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Campfire Creepers 3– Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part5)

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Get some chills and laughs, inspired by the classic horror and comedy-mystery films of the past. Fun for all ages. Grab a part, break a leg, and ham on!

Click here to read Campfire Creepers 3: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum(part 4)

Click here to start at Campfire Creepers Three: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 1)

 

Uncle Charlie:  Well spoken, Huntz.  Now, if you and Bonita will allow me to proceed without revisiting the tale of the vacuum cleaner and the locket, I would like to make sure I understood something Joan said a few moments ago about the middle school play.    Lou are you not helping with the play this year?  I thought you liked the theatre.

Lou:  I like it okay as long as I’m onstage or in the booth, but I don’t like being backstage at the Little Theatre during rehearsal.  It’s too dark.

Uncle Charlie:  Oh, come on Lou, with all those kids around ?  You aren’t seriously frightened in the dark at the Little Theatre.

Lou:  It’s not just that I’m scared of the dark.  It’s getting pretty close to Halloween and I can’t  help thinking about monsters and things whenever I’m alone.  Besides that, there are other things.

Uncle Charlie:  Other things?  What other things, Lou?

Lou:  Strange noises for one thing.

Uncle Charlie:  It seems I remember there are always strange noises backstage during rehearsal and set building.

Bonita: This is different, Uncle Charlie, and it’s more than just noises too.

Uncle Charlie:  Like some of Lou’s vivid imagination, perhaps. And you’ve got it too, Bonita?  Tell me which monsters you’ve been thinking about, Lou?

Lou:  Usually the Frankenstien monster, or the Wolfman, or Dracula.

Uncle Charlie:  Hmm, the classics.    Do  the kids still dress up as those  characters at Halloween?

Lou:  Oh sure,  every year I  see a lot of vampires, a Frankenstein monster or two, plus the occasional werewolf.  There are some new ones though, that aren’t based on monsters.  I know this one guy who’s dressing up as  a gorilla this year.

Uncle Charlie:  You’ve just reminded me of a friend of mine.  When we were both about your age, he dressed up as a gorilla.  Are any of you familiar with the motion picture Mighty Joe Young?

Joan: Isn’t that the one about the girl  who gets talked into bringing a giant gorilla back  to the states with her by a promoter or something?

Uncle Charlie:  That’s the one.  Well, Mortimer, that’s my friend’s name, though he usually went by Mort,  Mortimer had a real affinity for that gorilla Joe, practically hero worship, so I suppose it’s no surprise that he dressed up as a gorilla for Halloween that year.  His costume was all homemade and most convincing.  Mortimer was already adept at making things out of old discarded items, and doing all kinds of special effects with stage make up and such.  He put together the fur covering of the gorilla from worn out women’s coats, and in the dark on Halloween night, you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference between my friend Mort and a real gorilla.

Huntz:  Really, it was that good?

Uncle Charlie:  Well, so I was told.  You see, I never actually witnessed  Mortimer in character as Mighty Joe Young on Halloween night.  I was bobbing for apples and drinking cider at your Aunt Elizabeth’s parents house that night, so all of my information is purely second-hand.  But I did see him try it out in the daytime on the thirtieth.  Yes, he was very convincing.

Bonita:  It sounds like you friend Mortimer must have been the hit of Halloween that year.

Uncle Charlie:  I suppose he would have been, if that circus hadn’t been passing through the area.

Lou: Circus?  There was a circus here in Milford?

Uncle Charlie:  In Highland to be precise.  Their caravan had stopped in front of  Highland Junior High School due to mechanical trouble with one of the trucks.   During the stop, their gorilla, King Conga, I believe was his name, escaped.

Huntz:  Did he break out by bending the bars of his cage?

Uncle Charlie:  No.  I was informed that King Conga was a highly trained and very intelligent gorilla;  he distracted his keeper by throwing banana peels up on the sidewalk to the school.  Every time the keeper would come back with an empty peel, the gorilla would toss another peel further up the sidewalk.  Finally, when he put one practically right on the front step, and while the keeper was going to retrieve it, the gorilla slipped his lock and made good his escape.  As his good fortune would have it, he almost immediately discovered a skateboard that had been left there by a careless student earlier in the day.  Upon his return to the cage, the keeper was stunned to find it empty, and as he ran to the front of the truck to alert the others to the missing gorilla, he saw King Conga riding south on John Street, still eating bananas and strewing the peels as he went. Well, the keeper raced after Conga on foot, but the gorilla already had a considerable head start, and was making good speed on the skateboard.  By the time the keeper reached Livingston Road, the banana trail ended.  In the dark, it was impossible for him to tell whether the gorilla had gone east or west on Livingston, but the keeper later told reporters that he was almost certain King Conga stuck out his left arm to signal a turn before he disappeared in the darkness, in which case the gorilla  would seem to have turned east on Livingston.

Lou:  Wait a minute!  Wait a minute!

Uncle Charlie:  Yes Lou?

Lou: You say there was a gorilla riding a skateboard down John Street in Highland?

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right, Lou.

Lou:  And he rode all the way down to Livingston, and then signaled for a left turn on Livingston?

Uncle Charlie:  You follow the narrative precisely.

Lou:  And you expect us to believe that?

Uncle Charlie:  You think he turned off on Ruggles?  I find that highly unlikely, remember the trail of banana peels–

Lou:  Okay, okay, never mind.  So the gorilla turned east of Livingston Road.  What happened next?

Uncle Charlie:  The circus people notified the local authorities, who  hurriedly organized  search parties consisting of trained veterinary specialists, local police, the Oakland County sheriff, and even  the State Police.    It was on the radio and everything, very big news for our little community.  I remember hearing the broadcast announcement just as I came up soaking wet with an apple in my mouth.  “Police mount dragnet to search for escaped gorilla in Highland.  Animal last seen heading in general direction of Milford.  Trick-or-treaters advised to use extra caution, and avoid large, hairy characters.”

 

 

to be continued . . .

Click here to read Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum part 6 (Campfire Creepers 3)

copyright 2017 r.k.morris

 

 

 

 

Campfire Creepers, Milford Theatre, Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum, Uncategorized

Campfire Creepers 3: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum(part 4)

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Get some chills and laughs, inspired by the classic horror and comedy-mystery films of the past. Fun for all ages. Grab a part, break a leg, and ham on!

Mystery -comedy script. Click here to read Campfire Creepers Three: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 1)

Click here to read Campfire Creepers Three–Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 3)

 

Uncle Charlie:  Joan, Joan, I must apologize, for I don’t think I made myself sufficiently clear a moment ago.  What I meant to convey was that while I am sure this young man exists, in theory and in fact somewhere, I am not however aware of his identity nor of his particular presence nearby at this  moment.

Joan:  Oh, so you don’t know who he is?

Uncle Charlie:  I am sorry dear, no.

Joan:  Oh well, thanks anyway Uncle Charlie.  It’s just like I said before, no boy ever gives me a second look.

Uncle Charlie:  Nonsense Joan, your young man is just shy, like Lou is with Emily.

Joan:  Like Lou?

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right, and he’s probably someone you see everyday at school, and you have no clue he has a crush on you, like Lou.

Joan:  Like Lou?

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right.  Why I wouldn’t be surprised if any day now he finally gets the nerve and walks up to you and speaks.

Joan:  Like Lou?

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right, like Lou.

Joan:  I don’t know if I want to be gargled at, Uncle Charlie.

Uncle Charlie:  Not exactly like Lou my dear, just in principle.  Perhaps your young man is not a gargler.   For all we know, he may be a goggler.

Joan:  A what?

Uncle Charlie:  A goggler;  one who goggles.  To goggle: to stare with bulging or wide open eyes.  While Webster’s doesn’t comment on this specific, I always think of a goggler as being speechless while goggling.  Certainly you’ve seen that look:  the bulging, blank eyes, the dumb expression, the sagging jaw, the gaping mouth.  That’s the look of a shy young man gazing upon his adored object.  Surely you’ve seen that look on some boys face Joan.

Joan:  I don’t know Uncle Charlie,  goggling sounds almost as bad as gargling.  Do you suppose there’s a nice boy out there somewhere who would just be able to talk?

