Part Four: Friendly or Faux? Unravelling the Suspicious Behavior of the Swiss Yodelers
We left Phil and Frankie discussing the suspicious behavior of the Swiss yodelers, who claimed they wanted to make sure they were not confused by Americans as being from Sweden, an occurrence, they indicated, had happened to them regularly. After these men departed from Mr. Gordon’s cabin, Frankie put his finger on the nub with the brilliant observation, “There’s no such thing as a Swedish yodeler.”
To which Phil replied:
“Are you sure about that?”
“I was hoping you would know.”
“I suppose not. They don’t have Alps in Sweden. All the yodelers I ever heard of came from the Alps. ”
“There you have it. No Alps. That proves it.”
“That they’re not Swiss?”
“That they’re not yodelers. I knew there was something phony about that Hans, the way he kept glancing around, real cagey like.”
“Frankie, I don’t know if the fact that they’re yodelers or not is important, you could be right, and I don’t want to discourage you, but I was thinking that they were lying to us when they kept saying they were from Switzerland. I don’t think those guys are Swiss at all.”
“Not Swiss? What makes you say that, Curly?”
“Something about the way Conrad said the Führer, almost like he was in awe.”
“The Führer, who’s that?”
“Frankie, don’t you pay attention to anything going on in the world. The Führer is Hitler. You do know who Hitler is, don’t you ?”
“Sure Curly, I know. I guess I don’t pay that much attention because it seems like we have enough troubles of our own right here without getting mixed up in the problems of the rest of the world. You have to agree with that, don’t you?”
“Yes, Frankie, and no. Sometimes the problems of the rest of the world get so big that they become our problems too, and then we have to get mixed up in it, whether we want to or not. So I figure each of us should pay attention, stay informed, and know what’s going on in the world.”
“You sound serious Curly. What is going on in the world?”
“You asked me Frankie, just remember that. I think we’re going to end up in another war.”
“I thought the World War ended all that.”
“So did a lot of other people. I guess that was just a case of mass wishful thinking. They’re at war right now over in Europe.”
“Things have quieted down since last fall, haven’t they?”
“No, Frankie, it’s just that there isn’t much shooting going on right now since Hitler and Stalin took over Poland. Not only that, but look at the past several years: Italy attacked Ethiopia. Japan invaded China. Spain had a civil war. Things aren’t quiet at all. Sure, we don’t feel it here much yet; we have a big country and we’re separated by two big oceans from most of the world. We also have good neighbors like Canada and Mexico, instead of being surrounded by fascists and communists, so things seem pretty calm to a lot of people here; but the fact is, if you look east or west across those two big oceans, the world is at war again and as far as I can tell, it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”
“I didn’t know it was that bad. I’m kind of sorry I asked.”
“Don’t be, Frankie. I think a lot of us Americans want peace so bad that we won’t even acknowledge there’s a war going on unless it hits us in our own back yard.”
“So what do you figure all this has to do with those two guys posing as Swiss yodelers?”
“I don’t know Frankie. While we may not be at war with anyone, a lot of countries are at war, and some of them may already think of us as enemies. That’s why I can’t get over why a man who is supposedly Swiss would speak of the Führer in such a reverent tone. I think it was all he could do to keep from clicking his heels and coming to attention as he said it.”
“So what do you think the truth is about those guys?”
“I almost hate to say it Frankie, but I believe those guys are Nazis.”
“Nazis?”
“Yep. Nazi agents. That’s the only thing that could explain their behavior.”
“Gee, and I thought they were posing as yodelers to get a job.”
“Frankie, why would anyone go to so much trouble and then pretend to be a yodeler of all things?”
“If you don’t have a job and you’re not a citizen, they deport you.”
“They do?”
“Yeah, it happened to my second cousin Cyril. He came over from England one summer to stay with my aunt and uncle –”
“The story of your cousin–”
“Second cousin.”
“All right, your second cousin, Cyril will have to wait. Right now let’s go in the kitchen and see if can find something warm to fix for Mr. Gordon.”
“I don’t think he needs it now, he’s asleep.”
“So he is. Out like a light. Frankie, put another log on the fire, would you, while I cover him up with this blanket. . . There, nice and cozy.”
“Look at him, like a big puppy curling up with his blanket.”
“Yeah. Petey does the same thing with his blanket. He gets that same look too, like he’s smiling. He almost looks sort of, well, cute, doesn’t he, Frankie?”
“I guess so, as long as I think of him as a big puppy. You know, he kind of reminds me of Regalo in a way too.”
“What, your little Chihuahua? How’s that?”
“His eyebrows.”
“His eyebrows? What about them?”
“I just noticed the resemblance, how Regalo does the same thing sometimes, raises his eyebrows just enough to give him those wrinkles in his forehead. Sort of makes him look intelligent.”
“Yeah , I suppose it does.”
“If only people could really be as intelligent as dogs look.”
“Yeah–hey, that reminds me, what was that crack you said a while ago about you and I looking like just a couple of dumb Americans?”
“Well, what about it? I was just trying to make a point.”
“Count me out next time you make a point like that. When it comes to dumb looks, speak for yourself .”
“All right, all right. It’s just that you’re my best friend and I didn’t want you to feel left out.”
“Left out, he says.”
“I hear you. Take it easy would you? Calm down.”
“I am calm.”
“No need to get testy.”
“Who’s testy?”
” You are Curly. Just listen to you. Do you want to wake Mr. Gordon?”
“All right. I’m calm. I’m quiet. And I am not testy. All I was trying to say was I don’t look that dumb.”
“How do you know?”
“How do I know? What do you mean how to I know? I’ll tell you how I know. Among other things, Alice says my appearance is indicative of a deep and perceptive soul well-suited to the pursuit and expression of my artistic abilities.”
“Alice said that?”
“Yes.”
“She actually used the word indicative in a sentence?”
“Well, maybe not that exact word. I forget just how she put it but I know what she meant.”
“And what Alice meant was that you’re no dope.”
“That’s right.”
“And she doesn’t think you look like one either.”
“Right again.”
“Then you’ve got nothing to worry about, Curly; your worries are over. Alice is stuck on you sure as Mr. Gordon was stuck in that pile of snow.”
“How do you know?”
“Women are blind to the faults of the men they love, Curly. Didn’t you know that?”
“They are?”
‘Sure. So when Alice says you don’t look like a dope, well, there you have it.”
“Yeah, you’re right Frankie. This is great news! I can hardly wait to see Alice again so I can tell her how I feel about her. Wait, wait, I just thought of something.”
“What’s that?”
“What if she is just one of those protective types, you know, who feels sorry for a guy and wants to make him feel better about himself, but it’s nothing personal, you know, no emotion other than pity.”
“I never thought of that Curly, you’ve got something there.”
“Frankie, I gotta ask you something, and you gotta tell me the truth as my best friend, even if you think it will hurt me. Do you promise?”
“Okay Curly, I promise. What is it?”
“I want you to take a good look at me. Go ahead. Take your time. Look at my face. Do you think that in the eyes of a fine, beautiful, intelligent woman like Alice I would look like a dope?”
“Curly, that’s asking an awful lot, even as your best friend.”
“Let me have it Frankie.”
“Honestly?”
“I can take it.”
“All right, you asked for it. . .”
To be continued. . .
Click here to read Ski bums and Sagbutts: A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 3fb).
Click here to read Ski bums and Sagbutts: A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Part 2fb).
Click here to read Ski bums and sagbutts: A madcap frolic in the snow. (Part 1fb).
Copyright 2017 r.k.morris