, no emotion other than  pity.”

“I never thought of that  Curly, you’ve got something there.”

“Frankie, I gotta ask you something, and you gotta tell me the truth as my best friend, even if you think it will hurt me.  Do you promise?”

“Okay Curly, I promise.  What is it?”

“I want you to take a good look at me.   Go ahead.  Take your time.  Look at my face.  Do you think that in the eyes of a fine, beautiful, intelligent woman like Alice I would look like a dope?”

“Curly, that’s asking an awful lot, even as your best friend.”

“Let me have it Frankie.”

“Honestly?”

“I can take it.”

“All right,  you asked for it. . .”

 

To be continued. . .

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Ski bums and Sagbutts: A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 3fb)

Part Three:  Suspicious Behavior of Swiss Yodelers (from Switzerland)

We left Mr. Gordon dazed and sitting in a mound of snow outside the cabin.  You may recall that Frankie  rushed from the house and pulled the door solidly closed behind him, which action was followed instantaneously by a loud rumbling from above, much like the sound made by one of those avalanches that cause an entire ski party to scatter and seek cover.  Frankie, being for the moment a party of one, could not have scattered  unless he were suddenly endowed with the knowledge of the  Eastern mystics, who, according to the brilliant P.G. Wodehouse, are said to have possessed the ability to cause their physical bodies to disassemble in one place and to reassemble at will in another place.  Being neither Eastern, nor mystic, Frankie was compelled to remain in status quo with regards to his physical body, and that may have been a good thing, because, being under the eaves of the roof, he was in a place of shelter.   Mr. Gordon, however, was not so fortunate in his choice of real estate, for he had landed directly below the very edge of the roof, and so, in the direct path of the coming  onslaught.  Had an Eastern mystic been near at hand, Mr. Gordon could perhaps have implored the kind fellow to use his ability tout suite  for his, Mr. Gordon’s, benefit.  Nothing spectacular, like transporting him to Calcutta or Bombay, or even to Capistrano with the swallows, just a minor disappearance and re-manifestation,  of only ten feet or so in almost any direction would have done the trick.  Eastern mystics, always a rare breed, are especially scarce in the American north woods, particularly  in mid-winter and so it is that one was not nearby in this case,  I suppose a cowboy, skillful with the lasso could have helped Mr.Gordon out of this predicament, as could have a tumbling gymnast or an agile sumo wrestler, but the landscape was conspicuously devoid of such  individuals at this moment, and so Mr. Gordon was left to endure the coming ordeal with none to offer him physical aid, and only Phil and Frankie to suffer with him in spirit.

The ordeal itself lasted only a moment, and indeed the whole thing was over in much less time than it has taken you to read this far, but I have lingered here, at the outset, in an attempt to set the stage and create the right sense of pathos for dear Mr. Gordon and his unhappy predicament.

Let us resume the narrative of events with Frankie, just as he has pulled the door of the cabin closed.  He heard the sound above his head as he turned from the door to resume his rush to Mr. Gordon.   Their eyes met for an instant, then Frankie saw Mr. Gordon look up, perhaps snapped out of his dizziness by the magnitude of the rumblings so near above his head;  and as he looked he seemed to shrink back into his pile of snow, like a groundhog which has seen its shadow.  As Frankie stepped forward  he was stopped in his tracks by a sudden solid curtain of  snow that descended from above, and for a moment made everything go white before his eyes.  Frankie reeled backward from the avalanche, so sudden and violent was it’s appearance, then, when it was over, he found himself gazing at the same pile of snow from which Mr. Gordon had been looking at him, and upon which there was an even larger pile of snow, but of Mr. Gordon there was not a trace.

“Mr. Gordon?  Mr. Gordon?!”

There was a muffled response of several unintelligible syllables, and the pile of snow appeared to heave slightly.

“Mr. Gordon, are you there?  Is that you under there?

Phil had by this time arrived, running from the side of the house.  “Of course it’s him under there Frankie, who did you think it would be? Come on, give me a hand digging him out before he suffocates.”

“Do you hear that Mr. Gordon?  We’ll have you out in a jiffy.  Just sight tight and don’t worry about a thing.  Frankie and Curly are here, and you’re going to be all right.  Just leave everything to us.”

“There he is Frankie.  There, wipe that snow off his nose, I’ll clear a space around his mouth.  There, at least he can breathe now.”

“Yeah, that’s got his head clear.  How do you feel Mr. Gordon?”

“What?  How do I feel?”  Mr. Gordon looked at Frankie for several seconds before seeming to recognize him.  “Mr. Elliott, is that you?”

“I’m right here, Mr.Gordon.  You’re going to be all right.”

“I seem to remember you playing on the sagbutt.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Then I turned and you were there blowing a note and something hit me on the chin.”

“I’m awful sorry about that, Mr. Gordon.  You’re all right now. There was just this little avalanche off the roof right there, it sort of fell right on top of you when I,  that is, well, when I pulled the door closed.”

“You caused the avalanche too?”

“Yeah, I guess I pulled the door a little too hard.”

“Where is Mr. Wellbright?”

“Here I am, Mr. Gordon.”

“Mr. Wellbright, I’d like to move my right arm, can you dig it out please?”

“You’re right arm?  Sure Mr. Gordon, we’ll have your arm out in no time.  Come on Frankie, give me a hand.  There, there it is Mr.Gordon, can you move it all right.”

“Yes, yes I can move it.  Now, could you dig out my left arm please?”

“Your left arm Mr. Gordon?  Of course, here, we’ll have that out in another minute or two. . .  There, there it is.  How does that feel?”

“That’s fine.  I can move both of my hands and arms, and all of my fingers.  I don’t think I can stand up yet.  Mr.  Elliott, would you lean a little closer to me please?”

“Sure Mr. Gordon, anything you say.”

“Thank you, that’s it.  I just want to get both my hands around your neck and squeeze as hard as I can before you get another chance to kill me!”

“Mr. Gordon!  Mr. Gordon, let go of Frankie.  That’s it, let go.  Now, take a deep breath, stay calm, don’t exert yourself, just take it easy.  We’ll have you out of there in not time.  You need to lie down and rest inside.  Let us finish digging you out of this snow.  Just relax.”

“Yes, thank you Mr. Wellbright.  I’m sorry Mr. Elliott I don’t know what came over me just then.  I suppose it was just some primitive impulse for self -preservation.”

“That’s okay Mr.Gordon.  Like Curly said, you just need to lie down and relax.  You’ve been through a trying experience.  Strangling me won’t make it any better.”

“Won’t it?  I mean, of course it won’t.  I am sorry Mr. Elliott.  I feel quite ashamed of myself.  I hope you will forgive me.”

“Sure Mr. Gordon I forgive you.  Besides, you had every right to lose your temper.  Now just take a deep breath and let Curly and I get you out of that snow and into your cabin.”

Unnoticed by our trio, a pair of men on skis had approached.

“Helmut?”  One of them called, ” Helmut, is that you?”

“Helmet? ”  Phil replied as he turned to face the newcomers.  “I don’t have a helmet.  Mr. Gordon, do you have a helmet?”

