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Mystery-comedy script.  Click here to start at the beginning: Campfire Creepers Three: Mystery at the Milford Wax Museum (part 1)

 

Ilinca:  You think they suspect something?

Cesar:  I don’t know, but they were telling the man there, he is their uncle,  Uncle Charlie, they were telling them about strange noises, and things, and just now, before you got here, he asked them to tell him  and another fellow, this Mort, all about theses noises and things.  Uncle Charlie  maybe this Mort fellow can figure it out.

Ilinca:  Hmm.  This is not so good.  I think maybe we tell the Professor about those kids.

Cesar:  Sure, we tell Professor,  then maybe we find treasure right away and get out of here, go home.

Ilinca:  Ya.  This taking much too long.  Professor make it sound so simple when we take job to help him search for treasure.  He no tell us we have to put on big  phony act for people at Milford High School, and have to sneak around Little Theatre, always like we some guilty criminals.

Cesar:  I wonder about that too.  I figure maybe you find treasure before I even get here.  What is taking so long?

Ilinca:  I don’t know.  We no find treasure.  Professor say he think it hidden under stage.  Every day I look under stage, crawl around, with flashlight, dig around, little bit every day.  But so far no find, then those kids, every time they come around I have to be quiet, sit still and wait until they go.  Professor, he start to get impatient.  Plamen, he got evil look in his eye, like he going to do something bad pretty soon.  I glad you here now, Cesar.  With two we look twice as fast.

Cesar:  I glad I here too.  I don’t like look in Plamen’s eye anytime.  Now, listen to this:  See that boy Lou, right there?  He is so scared of everything, he is almost afraid of his own shadow.

Ilinca:  What?  How you know this?

Cesar:  What you think I listen to this whole time?  I tell you.  When Uncle  Charlie wants to take kids to this wax museum, that the place where this Mort fellow is, Lou ask him if wax museum got figures of Dracula and Wolf-man and Frankenstein monster, and what you think?

Ilinca:  I don’t know, what?

Cesar:  When Uncle Charlie tell Lou yes, Mort’s museum got all those, plus more, and then Uncle Charlie give him big story how people think they see statues move, this kid Lou turn all pale like ghost and say he no go to museum.

Ilinca:  Cesar, you really hear something.  Lou is big scaredy-cat.

Cesar: You bet.  I say to myself, ‘What this big scaredy-cat do when he find out we from Carpathian Mountains, from very place where legends of Dracula, and Wolf-man and Frankenstein monster are born?’

Ilinca: And so, what you think he do when he find out?

Cesar:  I don’t know, but I think it good thing to know.  You think so too?

Ilinca:  Ya, you right Cesar.  Sometimes when people so scared, they tell you all about things, without thinking much what they say, maybe tell you things meant for secret.

Cesar: That’s right.  Now listen, those kids say something more that gives me big idea.  That little girl there, she  called Joan, she thinks no boy  ever gives her second look.  Her uncle, he tries to tell her some boy must like her, only she got to drop something so he can pick it up and give it to her.

Ilinca: Huh?

Cesar:  Must be some crazy American custom.  Anyway, little Joan is convinced she got no feminine charm.

Ilinca:  I see what she mean.   Still, she no little girl.   Give her couple years, then boys notice.

Cesar:  That’s just it, she don’t want to wait couple years.  She feeling pretty sad, like no boy ever like her.  Uncle keep trying to cheer her up, so I get big idea:  what if cheer her up myself?

Ilinca:  What you talking about Cesar?  Why you want to cheer up little Joan?  We too busy.  Let her get own boyfriend.

Cesar:  Ilinca, my pet, my very own sweet parsnip  you miss point.   I make myself boyfriend of little Joan.

Ilinca:  You, make boyfriend with  little Joan?    What about me?  You forget you already got girlfriend.

Cesar:  I no forget you,  I do this for you Ilinca.  I just pretend to be boyfriend of little Joan, then maybe I find out what they suspect, and how much then know.    I want to find treasure soon as possible so Professor pay us like he promise, then we go home and get married, right away.  But also I think maybe those kids maybe get in way, maybe upset plans, so I figure if I pretend to be boyfriend of Joan, I find out all they know, make sure they no upset plans.  Also, I no like what you just tell me about sneaking around like criminal and putting on big act.  That not part of our deal with Professor.   Sooner we find treasure,  sooner we stop all this bad business, and sooner we go home,  get married.

