Mystery-comedy script.  Click here to start at Campfire Creepers Three: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 1)

 

Uncle Charlie:  You are sixteen years old you say?

Cesar:  Sure.  I be seventeen in August.

Uncle Charlie:  That is a very luxuriant moustache you have  for a sixteen year old, Cesar.

Cesar:  Luxuriant?  What is luxuriant?

Uncle Charlie:  Growing with vigor and in great abundance.

Cesar:  Oh, sure.  You Like?  You should see before I shave.

Uncle Charlie:  Before you shaved?

Cesar: Sure.  I shave most of it off before I fly to your country; not want to pay for extra weight on airplane.  Ha ha, I make  joke.  You like?  Pretty good, eh?  I tell you what though, if you think my moustache is something, you should see my fathers moustache.

Uncle Charlie:  Very impressive, is it?

Cesar:  Impressive?  You bet impressive.  Papa shaves this much off every day before breakfast.

Uncle Charlie:  Amazing.

Cesar:  Oh ho, I know you are thinking sounds kind of crazy, but all the men in my family like that.  We, what’s the word, mature, very early.  I been shaving ever since I was ten.  All the boys in my family have moustache like this by time they sixteen.

Uncle Charlie:  As you say, they mature at an early age.

Cesar:  Sure, my whole village  like that.  You know we got no boys choir in our church?

Uncle Charlie: No?

Cesar:  No, by time boys old enough to hold music, voice has changed.

Uncle Charlie:  Remarkable.  Must be something in the water.

Cesar;  Sure, we got good water.  Comes from  mountain.  All very strong, very healthy.  We live good long lives, get married,  always have plenty  children.

Uncle Charlie:  Yes.  Perhaps we are getting ahead of ourselves.  I notice a young lady with you.

Cesar:  Oh, please forgive me,  In  excitement to meet you lovely people, especially Joan, I forgot about my Ilinca. Please, allow me to introduce to you kind people this lovely young lady with the lovely black hair and the beautiful dark eyes and, er, other beautiful parts, my sister, Ilinca.

Uncle Charlie:  That’s quite an introduction.

Cesar:  Sure,  why not?  Ilinca quite a sister.

Ilinca:  How do you do?   Is nice to meet all of you.

Cesar:  Ilinca is one beautiful young woman, no?  Any man, I mean  teenage boy like me, would be glad to have her for his, how you say, sweetheart.

Uncle Charlie:  Have you Ilinca, a special young man, a sweetheart, as we say?

Ilinca:  Sure, I got sweetheart.  He nice fellow, sometimes.

Uncle Charlie:  Do you miss him, being away from home?

Ilinca:  No, I no miss him.  I got sweetheart right here in America.

Cesar:  What? Who this fellow? I break his arms if he touch you with even one finger.

Uncle Charlie:  Cesar, you sound almost jealous.  Surely as a brother, you cannot object to Ilincaa having a sweetheart.

Cesar:  Sure, sure.  I her brother.  I no jealous.  I only mean, I break his arms if he no  present himself first to Mama and Papa, to get their approval.  How American boy get approval from Mama and Papa when they at home in our village?

Ilinca:  Cesar, don’t be silly.  Sweetheart is not American boy.

Cesar: No?

Ilinca: No, is boy from our village, just like you.

Cesar:   Like me? Oh.  Oh, yes, like me.  That’s okay then.  You bet, Ilinca got plenty nice sweetheart.

Uncle Charlie:  It’s very good of you to look out for your sister, Cesar.

Cesar:  Sure.  You bet, even though she older, I look out for her, just same as if she little sister.  Ouch!

Uncle Charlie:  What is it?

Cesar:  I don’t know.  Strange pain in foot all of sudden. (Aside to Ilinca)  Why you stomp on foot like that?

Ilinca:  (Aside to Cesar)  Why you tell them I older sister?  I younger than you.  You tell them I younger sister!

Cesar: (Aside to Ilinca) Listen, how they believe you younger sister when I tell them I only sixteen years?  Nobody going to believe you fourteen years.

Ilinca:  (Aside to Cesar)Then you tell them I am fifteen years, same as Joan.

Cesar:  (Aside to Ilinca)Fourteen, fifteen, makes no difference, nobody going to believe that.

Ilinca:  (Aside to Cesar)  You tell them, or you walk with limp rest of day.

Cesar: (Aside to Ilinca)  Okay, okay, I tell them you fifteen years, but I no like. (To all)  Excuse me folks, I make mistake.  Ilinca not my older sister, she my younger sister.

Uncle Charlie:  You made a mistake about which one of you was older?