“No, but I could have used one a few minutes ago.”

“Sorry bud, no helmets here.”

“Sorry,”  The man  said, “I was mistaken.  I thought you were our friend, our friend Helmut.  He is staying in a cabin near this place.  We came  here to meet him.”

“Your friend Helmut isn’t here.  My name’s Phil Wellbright, my pal here is Frankie Elliott, and our host  is Mr. Gordon.   We had a little accident and we’re just getting Mr. Gordon inside.   Would you two mind giving us a hand?”

The two strangers exchanged glances, then the one who had done all the talking said  “Ya, we will help.  But then we must be going.  We must find Helmut.”

The two men stepped out of their bindings and stuck theirs skis into the snow,   “Your friend here was caught in the avalanche?”

“Yes, from the roof.  It wasn’t that bad really, but he had just suffered a fall before that.”

“You should be more careful.  Always you Americans are a careless people.  You will find yourself getting hurt that way.”

“I suppose we should be more careful.  Thanks for the warning.  I take it you and your friend  are not Americans.  Mind telling us  your business here?”

“Our business?  We are . . . entertainers, hired below, at the lodge.”

“At the lodge? ”  Frankie said, “Me too, I’m a musician.  Are you guys in the orchestra too?”

“Ni- no, we are not in the orchestra.  We are yodelers.”

“Yodelers?”

“Ya, Swiss yodelers.  From Switzerland.”

“From Switzerland.”

“That is right.  Allow me to introduce myself.  To my friends I am known simply as Conrad.  Hans  and I have come here to find our friend Helmut to rehearse together.  Helmut, he is also a yodeler.”

“A Swiss yodeler.”  Hans added.

“Yes, Hans is right.  Helmut is also from Switzerland, like us.”

“You two seem awful keen to make sure we know you are from Switzerland.  What’s up with that?”

Conrad  answered. “Oh, well, it is just that we grow tired of the way you Americans confuse our country with Sweden.  So many times when we say we are Swiss, and our kind American hosts say “Ah, Sweden, ”  and we have to correct them and say “No, not Sweden, Switzerland. ”

Hans added. “Sweden is on the Baltic Sea, and borders Norway and Finland.  Switzerland has no coast, but is situated among the Alps, and is surrounded by  many  neighbors:  France, Italy, Austria and of course, Germany.”

“That’s a rough neighborhood to be in these days.   What do you guys think about what  Hitler has done to Poland?”

“How the Fuhrer choses to deal with the Slavic peoples to the east is not a concern for Switzerland.”  Conrad responded.

“Nor for the British or French.  Or the Americans.”  Hans said.

“Hans!”

“Well, thanks for the geography lesson, and thanks for helping us get Mr. Gordon inside.  We won’t detain you from your rehearsal any longer.”

“I hope your friend recovers from his accident.  Please be more careful, all of you, to avoid danger.   Good day.”

Phil closed the door behind Conrad and Hans, and watched through the window as they put on their skis and glided away.

“There’s something suspicious about those guys Curly.”

“You noticed it too?”

“Yeah.   They sure went out of their way to convince us that they were Swiss yodelers, and not Swedish yodelers.  Well I’ve got news for Conrad and Hans, and Helmut too, wherever he is:  we might  look like just a couple of dumb Americans, but I guess we look too dumb for their good, because even a couple of guys like us know there’s no such thing as a Swedish yodeler.”

 

To be continued . . .

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Ski bums and Sagbutts: A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 2fb)

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Part Two: Snow way to treat a friend

We left Phil and Frankie standing at the open doorway of a remote cabin.  They had been tracking the source of a strange sound, which they supposed to be made by some frightening animal, but were surprised to find themselves facing not a wild beast, but Phil’s neighbor,  Mr. Gordon.  With equal surprise, Mr. Gordon’s first words as he sees the boys were:

“Mr. Wellbright, Mr. Elliott!  How did you two find me?”

“We weren’t looking for you, Mr. Gordon.  We didn’t even know you were up here.”

“That’s right.  We kept hearing a strange sound, and we followed it here to this cabin.”

“You must be referring to my sagbutt.”

“Gosh no, Mr. Gordon  I wasn’t referring to you at all.  Like I said, we heard this strange sound–. ”

“Let me try again.”  Mr. Gordon held up a something resembling a large trombone ,  “This is my sagbutt.  I was practicing on it.  That is the sound  you and Mr. Elliott must have heard.”

“Oh, that’s a- a sag butt, did you say?  It looks sort of like an over -grown trombone.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s one way to describe it.  The sagbutt is a predecessor to the modern trombone so favored by todays jazz musicians.  You gentlemen might as well take off your snow shoes and  come in.  Be careful when you close the door though, there is a great deal of snow on the roof and we don’t want to cause an avalanche.  I plan on going out later to rake it off.”

” Look at that, must be at least ten inches of snow up there.”  Said Phil.

“I’ll bet that would make quite a pile if it all came down at once.”  Frankie added.

“Say Mr. Gordon, let me save you the trouble of doing that,”  Phil said “I’m already dressed up warm, with boots and hat and coat and gloves.  You just take it easy and let me do this for you.”

“Thank you,  Mr. Wellbright, that’s very kind.  The rake is right there beside the door.”

“Is there another one of those things around, Mr. Gordon?  I’d be glad to help.”

“I’m afraid not, Mr.  Elliott, but thanks anyway.”

“While Phil’s doing that, do you mind if I take a look at that sagg -a , that musical instrument of yours?”

“Of course Frankie, if you’d like to examine my er-saggbutt, here it is.”   He handed the instrument to Frankie then, stepping into the open doorway Mr. Gordon addressed Phil again.  “I certainly appreciate this, Mr. Wellbright.  .  Just try to drag the snow so it doesn’t fall in front of the door.”

“I’ll start down at the other end and work my way back, then I’ll have a clear area on the roof to drag the snow to the side before I bring it down.”

“Good idea.”

“Mr. Gordon, have you been playing the sagbutt for long?”  Frankie asked.

“No, Mr.  Elliott, I’m still just a neophyte.”

“Oh, uh huh.  Mind if I give it a try?”

“Be my guest.”

After the note subsided, Phil said, “You’ll probably think this is pretty stupid, but when we heard you blowing on that thing, we thought I was some kind of strange animal.”

“Yes.  That is,  compared to the sound Mr. Elliott was able to produce, I’m sure mine must have sounded rather like a wounded water buffalo.”

Frankie responded, “Don’t be ridiculous,  Mr. Gordon.  Everyone knows there aren’t any water buffalo around here.”

“We were thinking more of a love-sick moose.”  Said Phil.

“Or a mammoth.”  Frankie added.

“A mammoth?  Of course.  A mammoth is much more plausible.  What brings you gentlemen here to this remote country?”

“Frankie got a job playing at the resort.  He talked me into coming with him.  What about you Mr. Gordon?  What brings you up here?”

“Mrs. Gordon suggested, and I agreed with her, that I could use a little rest, and some peace and quiet.”

“You couldn’t have picked a better place for it.  What could disturb you in a remote place like this?”

“I was just thinking the same thing myself.”