Uncle Charlie:  Of course there is dear.  I must bend my mind to this matter to help you from being discouraged.   A change of subject is what I need for the moment.   Tell me what else has been going on in your lives.

Joan: Bonita and Huntz and I are helping out with the middle school play.

Lou: Uncle Charlie?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes Lou?

Lou: What are you doing with that?

Uncle Charlie:  This?  The vacuum cleaner?

Lou:  Yes.  Why are you carrying a vacuum cleaner around downtown Milford?

Mill Valley Vacuum and Sewing. Main Street, Milford, MI

Uncle Charlie:  Well I have to take it to Max to have it serviced.

Lou:  Max?  Who’s Max.

Uncle Charlie:  Max is the man who owns the vacuum shop here in Milford.   Your Aunt Elizabeth  asked me to take it to him to have it fixed.  She can’t stand the terrible noise.

Lou:  This fellow Max, he makes a terrible noise?

Uncle Charlie:  No Lou!  The vacuum cleaner makes a terrible noise.  I’m taking it, the vacuum cleaner, to him,  Max, so he can find out why it’s making the noise and fix it.

Lou:  Okay.  I get it. The vacuum cleaner is making a terrible noise and you are taking it to get it fixed.

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right.  Now Joan, you were saying–

Lou:  Uncle Charlie?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes  Lou?

Lou:  It looks like something is about to fall out of your pocket.

Uncle Charlie:  Thank you Lou.  I wouldn’t want to loose that.

Lou;  What is it, Uncle Charlie?

Uncle Charlie:  What, this?  This is a locket.  Your Aunt Elizabeth asked me to take it to Charlie to have it repaired.

Lou:  Now let me get this straight:  you’re taking that locket in your pocket to have it repaired by Charlie, Uncle Charlie?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes, that’s right.

Lou:  Joan, I think something has upset Uncle Charlie, he’s talking about himself in the third person.

Uncle Charlie:  No, I’m all right Lou.  I’m not Charlie.  Charlie is the jeweler to whom I’m taking the locket.

Lou: You’re not Charlie, Uncle Charlie?

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right Lou.

Lou:  Joan, I think you better stay with Uncle Charlie while I go for help.

Uncle Charlie:  No Lou, Charlie is not me.  I’m you’re Uncle Charlie.  Charlie is an entirely different person.

Lou:  Now he thinks he’s two different people.  Oh, poor Uncle Charlie.  Wait till Aunt Elizabeth hears about this.

Charlie’s Jewelry Creations, Main Street, Milford, MI

Joan:  Lou, I think what Uncle Charlie is trying to say is that there is another man, also named Charlie, and that man is the jeweler to whom our Uncle Charlie is going to take Aunt Elizabeth’s locket to be repaired.  Isn’t that right Uncle Charlie?

 

Uncle Charlie:  Exactly, my dear.

Lou:  Oh, is that it?  Why didn’t you just say so in the first place?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes, if only I had made myself clear from the beginning.  Ah, here are your cousins now.

Enter Bonita and Huntz.

Uncle Charlie:  You two are just in  time .

Bonita:  Hello everybody,  I hope we didn’t keep you waiting.

Huntz:  Yeah, sorry we’re a little late.  What are we just in time for, Uncle Charlie, is something the matter?

Uncle Charlie: Nothing the matter, Huntz, it’s just  your arrival is very timely in preventing me from being pulled deeper into a dizzying verbal vortex of confusion.

Huntz:  Say that again, Uncle Charlie.

Uncle Charlie:  To put it another way, I am practically reeling from the linguistic contortions that accompany any attempt to carry on a conversation with Lou and Joan.

Huntz:  You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves.  Show me the bruises Uncle Charlie.  If only I had some liniment, I could give you a nice rub down.

Bonita:  Huntz, Uncle Charlie said contortions, not contusions.

Huntz:  Contortions?  You mean like those people who twist their bodies up like a pretzel?

Bonita:  That’s right.

Huntz:  Uncle Charlie, I didn’t know you were a contortionist.

Uncle Charlie:  I am not a contortionist Huntz.  I was speaking figuratively about mental contortions.

Huntz:  Mental contortions?  Oh, I get it:  confused, twisted, and seemingly pointless reasoning as the result of a misapprehension of  a word or phrase.

 

to be continued . . .

 

copyright 2017 r.k.morris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Campfire Creepers, Milford Theatre, Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum, Uncategorized

Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 3)

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Get some chills and laughs, inspired by the classic horror and comedy-mystery films of the past. Fun for all ages. Grab a part, break a leg, and ham on!

Click here to read Campfire Creepers Three: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 1)

Click here to read Campfire Creepers Three– Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part2)

 

Joan:  A bow?

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right, a beau.  Oh, I don’t mean to embarrass you and put you on the spot like this.  I just thought maybe you or Bonita might be able to give Lou some advice to help him ease into speaking to this young lady.  Put it out of your mind dear, I’ll just wait for Bonita.

Joan:  You don’t have to wait for Bonita, Uncle Charlie.  I can help.

Uncle Charlie:  You mean you have a beau?

Joan:  One bow?  Heck, I’ve got two.

Uncle Charlie:  Two ?  At the same time?

Joan:  Sure.  One bow doesn’t do a girl much good.

Uncle Charlie:  No?

Joan: No.  I’d look pretty silly walking around with just one bow, wouldn’t  I?

Uncle Charlie:  Would you?

Joan:  Sure.  A girl in high school has to think about these things.    She can’t just run around with bubble gum in her hair and marker on her face and just one bow like she could in middle school.

Uncle Charlie:  She can’t?

Joan:  Of course not.  I made that mistake my freshman year, but I’ve got it figured out now.

Uncle Charlie:    Let me make sure I have this straight, Joan.  You have not one beau, but two, both at the same time, simultaneously?

Joan:  That’s right.

Uncle Charlie:  Do they know about each other?

Joan:  That’s kind of an odd question Uncle Charlie.  I don’t think they know anything.

Uncle Charlie: You don’t think they know anything?  How can you make such a statement?

Joan:    After all,  they’re  just a couple of inanimate objects.

Uncle Charlie:  Inanimate objects!  Joan, I am surprised at you.

Joan:  Why Uncle Charlie?  Mom always taught me not to be materialistic about things.

Uncle Charlie:  Not materialistic about things?  Joan, a beau is not a thing.

Joan:  It is according to Mother.

Uncle Charlie:  Your mother, my sister, said that?  What else did she teach you?

Joan:  Mom taught me plenty.  The first thing  you’ve got to learn is how to wrap the little buggers around your finger.

Uncle Charlie:  Wrap them around your finger!?

Joan:  Sure, otherwise how do you expect them to behave?

Uncle Charlie:  To behave!  Like they were an obedient dog or a trained circus seal!

Joan:  Hardly like that Uncle Charlie, but if they don’t stay in their place, honestly, what good are they?

Uncle Charlie:  What good are they?  Joan, my dear, please tell me that you don’t mean to say a beau has no intrinsic value to you.

Joan:  Of course it does Uncle Charlie, as long as it stays in its place.  But Mom also taught me not to get too attached to them, and not to get upset if  one breaks.

Uncle Charlie:  If one breaks?  Of course you’re speaking figuratively my dear, as in breaking one of your beaux hearts.

Joan:  That’s a good one Uncle Charlie.  A bow hasn’t got any heart.

Uncle Charlie;  No brain and no heart!  What is the younger generation coming to?

Joan:  We’re thrifty Uncle Charlie.   Mom taught me that too. You’ll like this:  she said if one breaks that I should put it with the other one, tie ’em both together, and make two smaller bows so I’ll learn not to be so rough on the next pair.

Uncle Charlie:  On the next pair!  You’d think you were talking about shoe laces.

Joan:  I am taking about shoe laces Uncle Charlie.  What did you think I was talking about?

Uncle Charlie:  You were talking about shoelaces?   Shoelaces. Of course, then it all makes sense.  You see, Joan, the word beau I  was using is a French word, —

Lou: Uncle Charlie, I know some French words.  Would you like to hear them?