Ilinca:  Ya, ya, I see.  Sooner we find treasure, sooner we get married.  This big idea of yours really something, you know?  When you going to start?

Cesar:  Right now.  I want them to take me when they go to meet this Mort fellow.

Ilinca:  Right now?  How you going to do that?  Besides, you too old for Joan, she still young teenager.  Her Uncle not gonna let you be her boyfriend.

Cesar:  I pretend to be younger, maybe just a little bit older than she.  Then uncle no object.

Ilinca:  What about me?    You cannot make yourself boyfriend little Joan when your betrothed is standing right here whole time.  How you explain that?

Cesar:  I not think of that.  I know, I tell them you my sister.

Ilinca:  Sister!

Cesar:  You got better idea?

Ilinca:  No.  Okay, I pretend to be sister.  You sure you can make Joan believe you teenage boy with crush?

Cesar:  Ilinca!  How many times you see me on  stage?  You see me make  audience feast from  palm of  hand.  You watch me, even you believe I have crush on little Joan.

Ilinca:  I tell you this you big bad wolf, I better believe you just pretending.

Cesar:  Of course, of course.  This is just acting to me.  It is all strictly business.

Ilinca:  That’s right, strictly business.  And  you make sure it’s no monkey business.  I keep my eye on you, just to make sure.

Cesar:  Ilinca!  Still you no trust me?  I am wounded.

Ilinca:  No so wounded as you be if you make wrong move with Joan.  Remember, I watch you whole time.

Cesar: Okay.  Here I go– wait, I no can just walk up to Joan, she got to drop something first.  They getting ready to go. What I do?

Ilinca:  Hurry, think of something.

Cesar:  You got pen or notebook or something?

Ilinca:  What for, you want to write her letter?

Cesar:  No, no, to drop it.

Ilinca:  Here is notebook, but what good that do?  She is one supposed to drop it.

Cesar:  I know, but I make-believe I think she drop it.  You wait, you see.  Hurries forward to where Uncle Charlie, Joan, Bonita, Lou, and Huntz are finishing their conversation and discreetly drops Ilinca’s notebook at Joan’s feet.

Cesar:  Excuse me, my dear young lady.

Joan:  Me?

Cesar: Yes, you.( Stoops to pick up notebook.  Presents it to Joan.) I believe you drop this.

Joan: Me?

Cesar:  Yes, you, my charming young feminine female.  Never before do I see such feminine charm.

Joan:  Me?

Cesar: (To Uncle Charlie)  She got trouble with  voice?

Uncle Charlie:  Her voice is fine, I think she is perhaps a trifle surprised.

Cesar: What is trifle?

Uncle Charlie:  Little bit.

Cesar:  Little bit, big bit.  What surprise?  Is just Cesar, right here in how you say ‘broad daylight’.  Is no surprise.

Uncle Charlie:  What I meant was, I believe the way in which you spoke to her came as a surprise.

Cesar:  What?  Surely this lovely young woman is no surprised to hear admiring teenage boys, like Cesar, pay attentions to her lovely self.

Uncle Charlie:  Perhaps it would help if I were to start introductions.  You, I take it, are named Cesar.  I am Uncle Charlie,  I mean, I am their Uncle Charlie, and this is my niece Joan, and another niece Bonita, and these are my nephews Lou and Huntz.  Joan and Bonita and Lou and Huntz are all cousins.

Cesar:  All big family, that nice, all together,  like my family.   It is very much pleasure to meet you.  I am Cesar Valeriu Andreica, at your service.  I hope I was not too bold in approaching you, it is just that since I come to visit America only yesterday, I have not had much chance to make acquaintance with young teen age people my own age.

Uncle Charlie:  Just what is your age, Cesar?

Cesar:  My age, well let me see I think I just a little bit older than cousin Joan.  I guess you maybe fifteen years.

Joan:  Sixteen on my next birthday.

Cesar:  There, what I tell you?  I sixteen now, be seventeen my next birthday.

 

To be continued. . .

 

Copyright 2017 r.k.morris