“You ought to get plenty of rest and peace, especially now that we’re here.”

“Now that you’re here?  What did you have in mind?”

At this point perhaps I should pause the narrative to inform those readers who may be unfamiliar with the prior history of Phil and Frankie and Mr. Gordon, of what happened on the very first day they met, and also to give a brief summary to all readers of certain events that had transpired since the day of their first meeting.

It was on Christmas Eve, that Phil and Frankie first met Mr. Gordon, and on that day  Phil accidentally knocked Mr. Gordon unconscious with a snow shovel.  Mr. Gordon regained consciousness in a  moment or two, and immediately forgave Phil for his unintended action; such was the character of Mr, Gordon.  Although he could forgive, it was more difficult for Mr, Gordon to forget.  For one thing there was the lump on his head that lasted several days and made putting on a hat something of a delicate procedure until well after the New Year.  More than that though, there were Phil’s efforts, usually accompanied by Frankie, to do something kind for Mr. Gordon, that never seemed to go as intended.

First there was the Pumpkin Pie incident, in which Phil and Frankie eagerly insisted on delivering the pie Mrs. Springinton had baked for the Gordon’s.  The two friends paraded across the street, locked arm in arm, carefully holding the pie up in front of them, singing Deck the Halls.  Mrs Gordon, having been alerted by a telephone call from Mrs. Springinton, was waiting at the front door, which she swung open as Phil and Frankie reached the porch.  Still shoulder to shoulder and still singing, the two men marched across the threshold and tripped over each others feet.  Walking from the kitchen to greet his guests, Mr. Gordon had the briefest of moments to glimpse  the pie, looking like a miniature harvest moon, sailing toward him.  A pumpkin pie in the face always does something to ones sense of balance,  and the added impact of Frankie and Phil colliding with him midships as they stumbled forward caused Mr. Gordon to tumble backward to the floor.  All three man came down in a heap with a tremendous thud, like a giant sack of toys that had fallen down the chimney.  Always one to look on the bright side, he was at least able to honestly say that the pie was delicious.

Then there was the day that Phil and Frankie helped the Gordon’s take down their Christmas tree. No one has yet been able to figure out how the trunk of the tree came to be fully inserted into Mr. Gordon’s  coat, entering at the bottom and coming out at the collar.  The tinsel icicles hardly bothered him, nor did the occasional cranberry or piece of popcorn.  What  made the experience most unbearable for Mr. Gordon were the dry and scratchy evergreen needles that fell off the tree by the hundreds and seemed to work their way into every stitch of clothes he was wearing, including even his undergarments, where they caused him a great deal of discomfort.  He had to endure this for quite some time too, for Mr. Gordon was too polite a host, or perhaps too modest, to excuse himself to change clothes until his guests had completed their mission and bade farewell.

The final incident, and one that I am happy to say ended without injury thanks to the abundant layer of snow on the ground, happened when the boys were helping Mr. Gordon take down the garlands  around the outside of the house and Frankie forgot one of the cardinal rules of moving a ladder, which is  to always look up first.  Indeed, the only thing that finally alerted Frankie to Mr. Gordons presence was a sound, not unlike the wail of a wounded water buffalo, followed by a glimpse out of the corner of his eye of  Mr. Gordon coming to earth.  Not wishing to miss an opportunity to spread Christmas cheer, Frankie spread himself out on the ground not far from Mr. Gordon and encouraged the other to make snow angels with him.

With all of this, you can readily understand how Mr. Gordon began to feel like a hunted animal as far as Phil and Frankie were concerned.  He knew the two men meant him no harm, but he began to feel decidedly unsafe in their presence.  Mrs. Gordon could see the toll this was having on her husband, and gave him the sage advice to remove himself to a locale far from Phil and Frankie,  with the hope that their zeal for doing her husband good deeds would abate in his absence.

You can also doubtless understand why Mr. Gordon may have sounded as though he were being pursued when he first saw Phil and Frankie at his door, and why now, he seemed to be nervous at their presence.  Imagine yourself in his shoes, or slippers, balancing the conflicting emotions of dread that something terrible must be about to happen to you, and relief that something terrible hasn’t just happened to you.  Such a strain would surely unnerve the stoutest of us.

To get back to the story, Mr. Gordon had just asked Phil what he had in mind, to which Phil replied:

“I mean doing these little chores for you, so you can relax, take it easy.  Let us do the work.”

“Of course.  I’m sorry if I seem a bit nervous, I hope I haven’t behaved inhospitably.  It’s just that seeing you two gentlemen here came as quite a surprise.”

“That’s okay Mr. Gordon,  Frankie and I were surprised to see you too.  Hey,  this snow is starting to pile up.  Have you got one of those snow shovels around here?  I’ll clear a walkway when I’m finished.”

“Thank you Mr.  Wellbright.  Yes, there is a snow shovel, I believe it’s around by the back door .”

“Okay.  You sure you trust me with it?”

“What’s that?  Oh yes.”  Mr. Gordon rubbed his head.

“I still can’t tell you enough how sorry I am about that, Mr. Gordon.”

“It’s quiet all right.  You needn’t apologize any further, but, just to ease your fear of doing me bodily injury, I’ll stay in here with Mr. Elliott, where it’s safe.”

Then, just at that moment, a most singular thing occurred.  I suppose if Frankie and Mr. Gordon had been a couple of highly trained acrobats, or perhaps two skilled precision dancers it would have taken them hours of rehearsal and many  a run through to accomplish what they were about to do, but they did it and did it well on the very first try.

Frankie definitely had the lesser demanding of the two roles.  For his part, he started with his back to Mr. Gordon, holding the sagbutt downward, then, as he started to play, he turned, took a step toward the door where  Mr. Gordon stood, raised the instrument, and extended the slide as he blew a note.

While Frankie was executing this movement, Mr. Gordon turned with impeccable timing, and, leading with his chin into the room, was greeted with stupendous effect by the extending slide of the sagbutt.  It is not easy to say which of the following difficult elements Mr. Gordon performed with the greatest degree of excellence.  Was it the explosive recoil  as he reeled from the glancing blow of the sagbutt to his chin, the seemingly effortless way in which he went from upright to head -over- heels in backwards flight, the velocity he achieved while in the air, the distance he travelled, or the landing in a mound of snow beneath the eaves directly in front of the open door?  I suppose if one were a judge at the Winter Olympic Games, one would have to give him all perfect scores, although if one were looking for any deficiency, one would have to admit that his landing did result in a great burst of snow being thrown up, something, I believe, for which the judges usually take at least a minor deduction.

In any event, Mr. Gordon sat there with a sort of dumbfounded expression on his face, like an athlete who’s Olympic dream has just come true, but doesn’t know what to make of it yet.  His reverie lasted only a moment before the deafening roar of the crowd, in the form a Frankie’s frantic shouting  roused him to semi-awareness:

“Mr. Gordon! I’m sorry!”

Mr. Gordon looked at Frankie, or, from Mr. Gordon’s perspective, looked at two of Frankie.  “What, what happened?”