Uncle Charlie:  Later perhaps Lou, I am trying to explain something to Joan.  As I was saying Joan, beau  is a French word meaning boyfriend.  I assumed you also knew , so when you started talking about your bows, I mistakenly thought  —

Joan:  Uncle Charlie!  Don’t tell me you  thought that  when I was talking about wrapping my shoelaces around my finger,  you thought I was telling you how I treat my boyfriend?

Uncle Charlie:  Two boyfriends.

Joan:  Two?  Imagine that, a spare.

Uncle Charlie:  Of course it was all just a silly misunderstanding.

Joan:   Silly?  It’s ridiculous, I mean,  I’m not greedy.  I would settle for just one.

Uncle Charlie:  Naturally —

Joan:  On second thought,  a spare boyfriend might  come in handy in case the first one gives me the slip, I mean, in case I break up with the first one.  Wait a minute, who am I kidding?  Me, talking about boyfriends, when none of the boys in school as so much as given me a second look.

Uncle Charlie:  I’m sure you must be mistaken about that my dear.

Joan:  I don’t think so Uncle Charlie. I keep trying to catch just one at it, but no luck.

Uncle Charlie:  Still, I’m positive that right now there exists some young man who’s been giving you plenty of second looks.

Joan:  Really, right now?  Don’t let him get away.  Lou, how does my hair look?

Lou:  Your hair looks fine.

Joan:  Really, you’re not just saying that?

Lou: Why would I just say that?  Your hair looks fine.  It looks like your hair always looks.

Joan:  But my hair always looks a mess.

Lou:  What do I know  about fine hair from hair that’s a  mess?  I don’t pay much attention to your hair.

Joan:  I’ll bet you pay attention to Emily’s hair.

Lou:  Ah, but Emily is Emily, and you are my cousin.

Joan:  Of all the times to be stuck with an uncle and a boy cousin.  Oh, if only Bonita were here already. What a girl needs at a moment like this  is reinforcements.

 

To be continued …

Click here to read Campfire Creepers 3: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum(part 4)

 

copyright 2017 r.k.morris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Campfire Creepers, Milford Theatre, Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum, Uncategorized

Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part2)

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Get some chills and laughs, inspired by the classic horror and comedy-mystery films of the past. Fun for all ages. Grab a part, break a leg, and ham on!

Click here to read Campfire Creepers Three: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 1)

Uncle Charlie:  Always a pleasure Lou. But now enough about these other young women.  Tell me about your Emily.

Lou:  Uncle Charlie!

Uncle Charlie:  Yes Lou?

Lou: What you just said.

Uncle Charlie:  What I just said?

Lou:  Yes.  It was music to my ears.

Uncle Charlie:  Ah, you mean ‘tell me about your Emily’?

Lou: That’s it! Say it again please, Uncle Charlie.

Uncle Charlie;  Very well.  Tell me about your Emily.

Lou:  Thank you.

Uncle Charlie: Well?

Lou: Well what?

Uncle Charlie:  Aren’t you going to tell me about her?

Lou:  Didn’t I already tell you that she’s sweet and doesn’t laugh at me and is a cutie-pie, and oh, did I mention that I think she’s wonderful?  My greatest dream right now is to take her to the homecoming dance.

Uncle Charlie:  She sounds like a wonderful girl Lou.  How does she feel about you?

Lou: I don’t know.

Uncle Charlie:  You don’t know?  Well then, what was her response when you asked her to the dance?

Lou:  I don’t know.

Uncle Charlie:   You mean you haven’t asked her?

Lou: No.

Uncle Charlie:  Oh, I get it, cold feet.

Lou:  How’s that?

Uncle Charlie:  I said ‘cold feet’.

Lou: Oh, cold feet?  I don’t know.

Uncle Charlie:  What do you mean you don’t know?

Lou:  Well, I mean, I’ve hardly even spoken to Emily, and I would feel kind of silly asking her to take her shoes off.

Uncle Charlie:  Not her feet, Lou, yours!  Cold feet is an expression that means you lost your nerve .

Lou: Oh, lost your nerve is cold feet?  I think I’ve got cold body.  I don’t even think I ever had the nerve to tell Emily how much I like her to lose it in the first place.

Uncle Charlie:  I’m sure that makes sense somehow, if we only had the time to figure it out.  You say you have at least spoken to her?

Lou:  Yes, well, I guess you could say I have.

Uncle Charlie:  Hmm, you guess I could.  What did you say?

Lou: Not much.

Uncle Charlie:  Did you tell her your name?

Lou: I tried, but I had a little trouble.

Uncle Charlie: What exactly did you say?

Lou:  I think it was something like Urk.

Uncle Charlie: Uk?

Lou:  No, Urk.

Uncle Charlie:  You tried to tell her your name and all you said was Urk?  How do you get Urk from Lou?

Lou:  I’m not sure, Uncle Charlie, but I think the L kind of got stuck in my throat, did a back flip and came out the other side as an rk.

Uncle Charlie:  So does this girl even know your name?

Lou:  Oh sure, she’s heard the teacher call on me.

Uncle Charlie:  That’s a start at least.  And does Emily ever talk to you?

Lou:  Does she!  Her voice is like the voice of an angel.  Her words are like music from heaven.

Uncle Charlie:  Now we’re getting somewhere.  What does this angelic voice say to you?

Lou:  Well, one day she say ‘Hi Lou”, and another time she said ‘How are you today?’. Oh, and wait till you hear this, just the other day she told me she thought I gave a good answer when the teacher called on me in class.

Uncle Charlie:  That’s pretty strong stuff, I can see why you’re all a twitter.  But from what I can tell you’re leaving this poor girl to do all the talking.  You say you haven’t been able to tell her your name, but have you at least been able to speak her name?

Lou:  You mean Emily?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes, Emily.

Lou:  I just spoke it just now.

Uncle Charlie:  Yes, but that’s to me.  What about to her?  Does she sit near you in your class together?

Lou:  Yes.  Emily and I sit right next to each other.  Sometimes our desks practically touch.

Uncle Charlie:  Fine then.  I want you to pretend that you are sitting at your desk in class, and that I am Emily and I am sitting at my desk right next to yours.

Lou:  With our desks practically touching?

Uncle Charlie: More than that Lou, with our desks actually touching.  Now remember, we’re pretending that I am Emily, and I want you to look at me and speak my name, just like you would in class to the real Emily.

Lou:  Okay, here goes, just like I would say to the real  E-grgglee. . .

Uncle Charlie:  Try that again Lou, I didn’t quite get it.

Lou: Grggle. . .s.s.s.(hic. . .hic)

Uncle Charlie:  Oh, this is fine.  You two would make  quite a couple at the homecoming dance.  All you can say is Urk and make gargling noises.  Your ability to carry on a conversation with this poor girl will be severely limited, unless by some chance she speaks cave-man.

Lou:  I’m sorry Uncle Charlie.  Maybe I’m just hopeless.

Uncle Charlie:  Never give up hope, my boy.  There must be some way to help you with this debilitating shyness.  What we need is the feminine perspective on this.  Joan, do either you or Bonita  have a beau?

 

To be continued. . .

Click here to read Campfire Creepers Three–Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 3)

 

copyright 2017 r.k.morris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Campfire Creepers, Milford Theatre, Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum, Uncategorized

Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (Act One, part 1)

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Get some chills and laughs, inspired by the classic horror and comedy-mystery films of the past. Fun for all ages. Grab a part, break a leg, and ham on!

Cast of Characters:

Uncle Charlie,

Four cousins:

Joan,  niece of Uncle Charlie, a student at Milford High School

Lou , nephew of Uncle Charlie, also a student at MHS

Bonita, niece of Uncle Charlie, student at MHS

Huntz, nephew of Uncle Charlie, student at MHS

Cesar:  a handsome young  (mid-twenties) visitor from Carpathian Mountains

Ilinca, betrothed to Cesar, attractive young (early to mid-twenties), high -spirited woman from Carpathian Mountains.

Grigore (Uncle Grigore),  uncle of Ilinca

Mort (Mortimer), childhood friend of Uncle Charlie.  Artistic and chemical genius, owner of mysterious Milford Wax Museum. 

The Professor, Sinister man behind the plot.

