If you want to start at the beginning, click here to read Ski Bums and Sagbutts- A Madcap Frolic in the Snow (Parts 1 to 4)

 

Part Six:  Don’t Look Darling, or The Ongoing Discomfiture of Mr. Gordon.

With Mr. Gordon still asleep on the sofa,  we left Phil and Frankie in conversation as there is a knock on the door of the cabin.  Phil opens the door and says “Oh, Hello, uh,  Miss?“

“Yes.    My father sent me to find Mr. Elliott.  Is he here?”

“Sure, he’s right here.  Won’t you come in?”

“Thank you. Oh dear, what happened to Mr. Gordon?”

“Frankie happened to Mr. Gordon.”

“Frankie?”

“I mean, we had a little mishap with the snow coming down off the roof.  Mr.  Gordon found himself at the center of a minor avalanche. ”

“Was he hurt?”

“No, just shaken up a little. He’ll be allright.  He fell asleep almost as soon as we brought him inside and laid him down on that sofa.”

“Poor Mr. Gordon.  After he told me about all those terrible things that kept happening to him, and how he came up here to get some peace and quiet, and now this.”

“Mr. Gordon told you about terrible things that kept happening to him?”

“Yes.  It seems there are these two men in the town where Mr. Gordon lives.  He can’t decide whether they’re just a couple of well-meaning imbeciles, or if they’re really out to get him, but the most horrible things happen to Mr. Gordon whenever they’re around.  Would you believe one of them actually knocked Mr. Gordon unconscious with a snow shovel?”

Phil looked at Frankie,  “And now this.”

“Pardon me?”

“I’m sorry Miss  ah…?”

“Darling.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Miss Darling.  Miss Polly Darling.”

“Oh, your name is Darling?”

“That’s right, at least that’s what grandfather changed it to when he and grandmother came to America.  Don’t ask me to pronounce the original for you; it was so many consonants and syllables: our name looked like on of those places on the map in the Dutch East Indies.”

“Your family is Dutch then?”

“Sure, lots of Van families around here.  We had a Van in our name too, but Grandfather dropped it to sound more American.”

“So your grandfather shortened the family name from something like Van Djarlinkerhooten?”

“That’s the general idea.  except there wasn’t even anything remotely close to Darling in our original name.  The family legend passed down by my Grandmother is that whenever she and Grandfather would go for a walk in the park in New York, where they first settled before they moved out here, they would pass the young couples sitting on the benches and that’s where he first heard the word darling.  According to Grandmother, Grandfather thought that was what  all Americans  called each other, so that was the name he adopted.”

“It’s a good thing your grandparents never walked by my cousin Willie when he was out with a dame, or your family name would by Masher.”

“Frankie! . . .  Miss Darling, this questionable character is Mr. Elliott.”

“Pleased to meet you Mr.  Elliott.  Just call me Polly.”

“Same goes for me Polly,  just call me Frankie.  So your Mr. Darling’s daughter.  For your information Curly, Mr. Darling is the owner of the resort.  Polly, my well -mannered friend here,  with whom you have been conversing is –”

“Mr. Philip  Wellbright.  I’m Polly Darling.  but of course you already know that.  Please  just call me Polly.  How do you do Mr. Wellbright.  I’ve so been looking forward to meeting you.  May I call you Phil?”

“Sure, Polly.  You’ve been looking forward to meeting me?”

At this moment Mr. Gordon stirred from his slumbers “Polly?  Polly is that you?”

“Yes Mr. Gordon.  I’m right here.”

“Did those fools get you too, I mean, are you all right?”

“Yes, Mr. Gordon, I’m fine.  Father sent me on an errand to find Mr.  Elliott.  I hope our talking didn’t disturb you.”

“Not in the least my child.  Yours was like the voice of a healing angel amid the tumult of battle.”

“We’re awful sorry about that Mr. Gordon, and well, we’re sorry about everything.”

“Yeah Mr. Gordon, we’re sorry.  At least this time I kept Curly away from the snow shovel.”

“Yes, that was very thoughtful of you Mr.  Elliott.  I’m sure at some distant time in the future I will realize just how fortunate I was that you were here to prevent Mr. Wellbright from seizing a snow shovel and bludgeoning me, but I must confess that for the moment that aspect of the affair provides me  little comfort.”

“Can I get you anything Mr. Gordon?  How about a nice  cup of hot cocoa?”

“Thank you,  Polly, that would be delightful.  You’ll find everything you need in the kitchen.”

“Would you like to come with me, Phil?”

“Sure, Polly, anything to help.”

“You two want a hand?”

“Actually Mr.  Elliott, I wonder if you could stay here for a moment.”

“Sure Mr. Gordon, anything you say. ”

Phil and Polly went into the kitchen.

“What can I do for you, Mr. Gordon?”

“I’m afraid sitting in that pile of snow has caused me to become soaked to the skin.  The fact is, Mr.  Elliott, that my pants are extremely uncomfortable at this moment.  I don’t want to cause any stir with Miss Darling here, you know, to avoid embarrassment for either one of us, so I would like you to keep those two occupied in the kitchen while I  go discretely into the bedroom and put on my other pair of trousers.”

“I’ll do better than that, Mr. Gordon.  I’ll bring the dry clothes to you.  You just leave everything to Frankie.  First let’s get you out of those wet pants.  We don’t want you catching a chill.”

“No–Mr.  Elliott, what are you doing?  Let go!”

“Just a little tug.  Hold onto the blanket.  No one will ever notice.  These wet clothes are a little harder to pull off than I expected.”

“No, please, stop!”

“One-more-pull.  There.  Boy, you weren’t kidding, these pants sure are soaked.  Hey are those red-flannels you’re wearing a union suit, or are the drawers separate?”

“I’m afraid the drawers are separate.”

“Better let me have those too.  We don’t want a rash on top of a chill.”

” Mr. Elliott,  I am not a  toddler who needs his diaper changed.”

” I know, I know, but this reminds me of the times I spent with my nephew  Johnny when he was a baby.  I used to change him too.”

“I’m perfectly capable of changing myself,  that is, I just want some dry pants.  My drawers are fine, so don’t bother.”

“It’s no bother, Mr. Gordon, honest. One, two, three.  Got ’em.  These feel kind of damp too.  You got anything else under there?”

“I have, and they’re completely dry and comfortable.  Now will you please go and get my other pair of pants? ”

“Right away, Mr. Gordon.  I’d better hang these wet things of yours in front of the fire to dry. . . there, with the chair turned like that, I don’t think anyone will notice.”

“Please hurry Mr. Elliott. I feel horribly silly like this.  What if they, that is, what if Miss Darling comes in from the kitchen?”

“Just hold on to that blanket, Mr. Gordon, and she’ll never know. ”

 

To be continued. . .

 

Copyright 2017 r.k.morris