“Let me help you.”  Frankie rushed forward and in his flight through the doorway instinctively grabbed the door handle and pulled it forcefully closed behind him.  There followed in a moment a rumbling sound, as of a great weight letting loose and shifting above…

To be continued…

Click here to read the previous adventures of Phil and Frankie: Amazon.com: Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer: A Tale of Christmas Time (9781708759025): Morris, Richard K: Books

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Ski bums and sagbutts: A madcap frolic in the snow. (Part 1fb)

Part One:   Strange sounds in the snow.

As we look across a snowy winter landscape, we see miles of hills and evergreen trees, with nary a house or other building in sight.  The sky above is thick with grey clouds, but no snow is falling at the moment, while a bright glow shining through the clouds to the west shows us it is late afternoon.  Back on the ground, we see two men wearing snowshoes trudging along a trail in the valley between the hills.  On a closer look we discover that these two are our friends Phil Wellbright and Frankie Elliot.  Let’s join them as they take in the brisk, clean, northern air.

“What did I tell you Curly, isn’t this great?”

“Sure, it’s wonderful.  I didn’t know there were winter resorts like this in the Midwest.”

“Well, it’s no Sun Valley, but it’s a way for folks  around here to get out and enjoy the snow without having to travel half way across the country.  I figure we can hit the slopes first thing tomorrow.”

“That’ll be fine. There’s just one thing I don’t understand.”

“What’s that?”

“What I am doing here?”

“You’re snow-shoeing.”

“Frankie, you know  what I mean.  I want to know why it was so important for you to get me up here with you.”

“What’s the matter, don’t you like it here?”

“Sure, like I said, it’s wonderful.   But I was content back at my new home, living next door to  A-  to the Springingtons.  I wasn’t even settled in yet, and you come along and drag me up into the woods.”

“Well Curly, I got this offer kind of suddenly, and so I had to rush right up here.”

“Sure, you had to, but what about me?  I’m not working here.”

“You’re my best friend Curly, so I wanted you here to share my good fortune.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Frankie, but, well, to tell you the truth, I was just getting to know Alice, and , well, I just sort of miss her.”

“You do?”

“Yeah.  I know, it probably sounds kind of silly, I mean, we only met  a month ago or so.”

“It doesn’t sound silly Curly.”

“No?”

“No, not at all.”

“Thanks Frankie.  I’m glad you understand.”

“Nothing silly about a guy missing a nice girl like Alice.  Especially if that guy happens to be kind of sweet on her.”

“That’s me all right.  “

“Truth is, I miss Olivia.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, seeing her again was like having a light go on in my life.”

“Did you think you were going to miss her before you came up here?”

“Yes, I did.  That’s why I wanted you to come with me, so I wouldn’t get lonely.”

“Did you ever stop to think I might miss Alice?”

“As a matter of fact, that thought did cross my mind, but I figured we could both miss them together, that way it wouldn’t be so bad for either one of us.”

“Yeah, but Frankie, I didn’t have to leave.  You’re the one who got the job at the resort.  I could be spending time with Alice right now.”

“I’m sorry Curly.  I just didn’t want to leave Olivia behind and come up here all by myself.  If you ever have to leave Alice behind to go on a trip, I’ll do the same for you someday, I swear I will.”

“Okay Frankie.  I guess it’s a worthy cause to help my best pal get along with out his girl for a few days, even if it does mean I have to be away from the girl I–from the girl I’m sweet on in the meantime.”

“Thanks Curly.  You know, just talking about Olivia makes missing her seem less, you know, less of a burden.”

“You’re right Frankie.  Talking about Alice has kind of eased the pangs for me too.”

Both men sighed at  exactly the same time.

Frankie said dreamily “Women.”

“Ain’t they something?”

“The best thing since sliced bread.”

“Better.”

“Best thing since a shave and a haircut.”

“You mean with the steaming hot towel wrapped around your face?”

“Yeah, and that great smelling after shave that only the barbers seem to have.”

“Yeah, even better than that… with your cheeks feeling so soft and smooth–“

“Like a baby’s bottom after a warm bath.”

“Yeah.”  Phil absently raised a hand and stroked his cheek with the back of his fingers.  There was an audible scraping as his knuckles  rubbed across his whiskers. He dropped his hand suddenly and seemed to stir out of a dream.   ” I think I’ll shave when I get back to the room.”

“Yeah.  Come to think of it, the last time I saw a baby’s bottom was when I was babysitting for my sisters kid when he was just a little thing, and that wasn’t for any bath.”

“Well, what’d you expect?  A baby’s got to be changed.”

“Poor little fellow.  He had a terrible rash after that night.”

“What did you do to the kid?”

“That’s just it, I didn’t do anything.  Every time the kid cried I thought he was hungry so I just kept offering him more of that mush babies eat.  He’d just look at it and turn away and cry some more.  It was very confusing.”

“What finally tipped you off?”

“I was holding a spoonful of mush in front of his mouth,  and  balancing him on my knee, and somehow, something just didn’t feel right.”

“Stop right there.  I get the picture.”

“Poor little guy.  I got the feeling as I looked into his eye that he wanted to reach out and punch me in the nose for leaving him in so much discomfort for so long.”

“I bet your nephew and you are great pals now.”

“What Johnny?  Sure he and I are like that.  He doesn’t hold a grudge against Ol’ Uncle Frankie.  Funny thing though, whenever I walk into a room he stands up, real sudden like.”

“Cut it out Frankie, you’re just foolin’ with me.  I have to admit though that changing babies diapers, well, that’s probably the only thing that kind of, you know, makes me a little scared of marriage and fatherhood.”

“Marriage and fatherhood?  Curly, you have got it bad.”

“Yeah, Frankie.  I’ve got it bad, and that’s good.”

“Does Alice know?”

“No.  I don’t want to frighten her.  We’ve known each other such a short time.”

“This is  kind of sudden news for me.   I hope I haven’t made any unseemly remarks, but if I do, you  know, based on our past association,  just let me know, would you?  I wish you all the best, Curly.”

“Thanks Frankie.  Don’t make it sound like I’ve jumped off a cliff and left you behind or something.  What about that light that’s gone on in your life?”

“What, Olivia?  She’s a wonderful girl, Curly.  I’m lucky just to have met up with her again, but I think she would never really take a guy like me seriously.”

“What do you think, she’s just playing you?  Just having fun?”

“I don’t think that Curly.   It just seems too good to be true.  All I know is when I’m with Olivia, it’s the best feeling I’ve ever known.  I guess I’m just afraid to think about the future because this all seems like a dream and I’m going to wake up at any moment.”

“Now it’s my turn to ask you if you’ve told Olivia how you feel.”

“What, and scare her off?”

“A fine couple of Romeo’s we are, too timid to press our suits.”

“What’s that?’

“Just something I read or heard somewhere.  It means we’re afraid to tell the girls we’re in love with that we’re in love with them.”

” What do we do?”

“I guess we just have to be patient and see how things work out, and in the meantime, do our best to keep the girls interested till we can tell them our feelings without, you know, without it being too much of a shock.”

“I suppose that’s a good plan.”

“Hey Frankie, speaking of plans, how much further till we get back?”

