Get some chills and laughs, inspired by the classic horror and comedy-mystery films of the past. Fun for all ages. Grab a part, break a leg, and ham on!

Mystery-comedy script.  Click here to start at Campfire Creepers Three: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 1)

 

Lou:  Ilinca, I just thought of something.  A silver bullet isn’t any good against the were-wolf, unless you fire it from a rifle.

Ilinca:  Rifle?

Lou:  Yeah, you know, Pow!

Ilinca:  Yeah, rifle.  Well, I tell you  Lou, I no can bring rifle from my country  to America.

Lou:  That’s right, I forgot.  But, when you’re at home, on the nights of the full moon, do you carry a rifle?

Ilinca:  Ah, my little rifle Lou.

Lou:  Your little rifle?

Ilinca:  Ya, my father give me small rifle, was his ever since he was boy.  Papa called it  his squirrel- gun.

Lou:  Did your father hunt squirrel?

Ilinca:  No, he no hunt.  We got plenty food, and no got time be chasing animals with rifle.  He call it squirrel gun because light and easy for small boy or girl to use.  No kick. Papa what you call marksman.

Lou:  A marksman?  You mean he was an expert at hitting targets?

Ilinca:  That’s it, he shoot at targets, always hits the bulls-eyes.  When Papa in military, he win plenty medals for marksmanships.  Because of Papa, his outfit always win shooting competition with other units in military.  After Papa done with service in military, he still like to shoot, so he enter contests whenever he can.  One day he enter big contest with best marksmen from all over whole region, and what you think?

Lou: Did your father win?

Ilinca:  You bet he won.  And you know what else?  First prize for winner was brand new rifle.  Finest rifle made for target shooting.  Papa very happy with prize rifle, but he still like his little squirrel gun.  So he teach me all about safety, how to clean rifle,  everything he learn in military, and how to shoot, be expert shot like him,  then he give me his squirrel gun, so I have rifle to shoot silver bullet at were-wolf.

Lou:  I bet you felt safer, having that squirrel gun with you during a full moon, just in case.

Ilinca:  Ya, was good feeling to know I was prepared, just in case.  Was good little rifle, I was good shot too.  I miss my little squirrel gun, especially when is full moon.

Lou:  Miss it? What happened?

Ilinca:  Is long story Lou.  Start six, seven years ago, when I little girl.  I really not follow story because I so young, Uncle Grigore, he follow story.  What I learn from him is that about that time we have big change in our country.

Lou:  Big change?

Ilinca;  Ya, new leaders get elected, start passing all kind of laws, make government bigger, say they going to do all kinds of things for the people.

Lou: What kinds of things?

Ilinca: I don’t know.  Uncle Grigore, he maybe know.  One thing I tell you is I keep hearing how people not get along so well like when I was little girl, but I say to myself, what happened?  We same people as before, now with new government we told we no get along with each other, how this possible?

Lou:  Sure sounds strange.  So what happened to your rifle?

Ilinca:  Oh, ya.  Remember I tell you government started passing all kind of laws?  One day they pass law make it illegal for citizen to own gun.

Lou:  Did they come to your house?

Ilinca:  No, one night, during full moon, I was out with torch and silver bullet and squirrel gun–

Lou:  And your cross.

Ilinca:  Ya, and cross, right here.  Anyway, there  I was, keeping eye out for vampire and were-wolves, when what you think?  Man see me,  shout, ‘hey little girl, what you got there? ‘ then come up to me, looking at me like I some kind of criminal, he show me what you call– credentials from government, and he say  I no more can own this rifle, and he take it from me.

Lou: Just like that?

Ilinca:  Ya.  Big government take my squirrel-gun away.

Lou:  So now what will you do if you see a were-wolf?

Ilinca:  Now what I do?  I show were-wolf silver bullet and hope for best.

Lou:   I don’t think that will do much good.

Ilinca:  You telling me.   Make me more careful to not walk around at time of full moon.

Lou:  Didn’t your government suggest any plan to protect yourselves?

Ilinca:  They do more than suggest.  When they take away guns, they give us whistle to blow on.

Lou:  A whistle?

Ilinca: Yes.

Lou: To blow on?

Ilinca:  That’s right. Make plenty loud noise.

Lou:  Is that to frighten the werewolf away?

Ilinca:  No, loud noise  so government man  can hear, and know where to look for body.

Lou:   At least since tonight is a full moon we’re together with our two silver bullets.  You don’t think a were-wolf will come out early tonight, do you?

Ilinca:  I don’t think we got to worry about that.  Every were-wolf I ever see or hear about wait till after dark.  Remember, is something about full moon rising in sky.

Lou;  That’s right.  At least we’re safe until it gets dark.

Ilinca:  Lou, is my turn to ask you something.  Whole time we talk, I keep thinking you look familiar to me.  Where I see you before?

Lou:  At the Little Theatre.

Ilinca;  Little Theatre?

Lou;  Sure, you know, at Milford High, I’ve seen you there,  working on the play.

Ilinca:  Oh, is that where I see you?  I guess I too busy to pay much attention.  That’s right, now you remind me, your cousins, Joan and Bonita, and Huntz, they all there too.  You are all what is called ‘student director’ am I right?

Lou:  That’s right.  Although there isn’t much to direct.

Ilinca:  Not much to direct? What you mean?

Lou:  I mean that show that Professor guy brought with him. Whose idea was it to bring in a cultural exchange director for this show anyway?  And why couldn’t he let us do Peppa Pig, like we were going to do?  Instead he brings in some play called Stonehenge Jr.

Ilinca:  You no like Stonehenge Jr.?

Lou:  No like?  What’s to like?  There is no set, no costumes, no props, and hardly any lines.  The performers just sit around in a circle and pretend they are a bunch of stones, communicating in soft monotones with each other, contemplating the effects of wind and weather on their grey surfaces. Whose idea of a play is that?  Usually the work shop has two or three moms and dads, and the dressing room is full of moms doing costumes and make up all through rehearsal, but because of this dreary show we’re doing, the whole backstage area is empty.  Almost all the rehearsals are done is Ms. Weeks’ room.  I walk into the Little Theatre most days and I don’t see a single living person, except that Professor fellow and the strange guy, Plamen.  Why are they hanging around inside the Little Theatre if there is nothing to do on the stage, and all the performers are out in another room?

Ilinca:  They love  The Stage?

 

To be continued. . .

Copyright 2017 r.k.morris