Cesar:  Sure, happens to me all the time.  I got another sister, Daciana, she the older one.  All the times I get Daciana and Ilinca mixed up.  Ilinca is younger sister.  She much nicer too.   Sweet temper.   She never hurt nobody, right Ilinca?

Ilinca:  Nobody that don’t have it coming to them.

Uncle Charlie:  You are the younger sister, Ilinca?  Just  how young are you?

Natasha:  Fifteen.

Uncle Charlie:  Fifteen?

Cesar:  But she be sixteen pretty soon, in June.  Girls drink same water as boys, grow up fast.

Uncle Charlie:  In June!?  Your father must be impetuous.

Cesar: No, he no in Texas.  Papa home in village with Mama, just like I tell you few minutes ago.

Natasha:  My brother Cesar make mistake.  I be sixteen in October.  It is sister Daciana who have birthday in June.

Uncle Charlie:  October, yes, I see.  Still, your mother must be a remarkable woman.

Cesar:    Sure she remarkable, she my mother!

Uncle Charlie:  Yes, I should say she has quite a constitution.

Cesar:  No, she got good digestion, same as rest of family.  What about you, you got stomach problems?

Uncle Charlie:  No, my stomach is fine.  What I meant was, your mother must be a very strong woman, made of sturdy stuff.

Cesar:  Sure, she sturdy, strong woman, my mother.  To look at her you think she just like soft flower, very pretty and delicate, but she very strong, I tell you.  One time she wrestle bear.

Bonita:  A bear?!

Cesar:  Sure, was trained bear, but still bear.  One time gypsies camp near village.  Whole town go out to see.  Gypsies play music, tell fortunes, do tricks with flaming swords, you know; when bear walks up to Papa, give him nudge with nose.  Gypsy man see this and say ‘ Ah,  Jacaus  want to wrestle you.  This sign of honor.’  Papa start to stand up to wrestle bear when Mama say ‘ I got honor too.  You sit down, Mihai, I wrestle bear.’ So mama get up and wrestle bear.

Bonita:  Was she alright?

Cesar:  Sure she alright.  She win two out of three.   Of course before final throw, bear sneeze and how you say, lose his balance, make it easier for Mama to win, but bear no complain.  Everybody give Mama big cheer.  Bear get extra honey for being such good sport.  Much laughter, much music and dance after that.  Sure, my Mama made of sturdy stuff.  Always it good to see Papa and Mama dance and laugh together.

Huntz:  Did your father wrestle the bear after that?

Cesar:  What for he want to give up dancing with beautiful wife to wrestle bear?  You think he stupid?

Huntz:  No, no.  I didn’t mean anything like that.

Cesar:  That’s okay, cousin Huntz, I just having joke with you.  Picture of Mama and Papa dancing make me very happy.  I like to joke when I feel happy.  I hope you no mind.

Huntz:  I don’t mind.

Bonita:  We’re glad you feel so happy, and that you feel comfortable enough already to joke with us.

Cesar:  Oh sure, I get comfortable right away, soon as I like people.  I don’t waste no time.  That reminds me,  I got a question for you, maybe you can explain something to me.

Bonita:  Sure, Cesar, what is it?

Cesar:  Just in the little while I been here in Milford, I keep hearing the young people, you know, the other teengers, like Ilinca and me, talk about this Coming-home dance.

Uncle Charlie:  Coming-home?  You mean the Home coming dance?

Cesar:  Ya, that’s it!  You heard about it too?

Bonita:  I imagine just about everyone in Milford and Highland knows about the Homecoming dance.  It’s a big dance at the high school, one of the biggest events of the year.

Cesar:  A big event?  That sounds nice.  I love to dance.  Too bad I no go to school here, then I could go and dance.

Bonita:  I suppose you don’t actually have to go to Milford to go to the dance, as long as your date went to Milford.

Cesar:  My date?  You mean the young lady?  Of course, but that is problem.  I know no young ladies in Milford, except of course you, Bonita, and your charming cousin Joan.

Bonita:  That is a problem.  I already have a date for the dance , —

Cesar:  Miss Joan?

Joan: Yes?

Cesar:  No,  I cannot ask you.  I got to do this the right way

Joan: Do what?

Cesar:  You see.  Uncle Charlie, you are the uncle of this charming young lady, this Joan standing here right next to us,  right?

Uncle Charlie:  That is correct, Cesar.

Cesar:  Then it is my privilege sir, to ask you if I may have the honor of escorting your niece Joan to the big event, the Homecoming dance.

 

 

To be continued…

 

Copyright 2017 r.k.morris