“According to the trail map, we should be coming to a turn off any time.”

“Which way?”

“To the left takes us down to the lodge. “

“What about that turn off we passed a little while ago?”

“I didn’t notice it.  I guess I must have had my mind on something else.”

“Uh -huh,  fine time to be daydreaming.  What do we do, turn back?”

“The trail is curving to the left anyway.  Let’s follow it around this bend and see where that leads us.”

“Lead on, Meriwether.”  They walked in silence for a few moments till Phil said, “Sure is quiet out here.”

“Yeah, not a house, or a building anywhere in sight .”

“Look at the trail, Frankie .  Looks like nobody has been out this way in quite some time.”

“Yeah,  ours are the only tracks.  Of course we did get a fresh snow last night.  That would have covered any tracks from yesterday.

“That’s right.  Probably there were a lot of tracks here before that snowfall last night.”

“Yeah, after all this is the main trail.  Probably lot’s of people walk this way all the time.”

“Of course.  You’re sure this is the main trail, aren’t you Frankie?”

“Sure I’m sure.  At least, I was sure.  Anyway, It’s not like we’re actually lost.”

“No, not actually.”

“I mean, even if we don’t know where we are right now, we know the lodge is just over that way.”

“Probably just a mile or so away, don’t you think?”

“Sure a mile or so, maybe. “

“Sure is quiet though.”

A sudden sound stopped the boys in their tracks.  It was a loud sound, unfamiliar and somewhat like a deep musical note blown on some fantastic kind of horn.

Phil looked at Frankie, “What was that?”

“I don’t know.  Sounded like the mating call of a moose.”

“Do you have moose around here?”

“No.  I was just kidding.  There are no moose around here.  At least I don’t think there are.  Anyway, what if it was?  Aren’t mooses vegetarians?”

“Yeah, that’s right, they are.  So what do you think it was?”

“I don’t know.”

“There it goes again.  Say, what’s bigger than a moose?  That sure is a loud sound.”

“I don’t know.  I think it’s coming from up ahead,  just around this bend.”

“Maybe it’s one of those wooly mammoth things.”

“You mean those things like hairy elephants?  Aren’t those extinct?”

“Yeah, that’s right.  I guess I’m just letting my imagination run away with me.  Besides the people at the resort would  have noticed a thing like a big hairy elephant roaming around in the woods.  I mean, what are the odds that you and I could  arrive last night and out of a clear blue, without even looking for it, be the first one’s to discover a giant animal like that, trumpeting and stomping around here in the woods?  The mere thought of such a thing is ridiculous.”

“You’re right Curly, that would be ridiculous; our first day here and we discover a mammoth roaming the woods.  Somebody else would have seen him first.  Anyway aren’t elephants vegetarians too?”

“Yeah, but did you ever see  one of those Tarzan movies and the way the elephants pick up the poachers or the ivory hunters or whoever they’re angry at with their trunks and just kind of toss them around like they were a child’s doll?”

“You don’t suppose it thinks we’re ivory hunters, do you Curly?”

“I don’t know.”

“I mean, we don’t look like a couple of poachers or ivory hunters, do we?”

“Not to me we don’t, but maybe the mammoth has never seen a Tarzan movie.  Frankie look!”

“A cabin!”

“Do you think that sound came from in there?”

As if in answer to Phil’s question, the sound repeated.

“I guess that answers that.”

“What do you suppose it could be?  That cabins too small for a mammoth.”

“I don’t know Frankie.  I guess we’d better go find out.”

“Might be some kind of wild animal that’s hurt in there, calling to its mate.”

“Or its pack.”

“Its pack?  You mean as in wolf pack?  Curly, I don’t think there are any wolves around here either.”

“Yeah, and you also thought mammoths were extinct, but we still haven’t figured out what could be making that noise.”

“Do you think maybe it’s a small mammoth?”

“You mean like a baby, calling for its mother?”

“That’s it Curly, like a baby calling to its mother.”

“If it is, then for our sake I hope the mother is nowhere nearby. “

“Gosh, you’re right!  I don’t see anything.  I think we’d hear her crashing through the trees if she were charging us.”

“We’re almost there Frankie.”

“What if it’s an injured wolf?  I’ve heard  wild animals that are injured and feel cornered can be the most dangerous.”

“We’ll soon find out.  Duck down below these windows.  We’re almost to the door.”

“Curly, I think I saw those trees move!  Wait… wait… I guess it was just the wind.”

“Keep your voice low Frankie.  Don’t want the wolf, or the mammoth–“

“Don’t forget the moose!”

All right.  The wolf, or the mammoth, or the moose, or whatever  is in there, to hear us.  My hand is on the door.  It doesn’t seem to be locked.  I’m going to gently push it open.  Stay to the side and give whatever frightening beast is in there plenty of room to charge out.”

“Right. “

“Ready? “

“I can’t look.  Tell me when  to run.”

“You’ve  got your eyes closed Frankie?  Okay.  Here goes.  The door is swinging open and I can see… I can see… Mr. Gordon!”

“Mr. Gordon?”

To be continued…

Click here to read Ski bums and Sagbutts: A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 2fb).

If you would like to read the previous adventures of Phil and Frankie, start here Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time. (Part One.)

Be sure to visit www.listenviewreview.com

copyright 2017 R.K.Morris

“Its pack?  You mean as in wolf pack?  Curly, I don’t think there are any wolves around here either.”

“Yeah, and you also thought mammoths were extinct, but we still haven’t figured out what could be making that noise.”

“Do you think maybe it’s a small mammoth?”

“You mean like a baby, calling for its mother?”

“That’s it Curly, like a baby calling to its mother.”

“If it is, then for our sake I hope the mother is nowhere nearby. “

“Gosh, you’re right!  I don’t see anything.  I think we’d hear her crashing through the trees if she were charging us.”

“We’re almost there Frankie.”

“What if it’s an injured wolf?  I’ve heard  wild animals that are injured and feel cornered can be the most dangerous.”

“We’ll soon find out.  Duck down below these windows.  We’re almost to the door.”

“Curly, I think I saw those trees move!  Wait… wait… I guess it was

Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part10fb)

Part Ten:  After Dinner

We left Phil and Frankie with Mrs.Springinton, Alice, and  Regalo in the Sprinington home, waiting for the rest of the family to arrive.  Frankie was providing music at the piano while the others  finished dinner preparations.  We rejoin them after dinner.  Most of the family are tidying up in the kitchen.   Phil  is laying out kindling in the fireplace, and his dog, Petey is curled up by the hearth.  Frankie is back at the piano playing Christmas carols, with Mary Elizabeth seated on the bench beside him, Regalo snuggled in her lap.

“Dinner was delicious, Mrs. Springinton.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve had such a good meal.”

“Thank  you Frankie.  You and Phil must feel free to join us any time.”  Turning to  Mr. Springingtion she said, “Isn’t it grand that Mr. Wellbright moved in next door, Arthur.  He and Mr.  Elliott are such nice men.  I feel just like we’ve been given a special Christmas present.”