Plamen, frightening henchman of the Professor.

…

 

Setting:  The gazebo in Center Street Park in Milford MI.  Daytime , early autumn.  Uncle Charlie, Lou and Joan.  Uncle Charlie is holding an upright vacuum cleaner.

Uncle Charlie:  Imagine running into you two like this.  I wonder if Bonita and Huntz are around her somewhere, perhaps looking for Pokémon, like all these other people?

Joan:  They should be around any minute.  We told Bonita and Huntz we would meet them here at the gazebo.

Uncle Charlie:  Well then, what shall we do when the gangs all here?  I have a few moments between errands.  Tell me, what has been going on with you two since our last get together at the corn roast?

Joan:  You know, Uncle Charlie, same old thing:  another school year.

Uncle Charlie: Ah,  a fresh year to start learning anew!

Lou:  And homework.

Joan:  New classes, new teachers, catching up with old friends.

Uncle Charlie:  Picking up the threads with old acquaintances, making new ones–

Lou:  And homework.

Joan:  Then there’s the choir.  We’re just getting started, but there are a lot of concerts and other events throughout the year.  It’s going to be very busy.

Uncle Charlie:  Ah, the wonderful, wide spectrum of the performing arts: vocal music, the theatre, the band;  the spectacle of the marching band performing during halftime, or marching down this very street  for the Thanksgiving Parade;the intellectual rigors of debate, the science clubs and competitions;  the vast range of the athletic arena: the gridiron, the court, the diamond to name but a few, the heroic efforts, the thrilling victories, the heartbreaking defeats–

Lou: The homework.

Uncle Charlie:  Lou, you seem to have a one track mind.

Lou:  I don’t have a one track mind Uncle Charlie.

Uncle Charlie:  My dear nephew, the whole time Joan has been telling me all about the many things going on in her sophomore year of high school,  all you have been able to contribute to the conversation is  ‘homework’.  If that isn’t a one track mind, I’d like to know what is.  What is this strange obsession you have with homework, aren’t you  getting enough?

Lou: Not getting enough!  Are you kidding?  Everyday I take my homework to school with me.  I drop the homework off with my teachers in each one of my classes.  I always feel  kind of sad because I worked so hard on it, but I tear myself away and say bye-bye to the homework and I start to feel pretty good, but then every day when I leave school to go home–BAM– I’ve got more homework.  I just can’t seem to shake it.

Uncle Charlie:  Lou, am I to understand that you think you have too much homework?

Lou:  Uncle Charlie, you never spoke a truer word.

Uncle Charlie:  Why Lou, I’m surprised at you.  Homework is like the pick and shovel to the goldmine of knowledge that rewards those who work for it.  Imagine yourself as a prospector–

Lou: A what?

Uncle Charlie:  A prospector.  Prospector.  You know what a prospector is, don’t you?

Lou:  Sure, Uncle Charlie.  A prospector is the guy who stands in front of the judge and jury and tries to prove the guy on trial  did it.

Uncle Charlie:  No, no, that’s a prosecutor.

Lou: I thought prosecutor was a kind of  ham.

Uncle Charlie:  No, that’s prosciutto.

Lou: Pros – what now?

Uncle Charlie:  Prosciutto.  Prosciutto.

Lou: Gazoontyke.

Uncle Charlie:  I didn’t sneeze.  I was trying to tell you the name of that ham.

Lou:  Oh yeah.  What was it again?

Uncle Charlie: Prosciutto.

Lou: Can you spell that?

Uncle Charlie:  Let’s see. P as in pineapple, R as in rosebud, O as in ostrich, S as in sasquatch, C as in cutie–

Lou: Is cutie a real word?

Uncle Charlie:  Alright then, cute, cutie, cutie-pie, take you pick.  Now where was I?  Ah yes, I as in incoherent, U as in unintelligible–

Lou: That reminds me of a girl.

Uncle Charlie:  Incoherent, or unintelligible?

Lou:  No, what you said before that.

Uncle Charlie:  Sasquatch reminds you of a girl?

Lou;  No, in between.  Cute, cutie, cutie-pie, take you pick.

Uncle Charlie:  Oh, I see.  There is a certain young lady to whom you are particularly attracted?

Lou: Yeah, and I think she’s sweet too.  And you know what else?  She’s about the only girl in school who doesn’t seem like she’s about to bust out laughing every time she looks at me.

Uncle Charlie:  What do you do to elicit such a reaction from the rest of the female contingent of your school?

Lou:  Nothing!  That’s just it.  Emily, that’s her name, Emily is the only girl in the school who takes me seriously.  She’s almost  the only one who doesn’t make me feel the biggest, dumbest dope in the whole place.

Uncle Charlie:  Possibly Lou you are being over critical of the other young ladies’  opinion of you.

Lou:  You think so Uncle Charlie?  Boy, I sure hope so.  Some days it’s awful hard to go to school when you feel  like you’re just a big jerk.

Uncle Charlie:  But you’re not a big jerk Lou.  You know that.

Lou:  Yeah, I know. Thanks for reminding me,  Uncle Charlie.

 

To be continued . . .

 

Click here to read Campfire Creepers Three– Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part2)

 

 

copyright 2017 r.k.morris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media post version Part1)

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Editor’s note:  A scenario in several parts to add  to that pastime of telling scary stories around a campfire, or wherever friends and family gather. 

Which part will you play?  Uncle Charlie? Bonita, or one of her cousins?  How about one of the Mysterious voices?  Are you brave enough to take the role of Joe?  Enjoy.

(The facebook edition is the  same as the original, except that it is divided into smaller parts more suitable for posting on social media.  Click here to read the undivided original version  Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head.)

 

The characters:

Joe

Charlie

Mysterious Voice #1

Mysterious Voice #2

Uncle Charlie

Bonita

Joan

Huntz

Lou

The scene:  A campsite at night.  A fire is blazing in a fire pit.  Tents and equipment in the background.  Five campers are seated around the fire.

Huntz:  Sure is a dark night.

Joan:  Look at all those stars.

Uncle Charlie:  You kids get everything cleaned up and put away from dinner?

Bonita, Joan , Huntz, Lou:  Yes.

Bonita:  Everybody ready for some music?  I brought my guitar.

Huntz:  Not yet. I want to hear a ghost story first, then music after, so I can get to sleep.

Lou:  Could we just skip the ghost story please?

Joan:  What’s the matter Lou, afraid of a little campfire creepers?

Lou:  The creepers I get are not the little kind.  I can play percussion on the spoons.

Huntz:  No, let’s hear a story first.  Who knows a good ghost story?

Uncle Charlie:  I don’t know a ghost story, but I do know a pretty scary story, and it happens to be true.

Bonita:  Go on Uncle Charlie, tell us.

Uncle Charlie:  Well, it started out on a night just like this night, at a campsite, just like this one, out in the middle of nowhere, miles from anywhere and anyone.  At least that’s what Joe and Charlie thought when they settled down in front of the fire,  after dinner, just like we are now…

Joe:  Sure is a dark night.

Charlie: Yeah, look at all those stars.

Joe: I wonder if there are any other people out here.

Charlie:  I doubt it.  I haven’t seen a living soul for miles.

Joe: You think I should chop more wood for the fire?

Charlie:  I’ll check.  Looks like plenty.  I cut some up earlier.  That axe of yours really does the job.

Joe:  Yeah, I just had it sharpened.  I knew we’d put it to good use out here.

Charlie: That thing cut through the kindling like nothing, and even went through the bigger stuff with ease.  I bet  it would go right through bone.

Joe:  Bone?  Who wants to cut through bone?

Charlie:  Nobody, I just meant that when I was chopping wood and felt how sharp that axe was, I thought of what would happen if my hand slipped. I wouldn’t want to lose a toe, or even a whole foot.

Joe: No, you wouldn’t want to chop your foot off.  Especially not out here, miles from anywhere.  That’s why you’ve got to be careful when you chop something with an axe.

Charlie: Real careful. You get enough to eat?

Joe;  Yeah, Nothing like dinner under the stars.  I bet I’ll really rest tonight.

Charlie:  Yeah.  Me too, but don’t forget about lunch tomorrow.