Mr. Springington replied, “Phil and Frankie are welcome here anytime.  Of course, our door is open to all of our neighbors, but since we’ve just met today, I want to make sure you know it’s a standing invitation, for both of you.”

Phil answered, “Thanks, Mr. Springington.   We’ll try not to wear out our welcome. ”

“Laughter and music is something I never tire of, Phil.”

Celia winked at Alice and said, “Papa’s just glad to have someone else play the piano after dinner for a change.”

Mr. Springington chuckled, “Sure, that’s because I like to keep my hands free while I’m singing, so I can express myself with these broad gestures…”  He spread his arms wide.

Mrs Springington patted her husband on the shoulder, “You have a fine baritone voice dear.”

To which Mr. Springinton replied as he put his hand over hers and gently rubbed it, “Thank you Elizabeth.”

“Do you play, Mr. Springington?”

“A little, Frankie, but not so well, nor with such a wide repertoire as you.  Yes, I’d say having you two gentleman join us for Christmas Eve is one of the nicest surprises we could have hoped for.  Next to  having Robert getting leave to come home, I don’t see how we could ask for anything more.”

Phil looked up from the fireplace and spoke to Robert, “How about you, Lieutenant, are your folks from around here too?”

“No, I’m sort of  an adopted son of this  town myself.  I lost my mother and father when I was a boy.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.  After that I was raised by different Aunts and Uncles.  Both of my parents came from large families, so there was always someone willing to take me into their home.  Everyone was so nice and loving to me, but they just couldn’t take the place of my real mother and father.  I suppose if I had been younger, or a few years older when they died, it wouldn’t have made as much difference, but I was old enough to remember my mom and dad, and young enough to still need the presence of a mother and father in my life.  No matter how much my aunts and uncles tried to make me a part of their home, it just wasn’t the same for me.  My heart always yearned for my real Mom and Dad, so I never really minded when I would go on to the next relatives for a few months or years.  I’ve got a great family, not only the aunts and uncles,  lot’s of cousins too, and I love them all, but after losing my mother and father, none of those places ever felt like home.  I guess that’s one reason why the Navy seemed like a natural fit to me, you know,  never really settling down, going to different places.  Then I met Celia and we fell in love and got married.  Since then, thanks to Celia and Alice, and especially Mother and Father Springington,  this house has become home as far as my heart is concerned.”

“What about me, Daddy?”

“You most of all, Mary Elizabeth  You’re the North Star that guides me home wherever in the world I may be.”

“I hope my question  didn’t stir up any painful memories for you, Lieutenant.”

“That’s all right Phil, it’s nothing I haven’t come to grips with a long time ago.  Since we’re all family and friends here, I wish you would drop the Lieutenant and call me Robert.”

“Okay, Robert, thanks, and welcome home for Christmas.”

“It’s good to be home. ”

“Things are looking pretty bleak in the rest of the world right now.”

“Yes, they are.  Between Hitler and Staling making war on their neighbors, and Japan’s aggression in the Far East, it’s a wonder we’ve been able to stay our of it this long.”

“Any idea where you’ll be going after your leave, or can’t you say?”

“No to the first, and yes to the second question.”

“Must be pretty tough on you Celia.”

“I won’t pretend it isn’t, Phil.  I won’t say I’ve gotten used to it either, because that wouldn’t be true.  I suppose I’ve just gotten stronger that I ever thought I was.”

“I want both of you to know, and you too, Mary Elizabeth, that I’m grateful there are men like your father, men who volunteer and who are ready day and night to–well, who are ready in case the need arises.”

“I’m grateful for them too Phil.”  Celia said.  “The time when he’s away allows me to think of just how grateful.”

“I’ll tell you one thing.”  said Robert, “If the worse does happen, we’re going to need a lot more volunteers than we currently have in the Armed Services.”

“I suppose if that day comes, it will be boot camp for me.  Unless and until then,  well seeing you and Celia and Mary Elizabeth together on Christmas Eve, and knowing you’ve got to leave soon,  it makes me feel kind of selfish, like I’m just taking all this for granted .  I wish there was some way I could  do something too.”

Frankie chimed in from the piano, “That goes for me too,.  I don’t keep up much on international happenings, but if what you guys are talking about ever happens, I suppose I’ll be right down at the enlistment center with Phil.  In the meantime I’d love to pitch in too, but what can a couple of guys like us do compared to you trained fighting men, Robert?”

” I know something you could do that would be a great help.  especially tomorrow, on Christmas.”

“On Christmas?”  Frankie asked.

“Sure.  Just come with me to  the military hospital tomorrow, I’m sure you could help make Christmas a lot more bright for a lot of servicemen who won’t have the chance to be home this Christmas. ”

“I don’t get it, ” said Frankie, “We’re not even at war, and there are still guys getting ending up in the hospital?”

“Sure there are Frankie; preparing for defense can be dangerous, even during peacetime.  Ships and tanks and airplanes are big and heavy,  and even with training, guys make mistakes and get hurt.”

“I never thought of that. ”

“Sometimes we even get wounded pilots home from the American Volunteer Group in China.”

“You mean the Flying Tigers?”  Phil asked.

“That’s right Phil.”

“Imagine Frankie, what those guys have been through.  What an honor to spend Christmas with such men.”

“Then you’ll come, both of you?”

“I see how Frankie can help spread Christmas cheer with his music, but what can I do to help?”

“Bring your paints, brushes and plenty of canvas, Phil.  You can do portraits or winter landscapes, even caricatures, if somebody wants one.  The point is that you’re a skilled and  famous artist.  The fact that you’re spending Christmas Day with these wounded vets who can’t be home yet, I think it should make a big difference to many of them.  I know it would mean a lot to me to know that I wasn’t forgotten in a hospital bed on Christmas day. ”

“Sounds like a great idea, what do you say, Frankie.”

“Count me in.  The man I learned piano from used to go around  to the hospitals on Christmas Day and play for the kid’s there.”

Mr. Springington said,  “That sounds just like Sam Rawlings.”

“You know Sam Rawlings?    He taught me everything I know about music, plus a whole lot more. I used to spend all my free time as a kid down at the Keyboard Café sitting next to Mr. Rawlings at his piano.”

“I thought I detected something familiar in the way you played.  You learned from a great musician and a very dear friend.”

“Don’t I know it.  I sure do miss Mr. Rawlings,  I haven’t had the chance to see him since I got back in town.  You know, Mrs. Springington,  it’s funny that you mentioned Dooley Wilson earlier today, ’cause that’s who Mr. Rawlings always reminds me of.  Even the way his voice sounds, and the way he looks at you when he’s playing; his eyes soft and patient and full of understanding.  I can’t wait to see him again to thank him and tell him about everything that’s been happening, you know, the places I’ve played, catching up on new songs, that sort of thing.”

Mr. Springington said, “You’ll find him everyday at The Keyboard Café, same as before.”

Mrs. Springington added, “Every day except tomorrow.  He still closes the café on Christmas Day so he can get around to the hospitals.”

Frankie replied,”He still won’t let making an extra buck get in the way of doing some good for those in need.  Good old Mr. Rawlings.   Does he still have the same business partner, that crazy Hungarian chef, what was his name, Rudolph, wasn’t it?”