Joe:  That’s gonna be something special.  You’re in for a real treat.

Charlie:  We’ll see who gets the treat.  Remember I’ve got my own recipe. Everything’s right there in the cooler, ready to go. You’ll find out how a master does it.

Joe:  Charlie my boy, you might as well give up now.  Tomorrow afternoon, your taste buds are going to declare me the winner.

Charlie:  Wait and see Joe, just wait–hey, did you hear that?

Joe;  What?  I didn’t hear anything

Charlie:  Something strange.  A kind of wailing, out there, in the night.  Sounded like a child , you know, like a kid who’s lost and crying for his mamma, but too scared to be really loud, just kind of wailing, low and mournful.

Joe:  Cut it out Charlie, you must be hearing things.  No kids out here anyway.  If you heard anything it was probably just an animal.

Charlie:  There it goes again.

Joe:  I hear it now too.  And rustling in the bushes.   Something is moving out there in the dark.  I can’t tell for sure,  but it seems to be  getting closer.

Charlie: What kind of animal makes a sound like that?  It’s giving me the creeps.

Joe:  Probably raccoons, or maybe coyotes.  They can make some pretty weird noises.

Charlie:  I don’t know.  I don’t think that’s any animal.  A sound like that could only be made by a human.

Joe:  Charlie, there aren’t any people around here besides you and I.  There can’t be.  We didn’t pass any other campsites.  I can’t even remember  when we last saw a car, and the only building for miles is that deserted looking farmers stand back by the main road.

Charlie:  Just the same, there it is again.  I’m going to  find out.

Joe:  Wait, Charlie.  Don’t go out there.

Charlie:  What?  Why not?

Joe: I don’t think it’s safe out there.  I just remembered something.

Charlie:  What?  What did you remember Joe?

Joe:  I read some stories online about a group, a cult or something, that supposedly does bizarre rituals out in these woods.

Charlie:  This is a fine time to remember.  Why didn’t you think of that before we came out here?  There it is again.  I think they’re getting closer.

Joe:  I didn’t take it seriously.  I thought it was just  an online legend or hoax.

Charlie:  Those are definitely human sounds Joe,  and they’re starting to surround the campsite.  Come on, we’ve got to get out of here!

Joe:  Wait.  It’s too late!

Charlie:  What the–?  Where did that come from?

Joe:  Someone threw it in from out of the darkness just beyond the light of our fire.

Charlie:  Did you hear the sound it made when it landed. It must be heavy.

Joe:  Yeah, I heard it, a real thud.  It rolled pretty close to you after it landed.  Can you tell what it is?

Charlie:  Something in a brown paper bag.  Something about the size of a bowling ball.

Joe:  What is it Charlie?  What’s in the bag?

Charlie:  I don’t know.  I’m reaching in.  I can’t tell, but it feels like, like…

Joe: Like what?  What is it?

Charlie:  It’s a  head.

Joe:  A head?

Charlie:  Yes,  a head, or rather, half a head.  Whoever did this must have used an incredibly sharp instrument.  It’s cut clean through the middle, not even the slightest fraying.

Joe:  Cut clean through the middle!  I  think I’m going to be sick.  Do you suppose there’s any chance of, of identifying  the, the– maybe in the daylight?

Charlie: I don’t know.   If I could just get my fingers around it.  Yes it definitely feels like– I don’t know if I can–  it’s a little bit slippery, but if I can just hold on without dropping it and get it out and get a good look.

Joe:  Don’t, I can’t watch.

 

Continued in Campfire Creepers:  Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part 2)

 

copyright 2016 r.k.morris

 

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Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part 1)

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Editor’s note:  A scenario in several parts to add  to that pastime of telling scary stories around a campfire, or wherever friends and family gather.

Which part will you play?  Uncle Charlie? Bonita, or one of her cousins?  How about one of the Mysterious voices?  Are you brave enough to take the role of Joe?  Enjoy.

(The facebook edition is the  same as the original, except that it is divided into smaller parts more suitable for posting on social media.  Click here to read the undivided original version  Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head.)

 

The characters:

Joe

Charlie

Mysterious Voice #1

Mysterious Voice #2

Uncle Charlie

Bonita

Joan

Huntz

Lou

The scene:  A campsite at night.  A fire is blazing in a fire pit.  Tents and equipment in the background.  Five campers are seated around the fire.

Huntz:  Sure is a dark night.

Joan:  Look at all those stars.

Uncle Charlie:  You kids get everything cleaned up and put away from dinner?

Bonita, Joan , Huntz, Lou:  Yes.

Bonita:  Everybody ready for some music?  I brought my guitar.

Huntz:  Not yet. I want to hear a ghost story first, then music after, so I can get to sleep.

Lou:  Could we just skip the ghost story please?

Joan:  What’s the matter Lou, afraid of a little campfire creepers?

Lou:  The creepers I get are not the little kind.  I can play percussion on the spoons.

Huntz:  No, let’s hear a story first.  Who knows a good ghost story?

Uncle Charlie:  I don’t know a ghost story, but I do know a pretty scary story, and it happens to be true.

Bonita:  Go on Uncle Charlie, tell us.

Uncle Charlie:  Well, it started out on a night just like this night, at a campsite, just like this one, out in the middle of nowhere, miles from anywhere and anyone.  At least that’s what Joe and Charlie thought when they settled down in front of the fire,  after dinner, just like we are now…

Joe:  Sure is a dark night.

Charlie: Yeah, look at all those stars.

Joe: I wonder if there are any other people out here.

Charlie:  I doubt it.  I haven’t seen a living soul for miles.

Joe: You think I should chop more wood for the fire?

Charlie:  I’ll check.  Looks like plenty.  I cut some up earlier.  That axe of yours really does the job.

Joe:  Yeah, I just had it sharpened.  I knew we’d put it to good use out here.

Charlie: That thing cut through the kindling like nothing, and even went through the bigger stuff with ease.  I bet  it would go right through bone.

Joe:  Bone?  Who wants to cut through bone?

Charlie:  Nobody, I just meant that when I was chopping wood and felt how sharp that axe was, I thought of what would happen if my hand slipped. I wouldn’t want to lose a toe, or even a whole foot.

Joe: No, you wouldn’t want to chop your foot off.  Especially not out here, miles from anywhere.  That’s why you’ve got to be careful when you chop something with an axe.

Charlie: Real careful. You get enough to eat?

Joe;  Yeah, Nothing like dinner under the stars.  I bet I’ll really rest tonight.

Charlie:  Yeah.  Me too, but don’t forget about lunch tomorrow.

Joe:  That’s gonna be something special.  You’re in for a real treat.

Charlie:  We’ll see who gets the treat.  Remember I’ve got my own recipe. Everything’s right there in the cooler, ready to go. You’ll find out how a master does it.

Joe:  Charlie my boy, you might as well give up now.  Tomorrow afternoon, your taste buds are going to declare me the winner.

Charlie:  Wait and see Joe, just wait–hey, did you hear that?

Joe;  What?  I didn’t hear anything

Charlie:  Something strange.  A kind of wailing, out there, in the night.  Sounded like a child , you know, like a kid who’s lost and crying for his mamma, but too scared to be really loud, just kind of wailing, low and mournful.

Joe:  Cut it out Charlie, you must be hearing things.  No kids out here anyway.  If you heard anything it was probably just an animal.

Charlie:  There it goes again.

Joe:  I hear it now too.  And rustling in the bushes.   Something is moving out there in the dark.  I can’t tell for sure,  but it seems to be  getting closer.

Charlie: What kind of animal makes a sound like that?  It’s giving me the creeps.

Joe:  Probably raccoons, or maybe coyotes.  They can make some pretty weird noises.

Charlie:  I don’t know.  I don’t think that’s any animal.  A sound like that could only be made by a human.

Joe:  Charlie, there aren’t any people around here besides you and I.  There can’t be.  We didn’t pass any other campsites.  I can’t even remember  when we last saw a car, and the only building for miles is that deserted looking farmers stand back by the main road.

Charlie:  Just the same, there it is again.  I’m going to  find out.

Joe:  Wait, Charlie.  Don’t go out there.

Charlie:  What?  Why not?

Joe: I don’t think it’s safe out there.  I just remembered something.

Charlie:  What?  What did you remember Joe?

Joe:  I read some stories online about a group, a cult or something, that supposedly does bizarre rituals out in these woods.

Charlie:  This is a fine time to remember.  Why didn’t you think of that before we came out here?  There it is again.  I think they’re getting closer.

Joe:  I didn’t take it seriously.  I thought it was just  an online legend or hoax.

Charlie:  Those are definitely human sounds Joe,  and they’re starting to surround the campsite.  Come on, we’ve got to get out of here!

Joe:  Wait.  It’s too late!

Charlie:  What the–?  Where did that come from?

Joe:  Someone threw it in from out of the darkness just beyond the light of our fire.

Charlie:  Did you hear the sound it made when it landed. It must be heavy.

Joe:  Yeah, I heard it, a real thud.  It rolled pretty close to you after it landed.  Can you tell what it is?

Charlie:  Something in a brown paper bag.  Something about the size of a bowling ball.

Joe:  What is it Charlie?  What’s in the bag?

Charlie:  I don’t know.  I’m reaching in.  I can’t tell, but it feels like, like…

Joe: Like what?  What is it?

Charlie:  It’s a  head.

Joe:  A head?

Charlie:  Yes,  a head, or rather, half a head.  Whoever did this must have used an incredibly sharp instrument.  It’s cut clean through the middle, not even the slightest fraying.

Joe:  Cut clean through the middle.  I  think I’m going to be sick.  Do you suppose there’s any chance of, of identifying  the, the– maybe in the daylight?

Charlie: I don’t know.   If I could just get my fingers around it.  Yes it definitely feels like– I don’t know if I can–  it’s a little bit slippery, but if I can just hold on without dropping it and get it out and get a good look.

Joe:  Don’t, I can’t watch.

 

Continued in Campfire Creepers:  Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part 2)

 

copyright 2016 r.k.morris

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Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part3)

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Continued from Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part 2).

Click here to read the full version Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head.

Charlie:  I might have known.    Well, I might as well know this too; how are you going to prepare it?

Mysterious Voice #1:  Oh, I don’t know, a little seasoning, perhaps some olives, and tomato, and balsamic vinegar.

Charlie:  Balsamic vinegar?  Joe would appreciate that.  He favored balsamic vinegar.

Mysterious Voice #1:  Would you care to join us?

Charlie:  I don’t think I could.  Not after what I’ve done.  Look at him, lying there.  Poor Joe.  I’m sorry old friend.  I suppose I should do something with the rest of Joe’s…  You might as well have it.

Mysterious Voice #1  Are you sure?  We only gave you half a head.

Charlie”  Yes.  Yes, I’m sure Joe would have wanted it this way.  You might as well have the other half too, as long as you eat it while it’s fresh.

Mysterious Voice #1:  This is most generous of you.

Charlie:  That’s all right.  Besides, Joe has another one at home, even bigger than this.

Mysterious Voice #1:  Even bigger?

Charlie:  Yes, he’s been growing it for some time.  He tried to keep it a secret, but I found out, I’ve  been watching it for weeks now.  Joe’s other head is huge, practically monstrous.

Mysterious Voice #1:  It would have to be, to be bigger than this.

Charlie:  But completely organic.  No chemicals, no sir, not in Joe’s garden.  He always has been the better gardener, and I’ve known it all along.  Every year we find a new place to get away and have our own private home grown salad competition.  I always find a way to keep it close, sometimes I even win, but this year I knew I didn’t stand a chance, not with lettuce like that.

Lou:  WAIT A MINUTE!  WAIT A MINUTE!

Uncle Charlie:  Yes Lou, what is it?

Lou:  You mean the whole time all those Creeper Keeper people wanted was for this Charlie guy to give them a head of lettuce?

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right Lou.

Lou:  And this Charlie guy, which was really you,  took the axe to cut it in half and his friend Joe was so upset when he knew what Charlie, that is you, were going to do with the axe that he passed out?

Uncle Charlie.  You’ve followed the tale completely Lou, why do you ask?

Lou:  Why do I ask?  I’ll tell you why do I ask.  Because I’ve been hiding under my sleeping bag for twenty minutes all because a couple of guys are gonna trade a half a head of cabbage for a half a head of lettuce, that’s why do I ask.  You call that a scary story?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes Lou.  It did scare you, didn’t it?

Lou: You bet it did.

Bonita:  Then why are you so upset Lou?

Lou:  Because I’m  ashamed of myself.  I’m just a big scaredy-cat.

Uncle Charlie:  That’s nothing to be ashamed of Lou.  The story was supposed to scare you.  Look at brave Huntz, wedged between his two cousins.  You think he wasn’t scared?

Lou:  What about Bonita and Joan?  They don’t look scared at all.

Uncle Charlie:  What about it girls?

Joan:  Well, I might have been a little scared at first, before I figured it out.

Bonita:  I have to confess I was just a teensy bit frightened when I thought you really–oh but of course it was all such a funny story.  You really had Lou and Huntz going.

Huntz:  That’s all right girls, you can let go of my arms now, I’m starting to loose circulation, and please take your fingernails with you.

Uncle Charlie:  See Lou, everyone was scared.  There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Lou: And nothing bad really happened.  You just told the story to make us think bad things were happening, but it was just the way you told it, just to make it seem scary, right.

Uncle Charlie:  That’s right Lou.

Lou: And those Creeper Keeper guys.  They weren’t really bad?

Uncle Charlie:  Not at all.  The nicest fellows actually.  You remember that deserted looking farm stand Joe and I saw by the road?  That was theirs.  We’re friends on Facebook now, and they even have Amazon Prime.  I helped them go organic, and their deserted farm stand is now a thriving organic produce and health care market.  They even sell all natural skin moisturizers.

Lou:  And Joe, he was just passed out, but he woke up and you guys are still friends?

Uncle Charlie:  No.  I’m afraid Joe’s  is the one part of the story that did not turn out happy.  Seems he never did recover from the shock of seeing what I did to his head of lettuce with that axe.  Oh, we went back home as friends all right, but I could tell right away that something was different.  Joe was never the same gardener as he had been before that night.  His other head of lettuce, the one that was even bigger than the one I traded, it soon turned brown and died.  No matter how he tried, Joe just couldn’t get a good yield after that.  He had lost his green thumb for good.

Bonita:  That’s sad.  I feel sorry for Joe.

Uncle Charlie:  Yes, and that isn’t the worst of it.  Joe blamed me for causing him to loose his gardening skill.  I guess he is right in a way, but he swore revenge on me.  Started following me around with a sharp axe, garden tools, and the like, and said he would make me pay for what I had done.

Bonita: Make you pay?  Did he say how?

Uncle Charlie:  He didn’t need to.  I could read the look in his eyes.  Then there was time with the reaping sickle.  I barely managed to dodge that one.

Joan:  A reaping sickle?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes, that would have made my little story tonight seem like a fairy tale in comparison.  But, we don’t have to worry about Joe anymore.  It’s not likely that he will escape.

Lou:  Escape?

Uncle Charlie: Yes, from the mental institution.

Joan: The mental institution?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes.  For the criminally insane.  Oh don’t look so worried.  No one has escaped from that institution in years.

Huntz:  That’s sure a relief.

Uncle Charlie:  Yes, it was many years ago.  I would have been about your age, in fact, and I was quite concerned when my Uncle Fred, your Grandpa Fred, told me about it because, well the place is just a mile or so from here, which is why this area is so deserted, and we were camping not far from here.  Not far at all;  in fact I think it might have been this very spot.  I do believe I recognize that tree with the huge gash in the trunk.  That’s where Uncle Fred went to find out what was making those strange noises in the dark.  Of course the stains on the bark have faded over the years, but I think that is the tree–

Lou:  Uncle Charlie?

Uncle Charlie:  Yes Lou.

Lou:  Please tell me you still raise a garden.

Uncle Charlie:  Of course I do Lou.

Lou: And Uncle Charlie.

Uncle Charlie:  Yes Lou?

Lou:  Please tell me you brought cabbages with you tonight, and that that is not your friend Crazy Joe hurling them out of the woods.