“What’s this about a crazy chef?”  Phil asked.

“He’s not really crazy,” Frankie replied, “Just sort of eccentric, you know with a real artistic temperament.  He’s short and plump and waddles around the café like a restless gander, speaking half English, half Hungarian, making small talk with the customers, giving orders to the staff, making sure everything is just right all the time.  Then if something doesn’t turn out just the way he wants it, bam!  Up goes his voice about two octaves, out goes the English except about one in ten words, and Rudolph’s arms go out in wild gestures in every direction: at the staff, at the ovens, at the floor, at his heart, you name it, and not one of us can understand what he’s even talking about until Mr. Rawlings comes along, looks at him with those big brown eyes, nods a few times, talks nice and soothing to him for a few minutes, and everything is all right again.”

“That’s them all right.”  Mr. Springinton said, “And I’m glad to say they are still partners in the business, and The Keyboard Café has lost none of its character.”

Mrs. Springinton looked at the kitchen clock. “Oh Arthur, look at the time.  We have to get going.”

Phil asked, “Are we keeping you from something Mr. and Mrs. Springinton.  Frankie and I can leave if you need to get ready.”

“Oh no, there is no need for you to leave.  We’re going to Christmas Eve service.  You and Frankie are welcome to join us.”

“I haven’t been to a Christmas Eve service in a while.  I’d love to go, thank you.”

Alice said, “It will be nice to have you along, Phil.”

“Thanks Alice.  I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t light that fire if we’re all leaving.”

Mrs. Springinton asked, “How about you, Frankie, would you like to go with us?”

“I don’t know.   I wouldn’t have to pray out loud, would I?”

“Of course not.  You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.  You can sing if you like.  There will be plenty of singing; carols and hymns.”

“The carols I can handle, but I’m a little out of my league with those hymns.  I’d hate to sound foolish there in a church full of people.”

“Just stay close to me and you won’t sound foolish.  Oh dear, that didn’t come out right.  What I meant was, just stay by me and I’ll help guide you.  Just follow my lead.  If you need to get my attention just tug gently on my sleeve, and if I  need to get your attention, I’ll nudge you gently with my elbow.  Besides,  if you knew half the mistakes I’ve made, you wouldn’t worry about how you are going to sound.”

“All right Mrs. Sprinington, I’ll go, as long as you promise to look out for me.”

“I do.  I’m so glad you’re going too Frankie, and now I can tell you that you’ll get a chance to see Sam Rawlings tonight.”

“Mr. Rawlings, really?”

“Yes, really.  Sam is a member of our church and plays keyboards at our services.  He’ll be so glad to see you again,  I’m sure.  Arthur, would you lend one of your coats to Phil.  Is everybody else ready?  Phil, Frankie, it’s just a couple of blocks.  What a lovely night for a walk…”

To be continued…

Friends, Snowmen, Countrymen, Be of Good Cheer. A Tale of Christmas Time (Part 9fb)

Part Nine:  Of Wolves and Chihuahuas

We left Phil standing at the front door of the Springinton house.  He had expected to be greeted by Mrs. Springinton, but was surprised when a much younger woman opened the door.  Almost speechless, Phil at last managed to ask the woman, “Where did you come from?”  to which she replied:

“The kitchen.”

“Oh.  I guess that was kind of silly of me.  What I meant was, I only left the house a little while ago, and Mrs. Springington said everyone else was out .  You sort of surprised me”

“I just got back a few minutes  ago.  Mother’s in the kitchen too.  Do you wish to speak to her?”

“If Mrs. Springinton is your mother, does that make you  Mary Elizabeth’s mother?”

“No, my sister is Mary Elizabeth’s mother.  I’m her aunt.  Alice is my name.  Won’t you come in, Mister..?”

“Well, to tell you the truth, that’s part of the reason I came back;  to tell your mother my real name.  You see, when I was here earlier I used a phony name.  The other reason is to return Mary Elizabeth’s mitten.  She must have dropped it outside when we were talking with Officer Carson.”

“Oh, then you must be that nice Mr. Webster mother was telling me about, the one who thought Mary Elizabeth was sick and wanted to build a snowman to cheer her up?”

“Yes, at least that’s the name I told your mother.  It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Springinton.  Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas. Just call me Alice.”

“My name’s Phil.”

“Come on in Phil.  Mother and I were just getting dinner ready.”

“Before we go in Alice, I want to say that I think your mother is one of the most wonderful persons I’ve ever met.  That’s why I want to come and confess that I didn’t use my real name earlier.  I wouldn’t want her to think poorly of me.”

“That’s awfully nice of you to say so Phil.  Just for the record, I think she’s pretty wonderful too.  Shall we go in?”

“Sure.”

“Hello Mother, look who’s back.”

“Why, Mister Webster.  I’m so glad to see you.  After you left earlier, it dawned on me that a single man like you,  just moved into a new house the night before Christmas Eve, you probably haven’t any place to have a nice dinner.  Won’t you share our meal with us? If your friend Mr,  Elliott has no plans, we would love to have him join us too.”

“Thank you Mrs. Springinton.  I haven’t any plans for Christmas Eve, that’s very kind of you.  But before I put you in the spot of having to change your mind, there’s something I need to tell you .  It’s about me, something I did.”

“My goodness, this sounds serious.  Did you rob a bank or something?”

“Well, no, nothing that bad.  But I did lie to you earlier Mrs. Springington, and I regret doing it.  I feel terrible, and I want to tell you how sorry I am.”

“You needn’t feel terrible Mr, Webster.  After all, you’re here now making a clean breast of it.  What did you tell me that was so bad?”

“You just said it  Mrs. Springington, my name.  My name isn’t really Phil Webster.”

“Oh dear, and I already decorated a cookie with your name on it.  I know, there’s young Phillip Flannigan down the street, he always stops by for cookies on Christmas day, I’ll set that one aside for him.”

“No Mrs. Springington, that part of my name is real.  My first name really is Phil.”

“Oh, well here’s a cookie with your name on it.  You might want to save it until after dinner.”

“Thank you Mrs. Springington.  It’s my last name that I lied to you about.  My last name isn’t Webster, it’s Wellbright.”

“I like Webster, but Wellbright is nice too.  It sounds, well, well and light, as in the opposite of dark.  Well-bright!  Very nice to meet you again Mr.  Wellbright.  won’t you have dinner with us?”

“This is very kind of you Mrs. Springinton.   I’m kind of surpised you seem to  be taking this  so lightly.”

“Oh, I don’t take lying lightly Mr. Wellbright.  Lying is a very serious matter.  Just because I’m not stomping my feet and lecturing you doesn’t mean I don’t take lying seriously.  But you’ve already confessed what you did and said you were sorry for it. ”

“Then  you’re not angry with me for giving you a false name earlier?”

“Angry?  No, not at all.”

“Nor disappointed?”

“Good heavens no.  You meant me no harm by saying your name was Phillip Webster when really it is Phillip Wellbright, did you , Mr. Wellbright?’

“Please, call me Phil.”

“I will, thank you.  Did you Phil?”

“Did I what?”