Uncle Charlie:  What?  One, two, three four cabbages, all chopped clean in half.! Kids?

Bonita, Joan, Huntz, Lou:  Yes?

Uncle Charlie:  RUN!!

All:  WAAAAAAA!!

 

Epilogue and Editor’s note.  Every person in this scenario made it safely home at the scheduled end of the camping trip.  Joe really didn’t go crazy and swear revenge on Uncle Charlie, but he was hiding out in the bushes, hurling cabbages as he and Charlie had pre-arranged.  The camping trip became an annual tradition for Charlie and his nieces and nephews, and Charlie devoted much time and energy  to come up with new Campfire Creepers for his beloved family.

This scenario draws inspiration from several sources, notably the comedy-mystery movies of the 1940’s, also many of the mystery radio shows of the Golden Age of Radio,  from which I learned the device of having the characters describe their own actions in such deliberate detail.  The Sirius/XM channel Radio Classics, hosted by Greg Bell (gregbellmedia.com),  has been a great boon in providing listening opportunities for this important but sadly mostly forgotten form of story telling and entertainment. 

  I have also drawn some inspiration from a recent decade:  the Nickelodeon animated series Avatar: The Last Airbender,  created by Michael Dante DiMartino  and  Brian Konietzko,  and the  Puppetmaster episode  in which the main characters are encamped one night.  Sokka has been trying without success to frighten the others with ghost stories, when  Katara   says she remembers a true story that she tells with chilling effect.

Bonita is for Bonita Granville, whose many screen credits include playing Nancy Drew in several Nancy Drew  mystery motion pictures in the 1930’s

Joan is for Joan Davis, comic actress who appeared in many motion pictures, including the  1941 Abbott and Costello comedy-mystery  Hold that Ghost.

Huntz is for Huntz Hall of the Dead End Kids/ Bowery Boys team, whose films include several comedy-mysteries.

Lou if for Lou Costello, of the comedy team Abbott and Costello, whose film credits included several comedy-mysteries, including the aforementioned Hold that Ghost.

Thanks for reading.  I hope this scenario provides chills and laughs and a shared experience for you, your family, and friends.

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Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part 2)

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Continued from  Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part1)

 

Charlie:  That’s okay.  I’ve removed it from the bag.  Just as I thought, this head is a very fine cabbage.

Joe:  Cabbage?  Did you say cabbage?

Charlie:  Yes,  cabbage.

Joe:  You had me terrified all this time about a head of cabbage?  Why didn’t you specify “A HEAD OF CABBAGE,”  instead of just saying “A head”?

Charlie:  I wanted to be sure.  I thought there was just the slightest chance it was lettuce, but I knew from the sound it made when it landed that it was probably too heavy to be lettuce.  Still, I had to make sure.  I know how you don’t like cabbage.

Joe: Never mind how I don’t like cabbage.  You had me believing there was a human head in that bag.

Charlie: A human head ?  You  thought there was a human head in this  bag?

Joe:  Yes, a human head.  Or actually half a human head,  which is even worse.

Charlie:  Come on Joe,  that’s crazy.  I mean, seriously,  what kind of person would do something like that?

Joe:  Someone pretty bad?

Charlie:  Hold on  a minute.  What are we talking about Joe?  Nobody cut off anybody’s head.  That was just a cabbage in that bag, remember?

Joe: Yeah, that’s right.  It was just a cabbage.

Charlie:  We’re getting all creeped out over a head of cabbage.

Joe: Yeah, a head of cabbage.  That’s pretty funny.  Imagine that.

Charlie:  Boy, do I feel relieved.

Joe:  Charlie, there’s just one thing I want to know.

Charlie:  Yeah Joe, what’s that?

Joe:  Who threw that cabbage?

Charlie:  You’re right, somebody threw it.

Joe:  Somebody out there.

Charlie: In  the dark.

Joe: Surrounding us.

Charlie:  Somebody with an incredibly sharp instrument.

Joe: What do you suppose they want?

Charlie: Probably just some pranksters, trying to frighten us for laughs.

Joe:  Yeah, and it worked.

Charlie:  YOU OUT THERE!

Joe: Did you hear that, they’re laughing at us.

Charlie:   YOU’VE HAD YOUR LAUGH.   NOW,  WHO ARE YOU?

Mysterious  voice #1:  We are The Keepers of the Dark Wood.

Charlie:  The Keepers of the Dark Wood?

Mysterious Voice #2: Yes, you’ve heard of us?

Charlie: No.

Mysterious Voice #2: We’re on Facebook.

Charlie: No

Mysterious Voice#2: Twitter?

Joe: Afraid not.

Mysterious Voice#2 Instagram? Snapchat?

Charlie:  Sorry, nothing.

Mysterious Voice #1: Enough!  Stop this useless babbling.  We are here to trade with you.

Charlie:  Trade, what kind of a trade?

Mysterious Voice #1:  A fair trade.   A one for one trade.

Joe:   We don’t appreciate your little prank. Suppose we don’t want to trade with you?

Mysterious Voice #1:  You are trespassers in the Dark Wood.  There are penalties for that, if we choose to be unpleasant.  And besides, we could just take what we want.  If you are wise, you will accept the offer to trade.

Charlie:  Tell us first what you want to trade.

Mysterious Voice #1:  You have our trade item in your hand.

Charlie:  This?  The cabbage?

Mysterious Voice #1:  That is correct.  The head of cabbage.

Joe: And in return you want?

Mysterious Voice #1: In return for our head–

Joe: Actually it’s half a head.

Mysterious Voice #1: Very well, in return for our half a head, we want half a head of yours.

Charlie:  You want half of one of our heads?

Mysterious Voice #1:  Come,  come, you have two.  All we ask is half of one.

Charlie:  What you’re suggesting is, is…?

Mysterious Voice #1:  What we are suggesting is that one of you gentleman bring us half of one head between the two that you have.

Charlie: And which of us do you suppose is going to do that?

Mysterious Voice #1:  Naturally I assume that is something you two will settle between yourselves.  I should imagine the one who acts first will manage to decide the matter quickly.  I notice that camp axe near your fire.

Charlie:  What you’re suggesting is–

Mysterious Voice #1 :  I am merely suggesting that one of you execute the trade we have proposed.  The alternative would be unpleasant for both of you.     This way at least one of you can avoid a loss.

Joe:  Charlie, what are you doing?  Come back here.

Charlie:  I’m sorry Joe, but it has to be this way.

Joe:  Charlie, put down that axe!  Charlie, please, in the name of our friendship no!

Charlie:  There’s no other way Joe.  It’s either one or both of us, you heard him.  Joe?  Joe?  I guess the shock was to much for you, old friend, you’ve passed out.  Perhaps it’s just as well, I wouldn’t want to see the look in your eyes when I–well at least this axe is good and sharp.  One quick, solid blow ought to do it.  There!  It’s done.  I’m sorry old friend, but it was yours or mine. YOU OUT THERE, HERE IT IS.

Huntz:  Wait a minute Uncle Charlie, wait a minute!

Uncle Charlie:  Yes Huntz, what is it?

Huntz:  You said this was a true story, right?

Uncle Charle:  That’s right Huntz.

Huntz:  And so far there are only four people in the story.  Two of them are those weird keepers and one of them is this Joe guy and from the sound of it he’s not going to be doing much talking, so how come you know so much about it?

Uncle Charlie:  Why Huntz, I’m surprised you haven’t figured that out by now.

Huntz:  Figured what out, Uncle Charlie?

Joan:  That our Uncle Charlie is the Charlie in the story, Huntz.

Huntz:  What?  Uncle Charlie?  You mean with the axe and the head and Joe laying there on the ground?   Joan, I’m surprised at you.  That’s our Uncle Charlie you’re talking about.

Uncle Charlie:  I’m afraid your cousin is right Huntz.  I am the Charlie in the story.

Huntz:  Meep.

Uncle Charlie:  What was that?

Huntz:  Nothing.  Has anyone seen Lou?

Bonita:  I haven’t seen Lou for a while, but I do see his sleeping bag shivering.

Joan:  Lou?  Lou, are you under there?