“Did you mean me any harm by saying your name was Phillip Webster?”

“No, of course not.”

“Did you mean anyone any harm?”

“No.”

“Were you giving a false name to avoid being recognized by Officer Carson and perhaps being arrested for some previous crime you had committed?”

“No.  As far as I know I’ve got a clean record.”

“There you see?  You recognized that what you had done was wrong, you’ve admitted it to the people affected by your decision, no one was harmed, and now there is no longer any reason for you to feel bad about it.”

“I haven’t told Officer Carson yet.  He still thinks my name is Webster.”

“Hmm.  You’ll just have to tell him later.  In the meantime, in case he finds out, I’ll vouch for you.  Any way, what I’m trying to say is I accept your apology and I forgive you for introducing yourself under a false name.”

“I really don’t know what to say Mrs. Springinton.  You’ve been so kind, and we only met just today.  How can I thank you?”

“You can thank me by taking off that orange jumpsuit and helping set the table for dinner.   After that, if it makes you feel better, I will be glad to listen to your reason for wanting to conceal your true identity.  Alice, will you take those coveralls from Mr.  Wellbright and hang them in the front closet.  I hope we won’t be needing them any more today.  Phil, you can use one of my husband’s coats until you get some winter clothes of you own.”

Alice and Phil walked toward the front closet.

“Let me help you with that Phil, these things can be a bear to get out of if you don’t want to lose your balance.”

“Thanks Alice.  Your mother sure is something.  Is your whole family as sweet as she is?”

“Let’s see, you’ve already met Mary Elizabeth.  What did you think of her?”

“She’s a swell kid.”

“Then there’s Dad, and my sister Celia, and my brother-in-law Robert.  I think I can safely say they’re all pretty wonderful too.  I guess that’s the lot.”

“You forgot one.”

“I did? Who?”

“Yourself.

“Me?  I’m just Alice.  Besides, how would it sound if I spoke of myself as being one of a group of such wonderful people?  Why, that would be  boastful of me.”

“It wouldn’t be boastful if somebody else said it.”

“That’s true, but somebody else hardly knows me.”

“You’re right.  I’m sorry, I must have sounded like a real smooth wolf.  I don’t usually say things like that, honest.”

“It’s all right, Phil.”

“You believe me?  That I wasn’t just trying to flatter you, you know, to get in good?”

“I believe you.”

“See, already you’re convincing me that you are wonderful.  At this rate I will know  you well enough  to say it by the time dinner is over”

“Before you give me too much credit, I have a secret to tell you.”

“A secret?  Should we whisper?”

“Nothing mysterious, just something I know.   So you’re Phillip Wellbright, the renowned and talented young artist who dropped out of sight a month or so ago?”

“Oh, so you know all about me?”

“Yes, or to put it more accurately, a friend of mine knows all about you, and she told me earlier today.  That’s why I believe you weren’t flattering me just now.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Do you remember the girl you met at The Glass Slipper last night?”

“You mean Olivia?  The art student?”

“That’s right, Olivia.  She knew who you were all along.  They even had a section on you in one of her courses.  Olivia and I are old friends.  She told me how nice you were, and how you weren’t like so many other men, you know, on the prowl.  She said you remind her of a nice, shy boy she went to school with.”

“Can you imagine that?”

“So I figure if you can sit face to face with a girl as pretty as Olivia in a setting like The Glass Slipper  and not even try to maneuver into a position to make a pass, you’re no wolf, brother.”

“Thanks Alice, but don’t sell yourself short: you’re not exactly a pain to look at yourself.”

“Simmer down , or I’ll have to take back what I said about you not being a wolf.”

“About that Alice, I haven’t always been like that kid your friend Olivia went to school with, you know, shy and all,  I–”

“Excuse me Phil,  look at that man bounding up the front walk.  Is that your friend Mr. Elliott?”

“That’s Frankie all right.  Say, what’s that sticking out of his jumpsuit?”

“It looks like a dog.”

“Sure must be a tiny one.”

“Here he comes, I’ll open the door and we’ll find out.”

“Hello Frankie.  How did it go with Mr. and Mrs. Gordon?”

“Great Curly.  They were very understanding and forgave everything.  I’m glad you talked me into telling them I was sorry.  And look what they gave me!”

“We were just wondering about that when we saw you through the window.  Frankie, this is Alice Springington.  Alice, this is Frankie Elliott.”

“Merry Christmas Mr. Elliott.  won’t you and your shivering friend come in?”

“I don’t think he can be shivering from cold already.  Mr. and Mrs Gordon told me they shake like that sometimes.”

“Why don’t you unbutton him Frankie, so we can get a look?”

“Okay, Okay,  just a second.”

“Here. Mr. Elliott, let me help you off with that jumpsuit.  We finally just separated Phil from his.”

“Thanks Miss Springinton.  That feels a lot better.  Say hello, little fellow.”

“Oh Phil, it’s a Chihuahua.  He’s adorable.”

“Isn’t he though.  You better wait in here Frankie till we find out if it’s all right with Mrs. Springinton to bring him into the house.”

“Mother won’t mind, she loves animals.  Come on into the kitchen, Mr. Elliott….Mother, Mr. Elliott is back, and look who he brought with him.”

“Mr. Elliott, I’m so glad to see you again, and look,  a Chihuahua!  You must have been over to the Gordon’s house.”

“Yes, and what nice people they are.  Everybody, I would like you to meet  Regalo .”

Regalo, that’s Spanish for gift.”

“Do you speak Spanish,  Phil?”

“Sure,  Mrs. Springinton,  where I grew up in Arizona, a lot of my friends and neighbors speak both English and Spanish; and for the one’s who are having a hard time learning English, I figured it would help them learn faster if I also spoke a little Spanish.  So Frankie, tell us how the Gordons happened to give you Regalo.”

“Sure Curly, it’s like this.  It seems there is this young couple who got him as a puppy right after they were married a couple of years ago.  Well, about a year later they had twins, and now the kids are walking around,  and the couple is afraid Regalo here might get hurt.  You know how toddlers grab onto things and don’t let go.”

“I know Frankie, but I’m surprised you know it too.”

“You’re not the only one with nieces and nephews, Curly.  Sometimes I wonder how this nose and these ears have survived being around those kids and still stayed attached to my face.  Anyway, so  this couple asked Mr. Gordon to find Regalo a new home, one without twin toddlers.  His name means gift does it?  What a perfect name for him!  Regalo and I are like old pals already, aren’t we little buddy?  And now, Mrs. Springinton, earlier today didn’t I hear you say something about a piano?”

“Yes, it’s right there in the other room.  Do you play, Mr. Elliott?”

“I do and I shall, if no one objects.  I believe you had requested As Time Goes By?”

“You’ll play that for me!  Oh, this is wonderful.  Oh, look at you with Regalo, the tiny Chihuahua.  If only we had a violin,  it would be just like having Xavier Cugat play for us.  You’ll stay for dinner, won’t you Mr. Elliott?”

“I’ll stay if you can put up with me that long.  Warm up your voices folks, ’cause after this I’m playing Jingle Bells!” 

To be continued…