Lou:  Leave me alone.   Unless your next words are “We’re getting out of here” just leave me alone.

Huntz:  I agree with Lou.  Uncle Charlie, how could you?

Uncle Charlie:  If you kids will just calm down and let me finish the story,  you will see just how, and what, I really did.

Huntz:  Well, all right.  But you stay on your own side of the fire.  I’m staying here between Joan and Bonita.

Uncle Charlie:    Now,  getting back to the story.   So, there I was, holding my friends head in my hands, and  the voice said.

Mysterious Voice #1:  Bring it to me.

Charlie:  I can’t see very well beyond the campfire.  I’m walking to the sound of your voice.

Mysterious Voice #1:  I’m right here, in the shadows.  Bring it.

Charlie:  Well,  here it is.  I can’t see you, but I can feel your hands;  they’re rough, and cracked, like old leather.

Mysterious Voice #1:  Life is harsh here in the Dark Woods.

Charlie:  Have you tried moisturizer?

Mysterious Voice #1:  We don’t get to the store very often.

Mysterious Voice #2:  I told you about Amazon Prime.  We could get anything we want delivered right here.

Charlie:  He’s right you know.  They even have drones.  No driver, just a little automated flying thingy, delivers the package right here.

Mysterious Voice #2:  Ooh, a drone.    I would love to see a drone.

Mysterious Voice #1: Silence.  I am not interested in drones or moisturizer.  You will hand over your trade item please.

Charlie:  There it is, take it.

Mysterious Voice #1:  Yes, very fine.

Charlie:  Do you mind telling me  what are you going to do with it?

Mysterious Voice #1:  We are going to eat it.

Continued in Campfire Creepers: Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part 2)

 

 

copyright 2016 r.k.morris

 

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Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part1)

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Editor’s note:  A scenario in several parts to add  to that pastime of telling scary stories around a campfire, or wherever friends and family gather, in a format that allows group participation. Enjoy.

(The facebook edition is the  same as the original, except that it is divided into smaller parts more suitable for posting on social media.  Click here to read the undivided original version  Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head.)

 

The characters:

Joe

Charlie

Mysterious Voice #1

Mysterious Voice #2

Uncle Charlie

Bonita

Joan

Huntz

Lou

The scene:  A campsite at night.  A fire is blazing in a fire pit.  Tents and equipment in the background.  Five campers are seated around the fire.

Huntz:  Sure is a dark night.

Joan:  Look at all those stars.

Uncle Charlie:  You kids get everything cleaned up and put away from dinner?

Bonita, Joan , Huntz, Lou:  Yes.

Bonita:  Everybody ready for some music?  I brought my guitar.

Huntz:  Not yet. I want to hear a ghost story first, then music after, so I can get to sleep.

Lou:  Could we just skip the ghost story please?

Joan:  What’s the matter Lou, afraid of a little campfire creepers?

Lou:  The creepers I get are not the little kind.  I can play percussion on the spoons.

Huntz:  No, let’s hear a story first.  Who knows a good ghost story?

Uncle Charlie:  I don’t know a ghost story, but I do know a pretty scary story, and it happens to be true.

Bonita:  Go on Uncle Charlie, tell us.

Uncle Charlie:  Well, it started out on a night just like this night, at a campsite, just like this one, out in the middle of nowhere, miles from anywhere and anyone.  At least that’s what Joe and Charlie thought when they settled down in front of the fire,  after dinner, just like we are now…

Joe:  Sure is a dark night.

Charlie: Yeah, look at all those stars.

Joe: I wonder if there are any other people out here.

Charlie:  I doubt it.  I haven’t seen a living soul for miles.

Joe: You think I should chop more wood for the fire?

Charlie:  I’ll check.  Looks like plenty.  I cut some up earlier.  That axe of yours really does the job.

Joe:  Yeah, I just had it sharpened.  I knew we’d put it to good use out here.

Charlie: That thing cut through the kindling like nothing, and even went through the bigger stuff with ease.  I bet  it would go right through bone.

Joe:  Bone?  Who wants to cut through bone?

Charlie:  Nobody, I just meant that when I was chopping wood and felt how sharp that axe was, I thought of what would happen if my hand slipped. I wouldn’t want to lose a toe, or even a whole foot.

Joe: No, you wouldn’t want to chop your foot off.  Especially not out here, miles from anywhere.  That’s why you’ve got to be careful when you chop something with an axe.

Charlie: Real careful. You get enough to eat?

Joe;  Yeah, Nothing like dinner under the stars.  I bet I’ll really rest tonight.

Charlie:  Yeah.  Me too, but don’t forget about lunch tomorrow.

Joe:  That’s gonna be something special.  You’re in for a real treat.

Charlie:  We’ll see who gets the treat.  Remember I’ve got my own recipe. Everything’s right there in the cooler, ready to go. You’ll find out how a master does it.

Joe:  Charlie my boy, you might as well give up now.  Tomorrow afternoon, your taste buds are going to declare me the winner.

Charlie:  Wait and see Joe, just wait–hey, did you hear that?

Joe;  What?  I didn’t hear anything

Charlie:  Something strange.  A kind of wailing, out there, in the night.  Sounded like a child , you know, like a kid who’s lost and crying for his mamma, but too scared to be really loud, just kind of wailing, low and mournful.

Joe:  Cut it out Charlie, you must be hearing things.  No kids out here anyway.  If you heard anything it was probably just an animal.

Charlie:  There it goes again.

Joe:  I hear it now too.  And rustling in the bushes.   Something is moving out there in the dark.  I can’t tell for sure,  but it seems to be  getting closer.

Charlie: What kind of animal makes a sound like that?  It’s giving me the creeps.

Joe:  Probably raccoons, or maybe coyotes.  They can make some pretty weird noises.

Charlie:  I don’t know.  I don’t think that’s any animal.  A sound like that could only be made by a human.

Joe:  Charlie, there aren’t any people around here besides you and I.  There can’t be.  We didn’t pass any other campsites.  I can’t even remember  when we last saw a car, and the only building for miles is that deserted looking farmers stand back by the main road.

Charlie:  Just the same, there it is again.  I’m going to  find out.

Joe:  Wait, Charlie.  Don’t go out there.

Charlie:  What?  Why not?

Joe: I don’t think it’s safe out there.  I just remembered something.

Charlie:  What?  What did you remember Joe?

Joe:  I read some stories online about a group, a cult or something, that supposedly does bizarre rituals out in these woods.

Charlie:  This is a fine time to remember.  Why didn’t you think of that before we came out here?  There it is again.  I think they’re getting closer.

Joe:  I didn’t take it seriously.  I thought it was just  an online legend or hoax.

Charlie:  Those are definitely human sounds Joe,  and they’re starting to surround the campsite.  Come on, we’ve got to get out of here!

Joe:  Wait.  It’s too late!

Charlie:  What the–?  Where did that come from?

Joe:  Someone threw it in from out of the darkness just beyond the light of our fire.

Charlie:  Did you hear the sound it made when it landed. It must be heavy.

Joe:  Yeah, I heard it, a real thud.  It rolled pretty close to you after it landed.  Can you tell what it is?

Charlie:  Something in a brown paper bag.  Something about the size of a bowling ball.

Joe:  What is it Charlie?  What’s in the bag?

Charlie:  I don’t know.  I’m reaching in.  I can’t tell, but it feels like, like…

Joe: Like what?  What is it?

Charlie:  It’s a  head.

Joe:  A head?

Charlie:  Yes,  a head, or rather, half a head.  Whoever did this must have used an incredibly sharp instrument.  It’s cut clean through the middle, not even the slightest fraying.

Joe:  Cut clean through the middle.  I  think I’m going to be sick.  Do you suppose there’s any chance of, of identifying  the, the– maybe in the daylight?

Charlie: I don’t know.   If I could just get my fingers around it.  Yes it definitely feels like– I don’t know if I can–  it’s a little bit slippery, but if I can just hold on without dropping it and get it out and get a good look.

Joe:  Don’t, I can’t watch.

 

Continued in Campfire Creepers:  Campfire Creepers: My Friends Head (social media edition part 2)

 

copyright 2016 r.k.morris